I have met sharki a couple of times but I know I don't know him well enough to cast judgement on him. So until I do I give him the benefit of the doubt and as he has been generous towards me in the past I will be generous towards him

Bingo. Same here. Shane is a sound bloke and welcome at our house if he passes. I don't need to say any more.
🙂

@ crikey and aliegh, i know its not negativity cos i did the same as you two, all i'm saying is we're not all the same, sometimes the pills dont work.

it's not negativity

+1
It's not negativity; the problem is that people look and think 'Wow, cool, yeah man, just travelling about' without looking closer and seeing that dumping everything and running away is just another symptom.

Mental illness is illness, just like appendicitis, or pneumonia, and ignoring it doesn't make it all better. Being told that your choice is great, or cool, or courageous is the least helpful advice in this situation, and ignoring existing responsibilities makes things worse for other people too.

Walking away from your problems is the kind of behaviour we/us/you would condemn in any other situation, so why is it ok now?

Tough choices, but then no one ever said life would be fair.

edit: we're not all the same, true, but we all have similar responsibilities, to ourselves and others, and I can't see that the proposed lifestyle will make things better.

Like the 'things my dad says' thread; one piece of advice I got was " Stop being a t**t, and start being a grown up". If that means working at a shitty job to provide for people, get it done, stop chasing rainbows, appreciate that happiness is a fleeting emotion, not a lifestyle choice.

aleigh i'm not going to comment on a public forum but all i can say is that i can empathise with sharki

I'm not saying his choice is great, i'm saying it works for him. And it's keeping him alive. I could never, ever leave my kid like that, i missed the second year of my kids life with my problems but thats a different story. Ultimately it does seem like running away but its keeping him from being another statistic and we should be thankful for that. Going to hit the hills now before i get too introspective!

What's wrong with being selfish? You only get the one life, too many people piss it away.

Perhaps after getting away from it all for a week / month / year, the OP will end up sorted enough to come back. Sounds like a sensible decision to me. If it works, great, if it doesn't, try something else. Keep trying.

Unless you've not been paying attention too closely, he's already moved on from the selfish option. That's a win right there.

Perhaps after getting away from it all for a week / month / year

Perhaps…

..and the next year? and the year after?

How long would the charity of STWers be happy to keep going?

It's not a plan, it's not a solution, it's running away.

I'm out, because I have to do stuff…

i agree, everyone's different. in my opinion it's for professionals to work out the best solution, not yourself when you're in a fragile state.

Enjoy finding yourself, if running away works for you then good. Am near the wyre forest if you needed to trade a bit of gardening for a bed or food.

One thing to seriously to consider and keeping the back of your mind. While you are off finding yourself, those you leave behind will move on with their lives, you may find it very difficult coming back to a place that should be familiar but actually you are more of a stranger than you were on your travels.

Right then, whose first on here:

Sharki or you lot?

I've bitten my lip on this one a bit, for fear of appearing insensitive, but Crikey has basically voiced my own thoughts pretty much.

Maybe Sharki needs to stop for a moment and consider that the nice bicycle he will be riding will have been made by some poor sod in a factory in the east somewhere, for an absolute pittance, because they have to feed their family. There are no options.

I'm not suggesting for a moment that you throw yourself body and soul into the 'rat race' which you so despise, Sharki. I can relate to the daily grind of the 9-5 not being for you. But there are alternatives; have you considered working/volunteering for a charity which does outdoors stuff? Sounds like you've got loads of skills which would be very useful in such a job. You have quite good communication skills; how about looking into developing projects to do up stuff in rural areas, like old barns cottages etc? Repairing old machinery?

I'm not going to jump on the sycophantic bandwagon of 'hey man that's really cool dude', but at some stage you will need to face up to reality. The best way forward is surely to be able to develop ways to help you cope with everyday life, including the things you don't like. You say you want to be there for your kids, well, if you were doing work you enjoyed and helping support them, wouldn't that be better? If you could take them off on little adventures, show them stuff you've learned? Better than being an absent father, surely? And I don't know if there are any custody/access issues, but surely a working, responsible dad would have a much stronger case to see his kids regularly than a freewheeling hobo? Sometimes you have to make sacrifices yourself, rather than relying on others do do so all the time.

The toughest journey you will ever face is coming to terms with yourself. If you don't, you will forever be trying to run away. Please, try to get some help. Seems like there are those out there who can help you. I won't pretend it won't be painful, but with hope, the future will be a lot happier.

Good luck to you mate, and have a think about what people have said on here.

Well if you happen to be in the 06 in france give me a shout. I'll make sure you're well fed 😉

Oh just one more thing, stay away from the drink n drugs fella (unless prescribed) and it is worth talking to your doctor about everything and if they suggest speaking to someone else then give it a try, it may hurt a bit but it could be the best thing you've ever done! Take care, A

I wonder how i would react if my "other half" walked out and took the kids… ❓

Move away from Bridgwater. It is the arsehole of the world and would eat anyone's soul.

