Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 52 total)
  • How much would you give as a wedding present?
  • demonracer
    Full Member

    One of my girlfriends friends is getting married soon and the invitation suggested cash would be a better option than a toaster or electric carving knife (although they would be happy with people just attending). So the question is how much is the ideal amount to give?

    Whathaveisaidnow
    Free Member

    Price of a nice 3 course meal, a glass of champers and a disco dance and some nibbles,….so about £60 round here….

    cynic-al
    Free Member

    what do you think?

    What do you feel comfortable with?

    chewkw
    Free Member

    In the far east everyone gives cash.

    I think the minimum should be the price of whatever meals they are serving.

    I have been invited to wedding too but I don’t feel like going …

    🙂

    davidtaylforth
    Free Member

    Gave my mates seventy nine qwuid the other week on their wedding.

    demonracer
    Full Member

    I’m pretty sure we’re getting tea and cake and then hog roast a doughnuts later … Should be a pretty tasty day but I’d feel a bit stingy giving them £20. My other half would much rather we buy them a gift but I’m not sure if they have something in mind to spend the cash on.

    footflaps
    Full Member

    Personally I think it depends on their means, if they’re young and just starting out I’d be a lot more generous than if they’re already quite comfortable. I got married quite late (40s) so we just asked guests to make a donation to charity if they wanted to, as we felt it would be inappropriate to ask for gifts in our circumstances (both comfortably off with two sets of cooking paraphernalia etc).

    demonracer
    Full Member

    They are mid 20s but have lived together for a couple of years and own their own home so they have everything they really need, I’d estimate their joint income at 40-50k. I’m thinking maybe the price of a nice meal out and then hopefully they will spend it on something interesting.

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    If you’re not happy with cash, then buy them something to do together.

    seosamh77
    Free Member

    50 quid or so is what I use do on a present.

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    it’s a very personal thing, also depends on how well you know them. If you don’t want to do cash something that means something as a gift rather than just something to start life with.

    DrJ
    Full Member

    Madness. Two people decide to do something because it makes them happy, and others give them money? Weird.

    robdob
    Free Member

    I can’t understand people’s thinking when they buy gifts when cash is requested. Surely buying them a gift in those circumstances means you will be certain of getting them a present they don’t want….

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    Sometimes a very personal gift means more than money, there is no obligation to do either, the clue is in the word gift. If any of my friends asked for cash over gifts and I gave a personal gift I don’t think they would be upset.

    ebennett
    Full Member

    I’d say about £50 depending on how well you know them and if you’re there all day or evening only. I always prefer when people ask for cash, makes life so much easier!

    keng38
    Free Member

    Off road segway experience for two.

    No brainer 🙂

    njee20
    Free Member

    We got married last month, asked for Trailfinders vouchers, a few close friends said they wanted to get us physical presents, and we got some lovely things, which was great. Some people gave us cash, cash/voucher contributions varied from £30 for a couple, to >£100 for individual guests. Obviously that people chose to give anything is great, if the couple judge you because of the amount you give them they’re tossers!

    dave32
    Free Member

    We asked for Aussie and Thai money for our honeymoon, we’d been living together for 7 years and didn’t really need anything..we made a very small gift list for those that were uncomfortable with this, worked out well…

    Edric64
    Free Member

    I think its a bloody cheek when they ask for money .It comes across as come to our wedding do and can you pay for your meal

    DrJ
    Full Member

    We asked for Aussie and Thai money for our honeymoon, we’d been living together for 7 years and didn’t really need anything.

    So why did you ask for money? No, really, I’m not trying to get at you – I’m just mystified. My sister got married recently. She’d been living with her b/f for 10 years or so. She didn’t ask for, or expect, gifts, and certainly not money. I’d have been horrified if she had. (In fact I bought them a pair of rather fantastic espresso cups as a sort of token.)

    thestabiliser
    Free Member

    (In fact I bought them a pair of rather fantastic espresso cups as a sort of token.)

    That’s right, I remember seeing them on Ebay 😀

    DrJ
    Full Member

    🙂

    <checks e-bay>

    dave32
    Free Member

    Dr J…When I say we asked I prob worded that slightly wrong… we simply said that as we didn’t really need anything if anyone wanted to donate to our honeymoon then that would be more welcome than gifts we didn’t need or would never use..It’s obviously a touchy subject, but when you can come back a show people what you spent there money on (excursions etc) I think it justifies itself in a way.

    shermer75
    Free Member

    The price of a meal sounds like a pretty good yardstick to me 🙂

    jambalaya
    Free Member

    £50-100. £20 is an insult IMO, you’d be better off giving nothing. The higher figure I put is if you known them quite well. My benchmark for financial gifts is based on what I think it costs to invite me/us then upwards from there if I know the people well. Remember also you are giving as a couple, 2 people so even £50 is £25 each. We had a thread on how much people spend on a night out and plenty of people said around £100 😯 Why not give the same as a wedding gift, each ?

    It’s traditional in many cultures to give money in place of gifts, in some cultures a couple get both. The money and gifts are intended to help a young couple get a start in life.

