Viewing 40 posts - 81 through 120 (of 129 total)
  • How good is having babies?
  • chakaping
    Free Member

    Agree with those saying babies are boring, but mine came three months early and it nearly went very wrong – so I was quite happy to be bored.

    ransos
    Free Member

    “”Fatherhood: The Truth”? Excellent book. Highly recommended for new/recent dads.

    Though “Crass, misogynistic, charmless” according to some of the 1-star reviews on Amazon”

    I thought it was brilliant, and so did my wife. Classic lines like “as I write this, I realise that in the last 20 minutes, I’ve wiped three arses, only one of which is my own”.

    yetidave
    Free Member

    I’m 36, wife 34, married 8yrs, together 11, oldest 4 youngest 19mths. Find myself agreeing with most on this thread looking back at the last month or so! what a rollercoaster life can be.

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    I thought it was brilliant, and so did my wife.

    Me too. I’ve recommended it to several couples.

    I was kind of surprised at the (minority) bad reviews on Amazon. Though I noticed that at least some were from women who bought the book for their husband, but read it first to make sure it was okay! 😯

    Janesy
    Free Member

    The Southern Yeti
    mastiles_fanylion

    Thanks 🙂

    chomp
    Free Member

    first @ 30, second @ 33 (wife was 26 and 29), two boys now 3 and 5

    As has already been said, it’s the best/hardest thing in the world.

    Personally I loved the first 18 months, especially the midnight/early morning feeds as it was just me and my son. If the wife did the feed he was fed, winded, changed and asleep in 15 – 20 mins. With me it took about 1.5 hours as I would just sit there looking at them and cuddling/soothing/stroking his head/toes/fingers etc in wonder at how small/awesome they are.

    Now they’re 3 and 5 it’s even more fun, as I’m able to play lego, starwars, buy lots of toys I like the look of etc. Eldest is somewhat of a boffin for his age and I’m constantly amazed with the things he comes out with (some quite profound, some ridiculous).

    Recent highlight are both deciding that their knobs are lazers when in the bath, and their bums are where the missiles come from and spending bath time standing up shooting me (odd but well funny), and the fact that the 5yo is constantly amazed by daddy’s big hairy testicles which always makes me laugh if we’re in a public toilet and he starts singing his big hairy testicle song. Apparantly his testicles are staying put!

    5yo also told me about a girl he really likes at school, and he’s worried about telling her incase she laughs at him. Bloody broke my heart. I also now cry at anything on tv/film which involves a parent and child being in some horrible situation.

    I wouldn’t change anything for the world, and while we’re financially far worse off than we were, our life is a million times richer for it

    sugdenr
    Free Member

    Gina Ford – Contented Baby : that evil woman advised me to train my little one using controlled crying. Half an hour of trying that 7 years ago and I still feel guilty about it.

    Developed my own humane system instead that didnt involve controlled torture.

    SaxonRider
    Full Member

    We had our first when I was 26 and our most recent just the other day (I’m 39). In spite of feeling tormented by my oldest at times, when my kids are at their best, there is no beating the experience of parenthood.

    sharkbait
    Free Member

    I have 3 girls (eldest 11 and two 9 years old) – absolutely nothing better than getting a hug off your kid after (you let them) beat you at mario kart.
    One interesting fact is that having kids makes you drive (real cars) slower and take less risks – that’s got to be a good thing.

    yetidave
    Free Member

    sugdenr – Contented baby book is indeed the work of the devil. if you don’t do what it says you’re going to hell!

    As soon as they start comunicating with you, even if its just responding to your voice its great. When they start arguing with you in ways you just cannot comprehend and end up loosing the argument its still great. When they can outride all the older kids on the street at four its just perfect. 😉

    ransos
    Free Member

    A friend who is a new parent had this conversation with his wife:

    “What shall we do about our sex life?”
    “Remember it”

    sugdenr
    Free Member

    jansey

    4 years trying, then finally got ‘asssited fertilisation’ help, 1 yr of that ignominity (abandon all sensibilities ye who want to be parents) and 9 months of not breathing out or daring to be proud incase another miscarriage. By birth time the accumunated stress meant our marriage was very nearly finished. After all that a congenital kidney defect at birth to contend with – that took 3 years and 55 courses of antibiotics to diagnose. And I feel like the luckiest man alive.

