….the Office Tw*t from wandering about while on his phone?

marbles, or BB pellets scattered in his path?

jump up punch them hard in the face remove phone from prone body stamp on phone.
Works best if you scream and look mental whilst doing it.
Dont forget to cry afterwards it will help at the court case

mobile or landline?

Arrange for him to be knee capped?

tie his laces together, move his phone other side of office then ring it? Much merriment.

Everytime he gets up to walk about. Go and sit in his chair and adjust it just very slightly. People hate this… trust me.

Chop his legs off.

Dry bumming. You know it makes sense…

mitch – I threatend you with that if I saw you in my garden again.

This morning I received a letter addressed to…

Barnsley Mitch
Yeti’s Shed
c/o TSY Manor

Said tactic clearly doesn’t always work!

Our office is constantly fully of “pacers” I actually had to be physically restrained due to my tendancy to pace up and down the office wearing down the carpet so I,m glad I,m off the project management now and no longer have to roam the office on the mobile….unless the call is “not for office ears” of course.

If it’s landline use a corded phone he can’t move far then.

Shoelaces +1

Attach his mobile phone to the desk using one of these

Bring the situation to a head.

I once worked in a very, very sterotyped office with German, Spanish and Brits.

One Brit, who go really cheesed with loud Germans, used to set his mobile ring to a well known hymn and then leave it lying on his desk and then ring himself rather a lot …………………

Dry bumming. You know it makes sense…

You can’t go round dry-bumming people willy-nilly. 🙁

+1 for adjusting their seat…. whack it down to the lowest height and if its got an adjustable thingy for the angle of the back… well thats gotta go right back too.

+2 for dry bumming (cos it made me laugh outloud for the first time today)

@tsy…. did you not read the thread about bike theft, now we all know your address!

If he bothers you that much you could always try a bit of good old fashioned bullying, as a general rule of thumb men really don’t like it when sisters/mums are mentioned in the same sentence as sex, go with that.

Take it off him.

Take out the sim card.

Eat it.

Let him have it back in a couple of days.

Aggggggh, he’s at it again and I’ve left the Bombers at home 👿

follow him around… REALLY closely… like almost sexual harrasment close…. right behind him, breathing on his neck, rub your body against his back.

keep doing this all day each time he wanders with his mobile. if that doesnt stop him then start whispering into his ear and the phone at the same time “i love the way you walk and talk, i’m glad you dont sit down and talk like the rest of the office….” and rub a hand gently down his chest.. slowwwwwly.

repeat until arrested/his mobile wanderings stop.

Place boxes of office supplies and bags etc in front of him as he wanders around

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxcwkJbC558[/video]

Jelly?