One of my best mates had a heart attack recently. He’s only 38, and not the picture of health at all. He’s a heavy drinker, and was smoking about 50 to 60 a day up until he had the heart attack. I think he had resigned himself to an early grave, mainly I think because his old man died at the age of 30, and he didn’t think he’d make it past that age.

He seems to have cut his drinking down a bit, although probably not enough, and the same with the smoking. I try to get him to come out, but he’s become a bit reclusive as he’s spent so much time inside after being off work, and I guess he’s lost his social skills. I’m the only person who goes and sees him anymore as well.

I don’t want to patronise him with what I suspect everyone else he sees telling him he should do, but I am really worried, and scared that I’m gonna go round one day soon and the worst has happened.

Anyone got any experience of dealing with this type of thing?

Yup.

Mate of mine is/was a chronic drinker and a heavy smoker. He’s been boozing heavily for yrs to the point that people would stop coming out if he was around as it was inevitable he would cause a scene/embarrass us and himself etc.
He had a breakdown a couple of yrs back, laid off sick and then lost his job in IT when Woollies went bust.
He spiraled into drinking several bottles of wine a day and ended up living in real squalor. We did an intervention where we – quite literally – shovelled all the junk out of his house and into a skip, to give you an idea his kitchen floor was covered in wine bottles.
Since then he’s been workling for a mate labouring as a gardeners assistant. It’s been the saving of him, he’s always sneered at manual work but this has saved his life.
He still drinks, still lies to us about it but it’s also quite obvious he’s drinking a whole lot less than before, his skin looks better and he looks a little healthier.
Still smoking like a pillock though.

The one thing i’ve learnt is that you can’t force or badger anyone into doing what they are not prepared to do. All you can do is help them to understand their options then support them.

Ultimately it’s up to them and them alone.

Lost my best mate 6 years ago to a massive heart attack. He was a fantastic, kind caring person and a brilliant father. I was with him when he had his first warning signs a couple of years previous and he continued to tell me he had stopped drinking, cut down on smoking and was sticking to the new healthy eating routine the hospital had recommended, and guess what I believed him.

The truth was he drank still, only secretly, ate takeaways whilst out walking his dog and continued to smoke heavily. He was actually quite lean and fit but had a heart problem which he chose to ignore. He knew he was going to die young (as upon his death he had left full details and instructions for his wife) and chose to in his words “live a short life to the full” He died on a beautiful sunny day, playing football for his nephew in a Dads versus Lads game.

6 years on his wife and daughter are still struggling to come to terms with the fact that they didn’t see through his actions and try to make sure he took better care of himself.

Selfish or a brave man ? Life isn’t straight forward .

Sounds familiar stumpy

My dads 44 and had 8 heart attacks since age 33

Now has a stent after the second last heart attack has finally stopped smoking , eats healthy – i got him a mountain bike and he rides it regularly – he always believed he had an active job n didnt need to exercise

He smoked 40 a day , stressful job and lots of pressure as a project manager recoveing failing projects

Cat with 9 lives – i caught him smokin a couple years ago during turninf up at his building site un announced and simply said – “dont you want to see yoir grand kids born ? ”