    In the middle of trying to conceive everyone expects you to keep your spirits up – “How are you bearing up” they ask. Well I finally got the mental courage to accept that “Nothing has changed, its all still **** and s**t, nothing is fine, but thanks for asking just dont expect me to smile politely and make happy noises”.

    Hang in there, its your own pain, we cant help but we do understand, most people have a story to tell behind the veneer of perfectness and joviality.

    Ro5ey
    Free Member

    I’m with chomp on enjoying little babies.

    I miss middle of the night feeds. It was hard work at first, with our first, but got easier and with our second child is was always a joy.

    I just had the mind set that in years to come, when the not so young kids have worries or problems. I’ll wish that I could make it all better with a warm bottle of milk and a nice cuddle.

    mattjg
    Free Member

    45 yrs, 19 yrs, 7 month old daughter

    For me it’s good, very good, I can no more imagine being without her than I can my own head. But you have to be ready. If you weren’t ready it could be horrendous, better to wait.

    There’s a Bill Murray line in “Lost in Translation” along the lines of “Your children are the most amazing people you will ever meet”.

    DavidFelt
    Free Member

    chomp – Member
    first @ 30, second @ 33 (wife was 26 and 29), two boys now 3 and 5

    As has already been said, it’s the best/hardest thing in the world.

    Personally I loved the first 18 months, especially the midnight/early morning feeds as it was just me and my son. If the wife did the feed he was fed, winded, changed and asleep in 15 – 20 mins. With me it took about 1.5 hours as I would just sit there looking at them and cuddling/soothing/stroking his head/toes/fingers etc in wonder at how small/awesome they are.

    Now they’re 3 and 5 it’s even more fun, as I’m able to play lego, starwars, buy lots of toys I like the look of etc. Eldest is somewhat of a boffin for his age and I’m constantly amazed with the things he comes out with (some quite profound, some ridiculous).

    Recent highlight are both deciding that their knobs are lazers when in the bath, and their bums are where the missiles come from and spending bath time standing up shooting me (odd but well funny), and the fact that the 5yo is constantly amazed by daddy’s big hairy testicles which always makes me laugh if we’re in a public toilet and he starts singing his big hairy testicle song. Apparantly his testicles are staying put!

    5yo also told me about a girl he really likes at school, and he’s worried about telling her incase she laughs at him. Bloody broke my heart. I also now cry at anything on tv/film which involves a parent and child being in some horrible situation.

    I wouldn’t change anything for the world, and while we’re financially far worse off than we were, our life is a million times richer for it.

    A perfect post summing it up brilliantly!

    I’m 30 just turned, mum is a year younger and our first born Seth is 9 weeks old. After our first pregnancy ended with (an admittedly very early but devastating none the less) miscarriage, we tried again and alas, things still weren’t easy. The birth was extremely stressful for me (the missus handled it superbly), with worries about his heart rate and blood oxygenation, followed by failed suction and forceps leading to a caesarian section. Sitting in the operating room knowing the two most precious things in the world are at the mercy of the doctor at the other end of the table is a very very sobering time, but the relief upon hearing him cry and the midwife telling us we had a healthy baby boy was something I will never forget.

    Now he is 9 weeks and life has settled down into our new routine, I’m faced with the dreadful realisation that due to the caesarian we cannot try for another for a year! I really would have another tomorrow if we could (I ‘think’ she feels the same! haha).

    I work full time, and I realise that my other half does all the hard work, but neither of us have felt like its been a strain, he is a joy to behold and communicating with him in goo’s and gaa’s and ooh’s and aah’s is to date the most precious time I can think to spend. His little smiles and laughs are something that a non parent can ever understand. We made him, and my god we’re proud of him!

    I honestly could not recommend parenthood enough, I’m just so disappointed we waited so long (I was waiting until I felt patient enough and less self centered, but that just comes anyway the minute you hold them for the first time)!

