I’m flicking through my tv listings, and it seems there is a JCVD movie every night, and it ocurred to me, I’ve never seen one! not the whole way through, i’ve seen bits of Universal soldier or some kickboxing crap and something else and flicked over. I mean, I like a fun, dumb explosive action movie like commando or that steven segal movie where he is an ass kicking chef where Erika Eleniak pops out of a cake. But JCVD films seem to lack that self-knowing humour and wit and are just rubbish no?

I could ask my sisters ex-boyfriend for a top ten, but I don’t trust his judgement.

Didn’t he make one with Kylie Minogue once?

Lucky chap having a pretty lady like that on set.

Streetfighter because Kylie is in it.

Timecop’s OK. Not as good as Under Siege though.

But Under Siege is good despite Seagal being in it.

How about Monaco Forever?

shi7! you’ve got me already!. I saw streetfighter in the cinema ages ago. So I HAVE watched a JCVD movie the whole way through. I was playing streetfighter2 a lot on the snes with my flatmates and we had to check it out, totally and utterly forgot about that! The bastard sneaked in there!

Bloodsport
AWOL
Kickboxer
Universal Soldier

Are all worth a watch.

Universal Soldier is probably the best.

You could watch Double Impact, halfway through. That would be equivalent

JCVD is close to being a really awesome movie, but is still a very good one.

I seriously doubt it Stuey01. BTW, are you my sisters ex-boyfriend?

anyone making a case for The Damme, back it up!

no

JCVD is actually pretty good, in a kind of postmodern way. His others were all bollox except for Timecop which is actually a good film.

cyborg

Part of the comedy of JCVD is the lack of self knowing humour.

I’m not even going to start my reply with ‘in my opinion’, because all his films have been total and utter arse brisket. The man’s a spu*k stain on the duvet of life. Oh, and I’m not using a smiley face thing neither.

Alright calm down 🙂 😀 😆

He always includes a gratuitous shot of his naked butt… you interested now mitch?

He’s a very short man yeti. And Belgian.

No suede bumming jacket action please. Not needed, not nice.

Elf – how the devil are you?

Hahaha. Fair point. But he’s got a cracking arse and he can do flying round house kicks and everything.

TBH his films were good when I was a stoned teenager and led me to watch some badly subtitled kung fu classics. However, I’d never be able to sit through one these days… even if you strapped me to a chair and stapled my eye lids open.

I agree with you about the arese yeti, but as I said, he’s very short. And bad tempered.
Damn your rapid editing yeti!

What was the one where he fought in loads of competitions to avenge his brother? That was so crap it was good. He had a chap with him who spoke proper jive, awesome. I couldn’t understand a word he said which made him cool.

Plus he was in friends.

Sorry mitch if only they developed a post preview function or something then I wouldn’t make so many first time spelling mistakes.

TSY- loving the stoned reminiscence of Brussels bum cheeks!

“all his films have been total and utter arse brisket. The man’s a spu*k stain on the duvet of life”
NOW THAT’S a REVIEW! good work.

That’s what I’m after samuri, the so crap it’s good damme film, sommat I can enjoy for it’s dumb stupidity, it’s out there, I know it is, there must be a golden nugget JCVD film that is really funny , and I might’ve missed it!

Borat’s on!

Is nice!

excellent. not even a single wizard will survive in their dessert!

good heads up mate..

I am in the nest of Jews…

Some of his films have great titles, but thats about it.

e.g. Half Past Dead

My moustache still tastes of your testes!

😆

Genius.

Eric Bana as Chopper now. That’s acting. Chopper would eat van dammes brains for pudding and afters.

Hard Target, but only for the magnificent mullet on display

He is the ultimate action hero:-

He has Arnies one liners
Jackie Chans charm
Steven Segals alure
and Stallones command of English

Hmmm, now I’ve seen that written down – he’s a bit of a runt…..

not unless you are a 12yo boy.. no

No Retreat, No Surrender
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fszUyLflAQo[/video]

like a poor man’s Karate Kid, but still a great watch.

Kickboxer is my favourite. This is genius, for all action hero fans:

Agree with Stuey01’s list, plus Hard Target. All silly enjoyable action films. And JCVD is actually quite a good film.

You don’t get any decent action stars now – JCVD, Seagal, Chuck Norris, Arnie…

Who are the modern equivalents? Jason Statham and Vin Diesel 😆

You’re all just jealous you can’t dance like this anyway

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE8XKeN0zk4[/video]

I quite liked Universal Soldier, but only ’cause at the time i was going out with a bird who the spits of that reporter hottie…..

got to love the pre op nose in no retreat no surrender…..

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUYhWnTv2CU[/video]

Clearly a legend.