You could always ask him directly for advice http://singletrackworld.com/members/captainflashheart/profile/

For whatever reason I’ve always got on better with mates’ mums than their dads and business women than men. No idea why. I think I feel more relaxed around them, and end up being kind of pally and cheeky yet respectful. I’m also a good listener – I wasn’t until I began coaching – and women love the opportunity (and space) to express themselves without being interrupted or talked at/over all the time.

women love the opportunity (and space) to express themselves without being interrupted or talked at/over all the time.

This. So many people unwittingly do this. Some bosses think you exist only to listen to their brain dumps. People like listeners.

When talking to anyone new, the knack is to quickly find common ground. There are often visual clues to their interests. Or get some background info from other people they know. Ask people to explain things as it gives them the chance to shine and feel listened to.

When talking to men, I ask them what they think; with women, how they feel. But not everyone conforms to the gender stereotypes so play it by ear! I prefer to be asked how I feel, for example. But I’m quite feminine for a bloke.

I’d start with “did you see the bake off”

Surely this is quite easy?
People (particularly women) love talking about themselves, so just let them.
Ask loads of questions, life, hobbies, work history, whatever.
Treat it as a test to find out as much about them whilst not revealing anything about yourself which you’re not specifically asked for.
Smile a lot, open body language, nod etc.

Works in bars too 😀

Ohhh I Luv a Kryton thread.

Makes me feel kinda “normal”

If you find Demonstrative Women an issue to make simple conversation then it clearly means you have a fetish for that kind of thing and you should go forth and experiment a little.

Failing that, Women are irrelevant in a Business context, Gender is no longer acceptable as either a benefit nor excuse, it’s what’s underneath that counts. Can they detach themselves from being Women, most certainly they can.

Simple Professionalism.

And Respect.

Don’t talk, just pretend to listen.

it’s what’s underneath that counts.

Boobs? Helping him undress her in his head isn’t going to help 😆

Listen if you are interested.
Be confident in what you say but only say what you mean.
Only flatter if it is sincere.
Don’t be afraid to decide you don’t like someone. It isn’t all about them liking you.

This applies to dealings with men and women. Good luck.

This post is extremely sexist OP. Women are equal to men in every way, except for the rationality, accountability and reason aspects. You sexist.

without coming across (excuse the pun) that I’m only interested in thier chest/arse/etc

I suggest you don’t look at them then.
Or wear mirrored sunglasses, so they can’t tell.

bikebouy – Member
Ohhh I Luv a Kryton thread.

I have a reputation?

Torminalis – Member
Don’t be afraid to decide you don’t like someone. It isn’t all about them liking you.

Thats useful, I do have an issue with “wanting to be liked” and I think that affects the way I talk to people…

I have a reputation?

….

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/whatever-happened-to-mastiles_fanylion#post-5220149

randomjeremy – Member
This post is extremely sexist OP. Women are equal to men in every way, except for the rationality, accountability and reason aspects. You sexist.

I get the sarcasm but the majority of that statement is bullshit. Women and men will always have these issues becuase thats how we are biologically programmed to be. Obviosly I’m affected in a away which is not ideal in a business environment and need to modify my own behavior pr psychology to cope.

Imagine stating that the feeling of “I’m attracted to women” is sexist becuase I’d used the term “women”; its not, its natural. To suggest you change the statement to not refer to the target audience as “women” but something more generic is just hiding the truth under a banner of politically overstated pseudo social acceptance.

Nursey I Like ’em Firm And Fruity!

woooof!

Anyway, I’ve thought about this a bit more. Is the specific “business” conversation I’m uncomfortable with – I’m entering into a sphere of work relationships which include business politics and strategy, that I’m finding hard to express or talk in an educated manner on par with my peers and superiors. AND for some reason I find it more difficult in a social situations AND even more difficult if my co-conversationalist is female.

That probably makes things worse, and someone will be around to burn my house down shortly…

Er maybe what you need is a career change–do they still have lighthouse keepers?

Do you have a significant other?

Kryton, yes, yes you do have a reputation. Don’t tarnish it by being like one of us, ok? 😆

Yep.

I’m not communicating this very well. I could talk all day to anyone, male, female, more or less knowledge than I about subjects I’m comfotable with – I have confidence issues.

But its the business politics and strategy type conversations I have issues with. Perhaps I just need to gain more experience.

bikebouy – Member
Kryton, yes, yes you do have a reputation. Don’t tarnish it by being like one of us, ok?

I must admit, I’d feel a little like the op in those situations, mostly due to a little shyness

I usually get a bit nervous around strangers, I doesn’t stop me talking to people, just takes me some time to relax, and I usually feel it more when its women

I am sure Freud would have a field day telling me why

Okay…

When asked a complex question, don’t answer immediately. This can be played out in all sorts of good ways. If you genuinely don’t think you can give a satisfactory answer, say so. Let them know you want to think about it. This will ensure that when you speak, people will listen as they presume you give as much consideration to everything that comes out of your mouth.

If you do know the answer, pause and look thoughtful, you will be amazed how long people will sit and wait for you to respond. Again, it lets people know that you consider very carefully what you say.

You say they think you are naive to your credibility which means you are obviously good at what you do, play to this. You clearly over think things. Turn this to your advantage, let everyone know that your epic mind is working on their problem and they will love you when you do the business.

As for small talk, **** it, just listen to them blather on about their kids, blather back a bit and then get down to business.

Kryton57

But its the business politics and strategy type conversations I have issues with. Perhaps I just need to gain more experience.

Ah, simple! Just “Google it” (other search engines are available). That way, with just 3mins reading you too can become an “Expert” in literally any subject! Short cut the normal 25 years of experience and on-the-job learning, and just spout some bull from a wiki page as required. Make sure you use the word “Fact” a lot even though you have absolutely no basis for your standpoint. If someone argues with you in one of your meetings, just call them a troll.

Torminalis – thats very helpful, thanks. Now that I think about it, I’m very talkative by nature and would have a tendency to talk quickly in such a situation.

You clearly over think things

Yes, in all walks of life. Seem’s I need to slow down a bit before I react

[video]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xEcMG2Jvx3k[/video]

I pride myself in talking to everyone, regardless of the pigeon hole that they sit in, about bikes. Everyone loves bikes.

I like to talk to women as if I am the sexiest thing on planet earth.

Sometimes they start to belive the lie themselves, this leads to awkwardness at work social occasions.

Turn this to your advantage, let everyone know that your epic mind is working on their problem and they will love you when you do the business.

As for small talk, **** it, just listen to them blather on about their kids, blather back a bit and then get down to business.

Well done I think you got away with it 😉

Ohhh I Luv a Kryton thread.

Makes me feel kinda “normal”

THIS.

So many people commenting seem to have seized on the term ‘Power Women’ and gone off on a righteous sexism tangent, completely missing the OP’s point. As the OP suggests – Power Women / Power Men, makes no difference. Confidence in conversing with alpha-persons is the issue, made worse by the fact that talking to females can be an even more difficult thing, especially when you like them, which I can relate to.

Though quite why the OP is into this sort of alpha-female person, I don’t know. It would appear they probably wouldn’t suit him, if so difficult to approach in the first place. 😉

When talking to anyone new, the knack is to quickly find common ground.

This would be easy if one were vaguely normal.

I live on my own in a house with a family of 10 bikes. My career consists of looking at plants in the Arctic and processing data. Not too sure with whom I’d have common ground (female or male). Hence, I can relate to this. 🙂