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    Jeff Atwood over at codinghorror (usually a geek blog) posted some lovely thoughts about his kids the other day.

    Including this chart:

    miketually
    Free Member

    Our two are 8 and 6 (next week). We were aged 26 and had been together for 12 years (married for 4) when the first was born.

    I think the posts above pretty much sum up parenthood: equal measures amazing and bloody frustrating.

    GENESIS_IO_2002
    Free Member

    David Felt – Good to hear that you get through the trials and tribulations.
    I was 29 and 32 when I had mine, the ex was 28 and 31. I think that we would question having a second if I had my second first, if you know what I mean.
    My second was born with a cleft palate (no hair lip tho), we had endless nights worrying about her when she spent 3 weeks in SCBU. But you adapt to whatever is thrown at you including outtung 2 tubes down each nostril, one for feeding and one to keep her airway open and we had to do this for 3 to 4 months. She has taken every operation in her stride and she had 5 by the time she was 5 years old. She was born with Pierre Robin sequence.
    She is now 9 and she is perfect. Like someone said on here you get “those moments” every day that you see them and that is what makes it worth while and the negatives just ebb away.
    My 12 year old is a fantastic boy (but i would say that) 🙂

    headfirst
    Free Member

    I’m already starting to feel sad about my eldest daughter heading off to university next year 🙁 She’ll be 18 the day before my 40th birthday in December.

    How time flies…

    alpin
    Free Member

    what a heart warming thread….

    been with the GF for ten years and i used to be all for the idea of having kiddies. then i witnessed first hand the stress and realities of having a little’un when our best friends got employed as a baby carrier.

    the GF sister and now her best mate each have one. cue baby parties (WTF…. kid aint ever going to remember it – seems t me more like an indulgence for the parents), coo-ing grandparents, baby talk about prams (the friend is really into her prams- i think has more to do with one-upmanship, she also drives a BMW), discussion about child care places… arrgh… it’s soo boring.

    i avoid going gathering now when i know one of the new mothers is going to be there as i can’t be done with all the other women in the room wanting to hold the baby and walk round in the middle of the room saying “abboobubaobu, yeah. awww. abboboo. ah….. they opened their eyes!”. yeah… stop spitting in its face then!

    i’m not against kids per se. i can picture the GF and i having one, just not now. maybe a in a few years time when the GF is a bit more settled in her work and built up some experience.

    it’s the whole sideshow to having a baby that i’m not keen on.

    then there is the added worry of schooling. i wouldn’t want to send my child through the german school system. i find it far too brutal and unfair.

    and i still this this niggle in the back of my mind regarding the state of the world in 20, 30 years time and whether i’d want to be living in it.

    and i’d have a lot less time for me.

    RichPenny
    Free Member

    Been with my wife about 18 months, our daughter is now 5 months. I’m 34.

    Have definitely enjoyed it much more since Liliana has become more resposive, and can’t wait until she’s running around going mental 🙂 I definitely wasn’t a love at fist sight parent – I think my concern was more for my wife in those early weeks as she struggled to look after herself. Absolutely love her to bits now, and summoning up her smiley face in my mind leads to a massive grin and/or watery eyes.

    We had a home birth and my wife refused all pain relief as she found it easier. We did leave a window open though, and screams were heard 😯

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    it’s the whole sideshow to having a baby that i’m not keen on.

    I think most people (men at least) find it fairly nauseating.
    Till they have one of their own and then it all changes. 😀

    mattjg
    Free Member

    and i still this this niggle in the back of my mind regarding the state of the world in 20, 30 years time and whether i’d want to be living in it.

    it’s been that way since the dawn of time

    Clong
    Free Member

    When my 2 year old daughter waddles into the bedroom, climbs up into the bed beside me and snuggles up close. If i doze off, she will gently stroke my face, where i open my eyes to see her staring at my face.

    ncfenwick
    Free Member

    Our little girl is a month old now, loving every minute. Don’t know how it was for the Mrs but I had a banging headache all through the labour.

