How do you improve your self confidence? Are there any good books or online tutorials? This is for my teenage son who is a good diver, he has competed at junior elite level. Last night we had a meeting with his coach, just an update on how he’s doing. Her main point was that technically he can do the dives but that a lack of belief sometimes stops him from doing them as well as he can. We’ve talked a bit about the chimp paradox so that’s something he’s working on but I think whilst the two things are related they are different beasts if you like. He’s not blessed with super confident parents so there’s probably a bit of us at fault but we do try to give him lots of encouragement and positive feedback. What else can we do?

Through some sort of work program my partner had good results from the Dale Carnegie stuff. A few of her colleagues had results/improvement, too.

Edit : It’s a bit business orientated, as I understand it, but as above, a few of them got some out of work benefits. I guess it’s how you apply what you learn.

Junior’s skiing performance improved (to the the point of being an age-group national champion) thanks to music. Regular live performances gave his confidence a boost and helped him turn stress to his advantage rather than going to pieces.

Having competed in motorsort amongst other things I tried to explain a state of “positive stress”, the music was the way he found out how to get there. “positive stress” is when everything works beter because you’re stressed – better concentration, faster reflexes, more powerfull muscles, better cordination. It’s being fired up and ready to go but with the fear part under control.

So I suggest music, theatre or anything that’s put him in a situation where he has to perform in front of an audience.

DofE worked well for my kids. then they both spent time as venture scout leaders.

and sport. team sport.

If they are junior elite can the coach recommend any specialist psychologists for support?

teenage sons here, hormones and confidence and a lot going on….. Looking at his mates, those who have scored with the fairer sex seem to be more sorted 🙂

Chimp Paradox is good as it explains the human psychology aspects quite simply and it’s use is being expanded into business and other areas. My wife has used it for people who suffer from social anxiety and has discussed this with Steve’s people.
Perhaps, through the coach / sports governing body you may be able to access other specialists as it’s now recognised as a key factor for good elite sport performance?
Google “flow and sports performance” and the concept of getting ‘in the zone’ through a range of techniques – a lot of this relates to extreme sports, but increasing used in the mainstream

Cider.

Tena Lady pants.

Give you all day confidence apparently.

A friend, Tom Foxley, runs a mindset coaching business, mainly aimed at Crossfit, but applicable to any sport. He does online mindset coaching aimed at improving self talk. FB page. Podcast.

Might be worth getting in touch and asking if he can help. Of the people I know who have used this, they all rave about the coaching.

Is there a local friendly sports psychologist? Or one attached to the program?

Mrs Dubs hockey team had one (until she moved to New Zealand to work on their Olympic program) and it made a big difference to the team when they had to deal with some significant issues.

This is something I’m trying to get my head round for our wee one in future years.

I think a big thing is constant encouragement – albeit not over the top, just subtle to reinforce the belief in themselves and let them believe they are good enough – no such thing as “I can’t” or “Yeah but…”. Work (don’t beat) those kind of phrases out of their vocabulary. I’m often amazed by some people’s confidence at work and I think “How do you just get up and say that stuff?” even when it’s often wrong. They just have unfailing self belief. Needn’t be a vcase of “when I’m good enough I’ll do this dive” – Olympians don’t wait to be Olympic standard to perform, they constantly perform and get better. I’m sure I’ve heard that phrased better.

Anyway, we should ride some time!

As Ed said above, is their time/room in his life for another hobby that is less climactic/perfectionist?
I imagine that diving is especially hard for someone in your lads position, massive amount of preparation and big build up with one shot to get it right, aiming for perfection.

I think a lot of confidence can be gained from how parents conduct themselves and offspring feed off this ..
You have said that you are not overly confident yourself ..Im not in a position to offer any advice on that but whatever advice is given for your son try taking that on board yourselves ( and thats not meant in any way as a criticism ).
I’ve a Daughter of 25…and a son of 14 ..and the opposite problem in as much as they are at times too confident ..and I’ve really no idea where that came from.. 8)

this will do the trick…

oops just read its for your son, don’t worry kids these days are growing up faster (blame the internet)

I know you’ll struggle with time but lots of kids really come out a bit when they get involved in performing – acting etc. Being on a stage in front of an audience, appearing as a character/not yourself works for some.

Some useful tips in here that I have used in the past-
https://www.pinkbike.com/news/take-control-of-your-mind-and-push-your-personal-limits-abi-yoga-2016.html
Especially the part that tells you to trust that your body knows what to do after all the practise you’ve put it, so it’s time to calm your mind and let your body do it’s thing.

I think ton and Edukator have good advice here- confidence, at least for me anyway, came from doing and overcoming chalenging stuff..

Thanks for the replies. He doesn’t have any spare time for anything else, he currently trains 14 hours a week, hopefully that’s going up to 18 hours in January. He listens to podcasts so that’s a good idea, we can listen together on the way home from the pool and I’ll read the Abi Carver stuff too when I get a minute. I was pleased the other week when he told me about putting his inner chimp in a box during a competition. In the last three weeks he hasn’t beaten three boys who all medalled at the nationals in April so things like that should give him confidence.

Soon hopefully Jimmy.