OMG you live in Bridgwater, Ihave passed there twice on my way to the quantocks….sh!t hole of the universe… and i only passed through!!!

I'm with the MTFU crowd on this one; part of being a grown up is doing stuff that you don't want to do, like getting a job, like accepting responsibility,

Or maybe part of being a REAL grown up is knowing that you only get once at chance at life.. why throw it away conforming to someone elses model..?

just a thought..

crikey – Member
Perhaps after getting away from it all for a week / month / year

Perhaps…

..and the next year? and the year after?

This is a good point and one that this guy needs to face upto.

Maybe he'll get a bit stronger and be able to cope with his demons when he returns from this trek. Hope so, good luck!

Can MTFU always be the answer?

Sharki has a choice let him decide what he wants if it makes him happy/mentally stronger by travelling and riding.

Mods, can you move this over to chat as it's not really on topic anymore.
—————————————————————————

And once again the oracle of STW speaks, for they know everything through experience of all that occurs.

I appreciate all the advice and offers, as i travel, i hope to meet some of you and give you the chance to share your love of life and i'll share mine.

I'm by no means hoping to survive on STW users, the reason i started this post was mearly an opportunity to pop by and thanks people for the concern and support i got when i disappeared.
I however foolishly forgot the diversity of minds that lurk here and opened the flood gates for narrow minded opinion to be spouted, lets hope we don't see any of that.

Yes i do have a moral obligation to others and i do wish i could function in a suitable way to support and care for them as they deserve.

In all my years i've never been settled, whether with a person or in a place.

I look at the world and see only suffering from greed, jealously of another mans assets, i see stress and unhappiness as people go about their obligations to fit in, to have the next gadget, fine food, a holiday, a life.
I sit and watch people hanker after better things, then complain that there's rubbish on their £1000 tele, the cars broken down again, a newer model whatever is out and i need it to make their life easier.
Then there's Tax, you pay tax on income, whats left you put in the bank and get taxed on saving it, so you spend it and pay tax on that. If there's anything left you can leave it there for a rainy day, or you never get to spend it, well that's useful.

For me this a life i do not want, only I have he power to change that.

Unfortunately i have to come first, my happiness hopefully will pass on to my children and they can learn from my foresight to a better existence.

UP THE REVOLUTION.

And before anyone says about when i get ill, who's going to fund it..I'll be ill for a reason and may nature take me when it's time, let no man intervene with natures course.

It's not for me say wether it's right or wrong but all I can say is have a safe and interesting journey.

Hope to see you if/when you are up, not sure if I have any work for you but got crash-space.

Cheers Al, i could replaster all your work as the only building tool i'll be carrying is my trowel. 😉

Looks like i'll be in the Burgh for a while. 8)

Speak to Mark about plastering…mine's all done…badly!

lol, artex then is it?

Meh.

I don't agree that your choice is wise or sustainable, and I hope you get to look back and see that my arguement has some value.

But, good luck with it, hope you get there, wherever there is.

Crikey, maybe you don't have all the answers.

I think in this case all arguments have some value, mental illness is a fickle mistress and stikes each in a different way. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and send nothing but good thoughts to anyone who has suffered from or dealt with it, good luck to sharki on his way back.

Al, when I think of the absolute bollocks I made of my life for a time, I couldn't agree more.
I'm aware that my comment here comes across in a way that looks unpleasant, and makes me sound like a knob. I'm kind of speaking from the heart about this because I so nearly chucked everything away.
I wish him well, its a bad way to feel, but geography doesn't heal stuff.

Crikey, and i'm not having a go here cos you've obviously been where i have and know it all too well, i dont think its as much about geography as it is about finding a way of life that can sustain peace of mind and content. No amount of pills can bring you self content, they can remove symptoms and take the edge off but they cant make you function in a world that you dont fit into. And when you really think about it is it any different to say, someone going off to work on oil rigs, foreign contracts etc for a few months at a time??

Doog, thankyou.

I've spend pretty much the last 3 hrs trying to say just that.

No prob Sharki, welcome in Calderdale if you're ever passing through.

I must be getting old; I can't maintain any head of steam or righteous anger for long…

Sharki, do well fella, prove me wrong…. 😀

Sharki

Well, we've not met but I wish you well and hope you get to where you want and need to be in life.

Bring on the revolution too I say. I'm going to try and change things from the inside, rather than out, but if we really are to change things, then change is going to have to come from all directions I say, so good on you.

Si

Nice bubble

theres a kid in mine, yours seems to be void of that

I'm aware that my comment here comes across in a way that looks unpleasant, and makes me sound like a knob.

not at all, i think you've just voiced what other people could be thinking and i respect you for that.