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How do you deal with stress?

23 posts & 20 voices | Started 2 years ago by jabbathehut | Latest reply from tron

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jabbathehut - Member

Just wondering how you all deal with stress.

I work in a job that i like but it takes me away from home for about 6 weeks at a time. I get very homesick and miss my family but i know im in a decent job getting experience for the future which in my line of work is essential. But sometimes i feel like the whole world is on my shoulders. being away, working my ass off with hardly any time off to enjoy the things i love.

What gets me through it the hope that this is just temporary and im supporting my family. But that only goes so far..

So how do u all do it??

Posted 2 years ago #
Scienceofficer - Member

What gets me through it the hope that this is just temporary

Be careful with this. IME unless you actively prevent it, it becomes your way of life, and that is very bad.

Fortunately, I was made redundant, and that put paid to that, because I was unlikely to have walked away from the salary.

Posted 2 years ago #
Garry_Lager - Member

I can deal with the straightforward stress of my job quite easily and actually find it essential - I love what I do but I can be a bit lazy, relative to my competitors. I need the stress to get me off my aris and start getting things done. So I see it in a positive light as far as that goes.

OTOH, I had an experience a couple of years back with an employee harrassing me that absolutely knocked me for six. Found the stress unbearable at times because there was no simple way for me to deal with it or make it go away. Seriously thought about counselling but swerved it in the end - the issue's gone away now.

I guess it comes down to what you can control - you can eaily respond to some stresses and take charge of them and make them work for you. Others can seem out of your hands and really get you down. Maybe a good counseller gives you ways of taking control in these situations?

Posted 2 years ago #
jabbathehut - Member

Right now im not dealing with it well, im just sick of waking up in the morning knowing how hard the day is going to be. I was talking it through with the misses last night and i have decided to quit at the end of the month. ill work the bills out later but nothing is worth being this miserable for

Posted 2 years ago #
jca - Member

I thought I could just deal with it by ignoring it (while trying do the work of >2 people for over 3 years). Unsurprisingly, I was wrong. Now things have got messy. Don't make my mistake - make sure you address it through your HR/occupational health people. You don't need to quit your job to sort it out - our entire group is being restructured to reduce my workload, with 8 other people gaining additional responsibilities to try to reduce my workload to that of 1 person. I never thought they would go to such lengths, but your employer had a duty of care to you. Don't just assume you have to quit your job, so talk to them while your still sane...

Posted 2 years ago #
jabbathehut - Member

Unfortunately i dont have an HR/occupational health outfit who care very much. We are a small outfit that manufacture drill pipe for oil platforms and i am in a department of 3 guys that travel the globe checking with clients for inspections.

At the moment its really bad. Been waking up dreading the day and sometimes just being unable to cope with anything. And trust me thats not my normal nature. I very rarely get down but when i have to walk away from conversations cos i feel like i want to cry then i know there is something very wrong..

Posted 2 years ago #
GJP - Member

jabbathehut - I would suggest that you go and visit your GP and talk things through with them. Your last post suggests that you may be suffering from Depression rather than purely the symptoms of transient stress etc.

Posted 2 years ago #
grittyshaker - Member

Please see your GP jabbathehut. I wish you all the best.

Posted 2 years ago #
Surf-Mat - Member

Exercise - lots of it. Helped immensely when we lost a baby at 37 weeks in 2007. If anyone was vulnerable to depression, we were yet we both ran, cycled and circuit trained our butts off - really helped as did our lovely dog.

However if you can't fit it in, it might be tough. Sounds like circumstances need to change JtH

Posted 2 years ago #
stratobiker - Member

Right now im not dealing with it well, im just sick of waking up in the morning knowing how hard the day is going to be. I was talking it through with the misses last night and i have decided to quit at the end of the month. ill work the bills out later but nothing is worth being this miserable for

I hope you mean this month, April.
Good choice. Very good choice.

SB

Posted 2 years ago #
shooterman - Member

I think they key word is coping. Sometimes you have so m uch going on it simply overwhelms the resources you have for coping with pressure. If there's too much to cope with, get out asap.

Posted 2 years ago #
stanley - Member

Jabba,
do something about this asap. Totally agree with GJP

I ignored stress (work and home) for too long. Used to thrive on it to some degree, then a combination of events just became too much. I ignored those feelings of being unable to cope and often wanting to just crawl into a dark corner to hide and cry.
I knew things were getting out of hand, I was not thinking rationally and things were getting out of all proportion.
Kept my problems hidden for too long. Things got out of hand towards the end of last year and I suddenly couldn't continue. Totally lost the will to live.
Been off work now since the beginning of this year with no realistic prospect of returning. Relying on statutory sick pay isn't much fun but I have at least walked away with my life intact.
Can see light at the end of the tunnel now and have new plans for the future but it has been a very rough six months and I guess it will be difficult for the foreseeable future.