    FWIW I was recently remarried and we got mostly money with a few gifts. My wife and I have pretty much all we need so aside from a few very specific and personal gifts money was best, for those who had traveled from the UK to France we suggested to them that their presence (given the cost of the trip and the time required 3-5 days) was more than enough.

    cb
    Full Member

    I went half way for a recent wedding and bought John Lewis vouchers. More ‘gifty’ than cash but gives them freedom to choose at their leisure.

    jolmes
    Free Member

    Just went to my other halves cousins wedding. The family is pretty close so as the wedding list had already been completed months ago, we went with vouchers and around £60 for them to convert into what foreign money they would need on their honeymoon, back packing around Malaysia for 3 weeks

    konabunny
    Free Member

    Pay at least the cost of your “plate” (cost of the venue).

    The sooner everyone just gives cash instead of tat gifts, the better

    schmiken
    Full Member

    We asked for money towards a tandem – the shop we bought it from had “gift vouchers” for varying amounts of money. People seemed fine with that, although we did get some small personal gifts too.

    ferrals
    Free Member

    When I got married a couple of years ago we had a john lewis gift list of the standard, cooking stuff, plates, towels etc. put a whole range of stuff at varying prices on. Couldn’t believe how generous many people were.

    4 people were absolute stinges though, 2 couples with the best paid jobs of all the guests(one earning a couple of hundred k a year in the city) clubbed together spending about £30 per couple, despite the fact they brought 4 kids with them too. I told the caterers to p!ss in their soup.

    We typically spend between 50-100 quid depending on how good friends they are and on what they are after. I’m more inclined to spend more on an actual gift than a cash donation – no logic, just you often see really cool things on gift lists.

    br
    Free Member

    tbh It really depends on your (both of you) relationship with the couple.

    If you are just ‘outsiders’, then £50 is fine. If the ‘girls’ are close, leave it up to them. If it’s you that is close with the bloke – be a bloke and just ring him up and say that your Misses wants to buy something, what do they need (give him a budget).

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    4 people were absolute stinges though, 2 couples with the best paid jobs of all the guests(one earning a couple of hundred k a year in the city) clubbed together spending about £30 per couple, despite the fact they brought 4 kids with them too. I told the caterers to p!ss in their soup.

    I hope not to be invited to a wedding where I will have my earnings and gift scrutinised. Perhaps you shouldn’t have invited them.

    footflaps
    Full Member

    4 people were absolute stinges though, 2 couples with the best paid jobs of all the guests(one earning a couple of hundred k a year in the city) clubbed together spending about £30 per couple, despite the fact they brought 4 kids with them too. I told the caterers to p!ss in their soup.

    You either invite them because you want the pleasure of their company, or you leave them off the list. Sounds like you only care about how much money they give you.

    zerogreg
    Free Member

    I’ve had a bad experience with this recently – our friends got married last year and they asked for money towards a honeymoon as they already had a house etc. I was happy to do this as they hadn’t been away as a couple due to certain circumstances, well imagine to my surprise that they actually never went on this honeymoon due to the bride being pregnant (which they knew about at time of asking) and pocketed the dollar! I was not amused at this and it still irks me to this day! If I had known this I would never have given them the money and instead bought them a gift for the baby! Now as they are quite close friends we have never said anything about it, but I kind of wish we had!

    Edric64
    Free Member

    Pay at least the cost of your “plate” (cost of the venue).

    Fine but the overprice crap food at my sisters wedding was 45 quid a head and worth about a third of that even allowing for caterers bringing it to the venue

    ferrals
    Free Member

    footflaps, mikewsmith,

    That was tongue in cheek – clearly we invited them becuase we wanted them there. I was just highlighting the variation in gift amounts – though we were a bit surprised as they were close relations, and my wife (before we were together) had spent hundreds at their weddings / been a bridesmaid etc.

    Edric64
    Free Member

    I did give my stepson cash towards his honeymoon though

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    You either invite them because you want the pleasure of their company, or you leave them off the list.

    Unless you have the smallest possible wedding, there will be some people there you don’t much like. A solid half of the guest-list at mine were friends and family of MrsDummy’s father. They disapproved of everything, including the presence of white people, music and booze, and made their disapproval very clear using elaborately-conceived gift-based insults and loads of side-eye.

    🙂

    convert
    Full Member

    Three things that are very outmoded in a modern wedding imo:-

    1. Someone else other than the bride and groom paying for it.
    2. Guests who are there because you feel you have to invite them.
    3. Gifts in general and requests for money in particular.

    Lastly, lavish weddings(especially beyond the bride and groom’s means) = trash

    ads678
    Full Member

    When I got married about 3 years ago we asked* for cash/vouchers to buy new camping equipment! We got amounts ranging from £10-£200 pound. I was just happy that people wanted to give something.

    *We didn’t really want presents as we’d been together for 19 years so had everytyhing, but people like giving wedding presents so we made sure there was a use for any gifts.

    If you like them £40-£50 is a great gift IMO, less is still ok though.

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