I,m doing a 30 mile local ride tomorrow.Will I die,any tips?
Oh and I,m a reasonably fit middle aged bloke.Cheers for any SERIOUS contributions.The naked ape.

Tips on dying? Hold your breath and count to 500….(I’d class that as serious)

You called it a steed, your punishment is lots of pain tomorrow 😛

Take more water than you think you will need as you will probably need it. And food with the right stuff to prevent cramps.

Bit of oil on the chain would probably be a good idea.

Have you fed and watered it over the 4 months? There might be a big pile of crap behind it and it might be grumpy.

Honest and serious tips?
Take it steady, take some extra energy sweet stuff and so long as you turn the pedals the bike will go forwards.

I recommend a late night after a massive take-a-way beer and/or wine sleep late and turn up without water or food will result in a great tide.

Top tip over

My advice…..if your reading this then your not in bed,suggest you get there so you have energy to rip your lungs out of your chest and hand them to the gods,seriously,you will be surprised how fit you still are,iff not physically then mentally.

I rode my MTB this week for the first time in 6 months due to an operation. I have been on the road bike a few times and in the gym a reasonable amount over the past 3 months. My legs are surprisingly good (I seem to be better at climbing) but my lungs and back are bollocksed. For me 30m on the road bike tomorrow would be fine but on the MTB I would be close to actual death.

Perhaps I might start slow and get slower.Its a ride on pretty level terrain,I’m just not convinced hiking and weight training are of much use when cycling.

You say you’re middle aged yet you call a bicycle a “steed” and can’t punctuate or use a space bar. I’d say you have much bigger problems than riding a bike.

Umm,cheers for that positive contribution Tim nice but dim.I’m just of to buy a space bar for my Smartphone.

Let us know how you get on,have a good ride.

Working your legs in the gym can build the muscles and make peddling easier, especially the low speed hard stuff.

You say you’re middle aged yet you call a bicycle a “steed” and can’t punctuate or use a space bar. I’d say you have much bigger problems than riding a bike.

🙂

Maybe middle-age is 30?

I,m a third of the way through and just beginning to wish Id cycled through the winter.Still its a nice day and I seem to be clearing all the snot from my head.My hanky is soaked.Any support appreciated.Neeps.

Oh and I,m drinking like a fish(worryingly.

I recommend a late night after a massive take-a-way beer and/or wine sleep late and turn up without water or food will result in a great tide.

Top tip over

😆

This brought back painful memories.

Hmm… I went out last week round the lakes after being off the BIKE since August. Fitness was fine as I’m in the gym 3 – 4 times a week. What I wasn’t ready for was the morning after. Felt like I’d had a six month spell inside as “Big Jimmy’s” bitch. Didn’t sit down all day. Good luck.

Halfway now,I,m about to have a cheese crisp sandwich.Cause I’m bright.I will also go for the Coca Cola option.Think my butt could be red rare tomorrow.Apes.

Beginning to flag,any advice.10 miles to go.

Taxi.

30 miles is just a warm up surely? 😉

ricky1 I,ve managed all 34 miles.Not sure what shape I,ll be in tomorrow,bad I suspect.Yours rare butt.

Oh and I,m drinking like a fish(worryingly.

Is the steed well watered?

update please!

Just of out for a walk,then do some stretches.I,m starting to tighten up.

Don’t care about my steed.

34 miles in 4.23 hours(Includes lots of breaks).Average speed just under 8mph,kcals burnt 3500.Bottom covered in skin cream.

Give yourself a pat on the back and a beer,I know people that ride 4 times a week and struggle to do 20 miles in one go,you might have to get the cream out and apply generously throughout the day,sounded like you had fun any road,thanks for the updates,enjoyed reading and knowing how you got on,I love biking and I can relate all to much to some of the experiences you had,well done.

Thanks Ricky,to be fair it was only a localish pootle so not any big climbs.In fact it was mainly dirt track and tarmac.On the other hand it was done on my Carrare Banshee X.All 34lbs of her!
Anyhow today I have that nice warm smug feeling of the well exercised.Anybody recognise that feeling?My STEED however is in a shocking state.Neeps.

Fair play bud.

Thanks Renton.Time for a snooze me thinks.Beds are more comfortable than chairs at the moment.

34 miles in 4.23 hours(Includes lots of breaks).Average speed just under 8mph,kcals burnt 3500.Bottom covered in skin cream

Erm, 3500 Cals in a 34 mile ride at 8mph, what gave you that figure ? is suggest whatever it was you ignore it, i would be surprised if it was anything even near 1200 Cals……..

Endomondo,I thought it was a bit high,still I did find myself eating and drinking all the time.And since.

Bit more stiff and tired today than yesterday.Perhaps the adrenaline is still pumping around next day.I,d like to go out on my bike for a spin,in order to loosen up my legs.My backside strongly disagrees with this notion however.

Cream on arse _before_ the ride is the secret.

Also, after being off the bike, the arse is the 1st thing to complain. Just a few shorter rides will start to break it in and get more comfortable.

Too late now though, have a seat.

I did try that mate.But as you pointed out I have overdone things.