I really feel that this could have been avoided if I had sought help sooner. Once I had aamitted there was a problem and asked for help, I was amazed at how understanding and helpful so many people were.

First stop is your GP

Posted 2 years ago #
zaskar - Inactive

Laughter-dvd, mp3s, movies,
Goals,
Riding,
Friends really help,
Find a local riding club etc.

PSP?! and loads of games.

Phone call to loved ones?

Posted 2 years ago #
chewkw - Member

If you feel the job is affecting you badly then stick with it for a while to see if it goes away, otherwise it's better to move on to another job and do not put your health/mind at risk or your family into the same stressful situation as you are. i.e. if you are not happy they are not too. Not worth the money to be frank. Earn less and be happy which is far better. oh ya ... finishing ... if that's possible on oil platform?

Posted 2 years ago #
armchairbiker - Member

hmmm. timely post - i tend to live off the stress of jobs. Though current position is driving me over that edge - especially as the co has people fully booked out and there's little support for what I do

I will give it a month to sort out, including a few suggestions to my boss. Otherwise I'm abroad to set up a MTB company - what better incentive to go **** it.

Posted 2 years ago #
Kenny Senior - Member

I have just started a 'guided self help' course, which appears to be a sort of basic CBT (although still with a therapist), having been referred by my GP. I must admit that I found the first session extremely draining, and I'm quite apprehensive about what's to come, but I do feel that at long last there is hope of resolving a problem (emotional retardedness rather than stress in my case) that has blighted me since childhood. Nothing to lose really is there.

Posted 2 years ago #
NZCol - Member

We have a rule in the house. Should you require to vent some stress, particularly on work related matters you are permitted a 5 minute period. During this period you are required to stand on a chair in the kitchen using a kitchen implement as a microphone. Your rant/complaint/issues will then be heard. Swearing profusely is permitted. Management will then assess how serious your complaints are and deal with them as required. My wife has insisted I get a new job or change careers or shut my company down. This is now a non-negotiable situation caused by exceeding the "10 strikes and your ooooot rule" where each rant is on the same topic.
BUt in all seriousness when things get to the level you want to hide then you need to seek some profesisonal help or try the above as its at least free and easy. Good luck, life is too short to be stressed and worried about jobs particularly.

Posted 2 years ago #
transporter13 - Member

what is stress?

surely if anything stresses you out, its not worth doing?

Posted 2 years ago #
crikey - Member

+1 for the depression rather than stress.

It's far easier to assume that external things, job, lifestyle, relationships are the cause of your feelings, and a lot more difficult to see that it's you and the way you are thinking that is the problem.

Go see your GP, be honest and if you are offered help whether talking therapy or medication, take it.

Above all, do something now while you realise you have a problem, or the choices you make while feeling like this will have a profound and often destructive effect on the rest of your life and the people in it.

Posted 2 years ago #
brooess - Member

If you are or are thinking about breaking down in tears, I think that's a signal that you need to take positive action.
Exercise/writing a list of things you enjoy and making sure you do at least one of them every day of the week can be helpful in getting you through. But it may not necessarily solve the problem.

If you go to see your GP it's very possible he'll give you time off, which IME can invaluable in giving you a break, time to think things through and make decisions about your future
You may also want to consider some personal reading - self help stuff or even a counsellor.
I have a thoroughly manipulative boss at work, and nearly lost it last week. A single session with a counsellor and reading a book on dealing with bullies has helped me understand there's actually a huge amount about the situation that's within my control.
Hope this helps

Posted 2 years ago #
jabbathehut - Member

Thanks for all the replies guys, NZ Col i love the chair idea. I might try and implement that in my house although i dont think i could make my misses come off after 5 minutes. If she has a bee in her bonnet then she can go on.

Heading home tomorrow and not coming back. As soon as i made the decision in my head i was a hundred times happier.

Posted 2 years ago #
Penrod Pooch - Member

Running helps me

and say to yourself, whats the worst that could happen

Also tell someone.

If I have too much work, I say so and say no to any more

Posted 2 years ago #
tron - Member

I don't get this. Person has horrible life - stressful job or nagging spouse, or both. Person becomes miserable. Do we remove the source of the horrible life, or do we diagnose depression and dole out some happy pills?

Given what I know about the oil industry (generally people work very hard and work until the job is done, even if that means going on for 36 hours, because liquid money is literally being peed up the wall), I suspect a change of job and a month of getting proper sleep would make a massive difference.

I would only go down the route of seeking a diagnosis if you remove the causes of stress and aren't seeing things straighten out. A "history of mental health problems" is not something you want to be branded with for no reason.

Posted 2 years ago #

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