Sorry for the long post, but don’t know how to solve this.

I currently live in a mid terrace which shares a passageway from the road into an open yard/garden area with the three other houses. The gardens are separate but it’s one big space. We’re one of the ends, our immediate next door neighbour is by the passaageway, and then that’s mirrored on the other side.

Our next door neighbour is a 70 year old who lives on her own.
Next door to her is a 20 somthing post-grad who’s just moved in – very shy but very friendly.

The pair on the end are a 30 something bloke and his 50 something mother. Paul and Linda. Not Wings. Not veggie. And they’re hideous.

Some examples:
– the post grad’s house used to have a lovely couple and their little girl living there. We’d regularly hear Paul and his mother talking about ‘p*ki’ family next door (they were actually from Sheffield wth indian parents), and Paul was once caught by our next door neighbour – Anne – peeing up against their wall. Ridiculously in the passageway, so it affected us all.

– We regularly hear them shouting at each other in the house, swearing and yelling. He’s like a 15 year old, and it shatters the peace on a sunny afternoon

– They’ve got a ton of tat in the garden – pot pig, street signs bolted to the wall, red post box – that doesn’t bother me at all, each to their own, but the other night about 7pm he decided he needed to drill four holes in the post box using a wooden drill bit (after 4 hours of him drilling other things). 7pm is when we put our lad to sleep and so i politely asked him to wait. He completely ignored me and carried on drilling.

– had a go at Anne for leaving a puddle at the end of the passageway. She’d just cleaned up a massive pile of dog crap. Between us we do this regularly when it is dropped.

– put up a stupid brass sign saying “this house is monitored 24 hours by a nosey neighbour (clearly directed at Anne – more on this later)

Now, the latest thing is as the plants have come into bloom. Anne has a flowering shrub on the front which has flowed about 3 inches over into the passageway. It looks lovely, but someone has taken to ripping handfuls of it off and dumping them in the passageway. I’d put money on it being Paul or his hideous mother.

Now a bit of background – Anne came off a horse when she was young and smashed her head in. She went on to recover and live a very successful academic life, but is missing that little switch of recognition that you have when you know someone doesn’t fancy talking. For example, if we bring our lad back from a walk and he’s asleep, we’ll talk in hushed tones but she’ll happily talk to you normally not picking up the sign. Or she’ll start a conversation with you when you’re clearly in a rush to get out and not pick up on that. We don’t mind it, and Anne knows she does it. She’s asked us to simply tell her outright so we do.
Thankfully, the new neighbour has also picked up on this and does the same. It works well. She brings the bins in, takes them out – does lots of very kind things like that. As she’s retired she likes to keep busy and is always in the garden and will always say hello (hence the nosey neighbour thing).

Anne’s family are over in Oz, or at the other end of the country, so we look out for her here – christmas, birthdays, errands and stuff.

Trouble is, we’re moving out in a month, and I’m now really worried for her. The bullying has seemed to increase recently and while I will readily confront the nobs at the end if I see them doign somethign, I don’t think Anne will. I have to make it stop now and I simply don’t know how.

sorry for the long post.

Are you moving far? Perhaps you or your partner could keep popping back on a regular basis and look out for her?

Not sure what else you can do – it’s hard to get people like that to modify their behaviour, and the authorities would probably need a longer history of antisocial behaviour to take any sort of interest.

Help Anne install a bit of CCTV before you go, so at least anything like that is recorded?

I used to live next door to a similar arrangement – old mum, middle-aged son, highly dysfunctional, and we had to call the police one time.
The problem with confronting them and laying down the law, is once you are gone, unless you can make regular check-ups, they are going to take it out on the vulnerable lady (this is how scumbags operate – they build up their hatred for the weakest).
You have a list of anti-social misdemeanors in your post, I suggest you get the anti-social form from the police and fill it in. Unfortunately there isn’t much else you can do.

As Martin says can you drop by after you move? Get him on his own and threaten him, tell him you’ll be checking on Anne regularly. When you do look out for him and give him evils. A 30 year old bully who still lives with his Mum sounds pretty pathetic and shouldn’t be too hard to intimidate.

Edit to say as badnewz says if you can’t follow up the threats probably aren’t a good idea….

The problem with confronting them and laying down the law, is once you are gone, unless you can make regular check-ups, they are going to take it out on the vulnerable lady (this is how scumbags operate – they build up their hatred for the weakest).

+1 be careful.

As badnewz really. Are you in contact with her family? Visit when you can and let the dirtbags know you will be.

Other than that you’re pretty limited.

We’re in contact with her brother and sis-in-law but they are the Oz family. She’s ironically closer to them than her UK family.

If it’s as you put it then it’s text-book anti-social behaviour. Have you thought about calling the police?

there’s no way of proving it unfortunately.

Are there any local charities that do visiting or something similar?

Hmm. Hadn’t thought of that – I’ll look into it.

God that is so close to home I had to read your post twice to ensure you are not talking about my family home. I grew up in exactly the same four house terrace with a central passageway to get the coal and rubbish cart in , shared central yard and rights of access over the middle two gardens. A recipe for a strong supportive micro community, or a bitter simmering feud .
Luckily for me I grew up in the micro community unluckily for my mum and dad who have one of the center houses agacent to the passage (” entry” it’s called round here) the other side of the passage moved away and rented to a succession of chavs . It drove my mum to distraction and five years keeping all her back curtains drawn and my dad to plans to recreate the Berlin Wall in the back yard.

