I can never sleep after a night ride. So nowadays I don't even try for a couple of hours. You wind yourself down You will be requiring
1) Wine – 1 bottle, colour optional (depending on sexuality)
2) Cheese – assorted varieties. The bigger the selection, the better. (remember: there is no such thing as a cheese that is too smelly – there's no-one there to offend)
3) A decent DVD box set to work through – classic comedies are better as they split your drinking/cheese eating time into handy half-hour, bite-sized chunks. (less commitment, required you see) 30 Rock would be my present recommendation
And last, but certainly not least:
4) Porn – In this respect a fast broadband connection or a well-thumbed copy of Razzle will suffice equally. WARNING: DO NOT TRY waking the missus up with the fun-sized mars bar in the back routine. It isn't going to wash at 2 in the morning, I'm afraid
There you go. Sorted! Enjoy! 😀