Hopefully someone here has the prior experience needed to answer this…

Looking at renting a SWB VW Crew van to take 5 of us up to Fort Bill for the World Cup (and my stag do) in a couple of weeks.

What are the chances of us fitting 5 bikes in the back? Slim/Good? Or would we be better off with a bigger/less posh van?

Presume you mean a T5 kombi ?
Easy with front wheels off. No chance with them on

Kombi, yeah that’s the badger – much better google results with that 😉

Cheers, looks promising – should be a goer!

What yak said.
I get 4 to fit easily in mine with the front wheels off.

If the van has the split rear seat, park the single one somewhere for the weekend and that opens up even more room

Easy with the wheels off.

I can squeeze 8/9 in my LWB Kombi with the front wheels off. The SWB isn’t much smaller, 4 less should be comfortable.

Got six bikes and camping gear in the back of mine for a trip to the Alps a couple of years ago. Wheels off, bikes in up, down, forwards, backwards etc to get the best fit.

If the van has the split rear seat, park the single one somewhere for the weekend and that opens up even more room

This is only good advice you’re not one of the two sharing the front double seat for a long road trip.