    Torminalis
    Free Member

    Me and the Mrs were discussing whether or not we wanted to have kids. We have decided that we do not want any.

    If anyone wants a 2 year old and a 5 year old drop me a line. Email in profile.

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    The 5 year old? Has it got any experience of laying patios?

    molgrips
    Free Member

    and i still this this niggle in the back of my mind regarding the state of the world in 20, 30 years time and whether i’d want to be living in it.

    I’m going to do my best to bring up to responsible intelligent kids – that way they might make a positive contribution to the world that could outweigh their negative impact due to the resources they’ll consume.

    Torminalis
    Free Member

    The only thing the 5 year old has experience of laying is cables I’m afraid.

    RichPenny
    Free Member

    I’m going to do my best to bring up to responsible intelligent kids

    Me too dude 🙂 Think it’s going well so far…

    molgrips
    Free Member

    That’s a skinny looking nipper, how old is s/he?

    ton
    Full Member

    my son his 20, and has a 2 yr old daughter. i was 26 when he was born.
    my daughter is 14 going on 21……….a proper nightmare 😉

    if my good lady would agree, i would like us to try for another child.
    i am 45 and my wife is 47………..she reckons she is too old. 🙁

    RichPenny
    Free Member

    She’s about 2 months there. Long and thin rather than porky like me 🙂

    allmountainventure
    Free Member

    We have a 3 year old girl and a boy due any day now. Possibly going to have a home birth this time.

    Never realised what a life changer it would be becoming a parent; in a good way.

    tails
    Free Member

    No kids but I do enjoy watching my friends child go from a bump to a little girl who can wriggle, smile, laugh and kind of dance!

    A friend sent me this the last pair are like a comedy duo – http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_YQpbzQ6gzs

    yunki
    Free Member

    mrblobby
    Free Member

    Jansey, fourth time was lucky for us, hope it is for you too. It’s an awful thing to have to go through.

    Luckily now hoping having a baby is ace as mrs blobby only has four months to go. Having read these posts i can’t wait 🙂 We’re both late 30’s and been together for 8 years,

    emma82
    Free Member

    Rich that is the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen 🙂 Is it bad that I knew she was a girl (following molgrips ‘s/he’ question) cuz I remember your thread when she arrived 😀

    I can’t wait to have babies, getting the question a lot having recently got married. Have even had one person blatantly go ‘I assume that’s why you got married, to have a baby’ – wtf? how rude. If I’m caught eating a chocolate bar before 10.00 a.m. (common occurrence anyway) I must be pregnant, if I say ‘ooohhhhhh I really fancy X for tea’ I must therefore be pregnant. It’s only been 10 weeks today since we got hitched and to be honest I’m exhausted by all the questions and am on the verge of being quite truthful and screaming ‘TWO EFFING YEARS DOWN THE LINE NOTHING SO ITS HARDLY LIKELY TO HAPPEN JUST BECAUSE WE GOT MARRIED F.OFF’. However, I know that is unreasonable because people are just excited, babies make people happy and I seem to know some stupidly fertile people :/ Anyway, been referred for poking/prodding now though so fingers crossed this time next year….. 🙂

    chakaping
    Free Member

    What did you do to startle that poor baby Rich?

    If we’re posting cute kiddie pics, this is from when mine was a year old…

    Mugboo
    Full Member

    I got married at 37. Three weeks before our wedding my wife dropped the bombshell that contrary to all previous conversations she now wanted a baby.

    We still got married but the next 12 months was dodgy as I struggled to bring my selfish (& defo feeling a little tricked) male brain round to the idea of a child. Eventually I took myself of to see a counciller before I ruined my marriage.

    Fast forward to now and I sit here typing with my 11 month old son having his pre bedtime bottle.

    It is without any shadow of a doubt THE MOST WONDERFUL thing I have ever done. And to think the wife didn’t want him (or at least that’s what I’ll tell him 😉 )

    Glad I waited till I was nearly 40 though. Financially stable and happy with a couple of pints instead of a skinfull! Still riding my bike and building trails & although I don’t ride as often, it turns out I don’t care.

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