My glib answer to your problem would have been move but to your utter credit your concern is for Anne who you leave behind. The options are not that appealing police or council involvement may be as likely to fuel hostility as end it , if you use that route I would make it clear and have them be open that the complaint comes from you not Anne. Other neighbours and the new occupant of your house may step in to the roll you have played. Keep visiting Anne if you are local.

My in laws have serious issues with their neighbours (who are their grandchildren believe it or not) we are at the stage where the police are involved but truth be known there really isn’t anything that can be done.
Bricks through the windows, pond filled with fairy liquid (there is about 50k’s worth of koi in there) sky being illegally tapped into etc, constant shite that’s ruining their lives.
Our final resort is CCTV and hope they do something illegal on camera.

Are you selling your house or renting it out? Either way, could you let the new owners/occupiers know about Anne, that you liked to look after her. They might help out in the same way, and you could give them your mobile number so they can get in contact with you if there are any problems? I think you’re wonderful, btw.

House is sold but to my F-in-law. We’ll still be close, though obviously we don’t want to jeopardise the rental by putting conditions on it or suggesting there is a problem with the neighbours. We will definitely be giving them the mobile number though

If you’ve sold the house to your missus’ dad, wouldn’t he pick up the baton of keeping the bully at bay? I appreciate you might not wanna trouble him with it.
Bombers? You could then hang them in his garden of crap to remind him your watching? 😈
RM.

Sold to F in Law and rental – I assume he’s using it as an investment rather than living there? If he gets decent tenants in, they will leave after 6 months because of the chavs. He will be constantly spending time seeking new tenants. If he gets chavs in as tenants, Anne’s problems are doubled.

There’s sweet FA you can do about the chavs (are they owners or renters?) and that type of behaviour always seems to win. I wouldn’t have sold that situation onto a family member though…

having har r-soles next door you have my sympathy

? could you (unseen etc) stick a cctv on the corridor/her front garden

FinLaw is fully aware and to be honest, their nastiness doesn’t affect our house or us (except the pee incident). I don’t see it affecting tenants.

It’s our concern for Anne that is the issue.

What’s Anne’s other contact points locally: church, university alumni, social groups? Does she lunch with a church group, say. Sounds like her academic stuff may resonate with the newbie neighbour. Have a departure event/yard sale and make sure they are together in their us against them setting.
I always wonder if there is some learning difficulties with a grown up son living with mother. Whether he is he on the spectrum and in the sights of local support, could be a safeguarding issue for those in his immediate environment; or the council needs to be aware of the threat to Anne if she is to live safely at home.

Why not have a chat to Paul. Tell him that you’d be grateful if he’d keep an eye on Anne for you once you’ve gone and that you’ll be calling in to visit her now & then to be sure she’s OK. Perhaps he could let you know then if anyone’s giving Anne any trouble ?

After all, she’s been like a mother to your family and you care a lot for her etc so you’d be happy to sort out any problems for her, whatever they may be

Who’s Anne?

If she’s the 70 year old neighbour then this ‘leaving a puddle at the end of the passageway’ is only to be expected 🙂

but the other night about 7pm he decided he needed to drill four holes in the post box using a wooden drill bit (after 4 hours of him drilling other things). 7pm is when we put our lad to sleep and so i politely asked him to wait. He completely ignored me and carried on drilling.

To play devils advocate if a neighbour asked me to stop drilling at 7pm then I’d say it was rather unreasonable. Should he take a day off work so his drilling suits your lifestyle.

Paul and Linda don’t sound like very nice people though.

Get him on his own and threaten him So bully the bully?

you’re right Gary, but this was at the end of 4 hours of drilling. We needed a break for half an hour to get our lad down is all – once he was down then fine, drill away. At the very least, turn to look at me when I ask the question.

And he was using a wood bit to go through plate metal.

If you know a few lads who can be or even just look as if they can be a bit “handy” who can turn up mob handed and get them to have a “word” with the mother and the **** son and explain the consequences of their actions should anything happen to your lovely neighbour….

Far more effective than getting the authorities involved with this type of chav scum..

this was at the end of 4 hours of drilling

ah right, fair enough didn’t realise it was 4 hours constant drilling – channel tunnel? 🙂

I always wonder if there is some learning difficulties with a grown up son living with mother. Whether he is he on the spectrum and in the sights of local support, could be a safeguarding issue for those in his immediate environment; or the council needs to be aware of the threat to Anne if she is to live safely at home.

Slight overreaction.

ah right, fair enough didn’t realise it was 4 hours constant drilling – channel tunnel?

ever tried drilling plate metal with a wood bit? it was like a tic tac when i talked to him.

it’s bin day tomorrow. Would moving his bin waaaaaaaaaaaaaay up the road be wrong?

Also, i know that I’ll be up and the bin men will have been super early – with enough time for me to put all his ‘cuttings’ in it for his collection before he sees it.

Or should i fill his bin so much that the bin men won’t take it because the bin is slightly open…..and then stick a flower in the top?

…or you could off them both and pop them in the bin.

I don’t know how to break into their house

No bin out. Lights still on. Bedtime.