Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 222 total)
  • How to introduce myself to a hottie on my commute?
  • Kit
    Free Member

    I'm probably going to regret this… 🙄

    Once a week in the morning I pass a lass going the same way as me to work on the cyclepath. She rides a nice MTB and looks great. This has been independently verified by a mate who rides past her in the opposite direction 😉

    I'd like to say hello and get her number/email – how would you do it? Do I engineer a situation with said matey where we get her to stop (puncture, trouser malfunction..)? Or just the good old flash grenades/stun gun/rohipnol?

    In all seriousness, I'm pretty shy around the lasses, so some manning up advice appreciated! Ta.

    chakaping
    Free Member

    You could try doing a boom gnarly skid, but be careful not to get her pregnant.

    sobriety
    Free Member

    'Hi I'm Kit, nice bike'

    'Yeah my bf/husband built it for me'

    *Akward Silence*

    😛

    iDave
    Free Member

    pulls up leather armchair, dons smoking jacket, and awaits………

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    Engineer a massive crash as she approaches you and as she tends you, tell her that you were lost in her beauty and utterly forgot to ride your bike.

    Then pull a bunch of flowers from your bag and hand them to her, complete with a card containing your contact details…

    Pook
    Full Member

    Like that advert, write 'Hi' on the bottom a coffee mug and sit waiting for her. Drink it in perfect time for when she comes past.

    Then knock her out with your wang.

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    1)Ride along behind her just keeping an appropriate distance.
    2)Follow her wherever she's going.
    3)Lurk around the Biffa bins allday whilst she's at work.
    4)Follow her to wherever she goes in the evening.
    5)Be there the next day when she leaves for work.
    Repeat from step 1.

    If it goes well you might even be able to steal some underwear from her washing line to add to all the headcam footage stills you adourn your bedroom walls with.

    Trekster
    Full Member

    sobriety – Member
    'Hi I'm Kit, nice bike'

    'Yeah my bf/husband built it for me'

    *Akward Silence*

    Ditto

    Or get ahead a bit, fake a puncture, stop her and ask if she has a pump 😯

    Works for me

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    Scatter broken glass on her route, so that you can help her fix the inevitable puncture.

    But never, ever mention that you've done this, even after you're married. She will never forgive you.

    davidtaylforth
    Free Member

    1)Ride along behind her just keeping an appropriate distance.
    2)Follow her wherever she's going.
    3)Lurk around the Biffa bins allday whilst she's at work.
    4)Follow her to wherever she goes in the evening.
    5)Be there the next day when she leaves for work.
    Repeat from step 1.

    Best thing Ive read on here all week.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    get a mate to push her in the canal as she goes past so you can rescue her?

    it does require fairly good timing and for your mate to understand *exactly* where he's supposed to be, though, or you just read about it in the local paper the followign day.

    brownix
    Free Member

    You ever seen the movie 50 first dates.
    If not i suggest you watch it, he tries tonnes of ways to get her attention. SOOOOO funny

    Drac
    Full Member

    Try talking, it goes along way.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Start with the Contador style trigger salute as you blast past her. She'll like that 🙂

    soobalias
    Free Member

    skills course required here i think.
    this one is popular.
    Cyclists guide to Chatting up the Women

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    I mentally formed the sentence "Hi. I'm obviously only starting this conversation because you're exceedingly good-looking, but that is a very cool bike." yesterday morning while waiting for the lights to change at Aldwych.

    But it didn't come out of my mouth. Which is probably a good thing. 🙂

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    Wheelies… chicks love wheelies.

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    I'm surprised your fame (notoriety?) and good looks haven't already overcome her 🙂

    davidtaylforth
    Free Member

    You ever seen the movie 50 first dates.
    If not i suggest you watch it, he tries tonnes of ways to get her attention. SOOOOO funny

    I probably wouldnt bother. The chances of it as being as good as the reply from TS Yeti are slim

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Or get ahead a bit, fake a puncture, stop her and ask if she has a pump

    Kit: Would you like a pump?
    Hottie: Sorry?
    Kit: Er I mean, do you have a pump?

    rOcKeTdOg
    Full Member

    Is it a white diamond back? IF so I probably know her, seriously!

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    this her?

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    Her cup-holder contains a cup of piss, with a straw. Avoid. 😯

    DenDennis
    Free Member

    "Hey, that's a really nice, uh, saddle you've got there"

    Jamie
    Free Member

    Her cup-holder contains a cup of piss, with a straw. Avoid

    Or not….it might be the thing that drew Kit's attention to her.

    Oh and geetee1972 to the thread please.

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    trouser malfunction

    Kit. How were you thinking this would work? Just out of interest? 😀

    Kit
    Free Member

    this her?

    Not far off, actually! I'm taking notes gents, cheers 🙂

    Jamie
    Free Member

    Kit. How were you thinking this would work? Just out of interest?

    I am assuming it will involve some of those tear off stripper trousers.

    Fluff66
    Free Member

    Kit
    Have you seen
    this thread
    😆

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    "Morning. You know that thing in the free papers where they have "I saw you on the tube and you were cute, call me"? It's kinda a shame they don't have one for cyclists, although I'm not really sure those things really work anyway. Anyhoo. The point I'm making is, if there was a section in Cycling Weekly like that, I'd probably be putting an entry in there to try and get your attention. But since there isn't I've engineered this trouser malfunction so that we could have this conversation and so that I could give you this card, which has my telephone number, my email address and my facebook and twitter accounts on it and I wonder perhaps if you'd like to maybe hang out sometime. Yes. Anyway. Think about it. "

    DezB
    Free Member

    Why not just take mental pictures for later use like the rest of us?

    Jamie
    Free Member

    ….or an actual picture. Just make sure the flash is turned off.

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    Well if you don't want to start with stalking her (I always call my vicitms girlfriends Penelope BTW) then I have a Plan B for you.. it goes like this…

    Pull a wheelie as you pass her, give her a massive obvious sideways glance, if you can take a hand off the bars to wave all the better, finish the wheelie still looking at her by crashing into a bus stop…

    …if she keeps on riding go back to my plan A.

    ahwiles
    Free Member

    start by making eye contact and smiling.

    if she smiles back, repeat once (but no more) then:

    have a flower to give her as you pass? (no idea why, but flowers have ALWAYS been well recieved ime)

    leave a note tied to the flower?

    warning, i have no idea about women, but that's what i'd do under the circumstances…

    warton
    Free Member

    Start with the Contador style trigger salute as you blast past her

    great idea, important that you don't get it mixed up with the Cavendish 'archer' salute though…

    donsimon
    Free Member

    Do not, I repeat, do not wear lycra!

    z1ppy
    Full Member

    Do you have to stop at any point during you journey together? (engineer it so you stop together)
    Obviously easier to talk to some-one when you both stopped, then make a comment about the bike/riding/how goddam fit she is..

    Last day of my commute (changed job) I had a nice young lady start talking to me @ the traffic lights, about how [cycle] fit I was, to blast past her everyday (it was a very short commute for me).
    Compliments work well.. hope she didn't think she scared me off the commute as I disappeared after that, though she was probably just making conversation…

    donks
    Free Member

    i cant believe you pass her…if it were me i'd just stay right on that back wheel, rohipnol blow dart primed and ready… 😈

    Kit
    Free Member

    Next week is also my last week at work, so unless I'm up early on my holidays I'm unlikely to catch her. And when I say 'catch' I don't mean with like a bear trap or something. Maybe a net though…

    Sui
    Free Member

    so you've not told us where you commute from and too and at what time….

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 222 total)

The topic ‘How to introduce myself to a hottie on my commute?’ is closed to new replies.