Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 55 total)
  • Had a mammogram today
  • Karinofnine
    Full Member

    What a horrible embarrassing thing it is! It makes you feel like a specimen or something, and where do you look and what do you say when someone is arranging your boobs between two bits of cold plastic?

    Thankfully it only takes a few minutes, and I got a copy of the film and a cd! My boobs – on a cd, not at all sexy tho, wierd and clinical and strange.

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    peniscam is no fun either 🙁

    druidh
    Free Member

    joolsburger
    Free Member

    I thought you got a take that CD or something for a moment there, my wife would be thrilled.

    On the plus side you got the all clear eh, a close friend just cleared her's up and got the all clear after chemo etc, so prolly worth the effort…

    smiffkin
    Full Member

    You're not posting the photos then? In all seriousness, I hope all is well and it was just a "waste" of your time. Most Doctory stuff is a bit embarrassing, us blokes are the worst cowardly lot going!

    Karinofnine
    Full Member

    Oh yes, defo worth it to make sure all is ok – or if not, to catch it early – a Take That CD lol

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    now I'm feeling I missed out on a Pussycat Girlz CD too 🙁

    crispybacon
    Free Member

    😉

    tails
    Free Member

    What I feel people don't realise is the staff involved in looking at your bits and bobs are the most professional in the NHS. Whenever I have been for STD tests, the staff have been so professional putting you at ease, always on time and explaining the process. Besides they have seen enough nobs, muffs and jugs to not really be phased by it.

    Hope today went well for you. 😀

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    I found a lump once, finally picked up the courage to go to the Dr's, I think that she was probably more embarrassed than I was, to quote her "most men ask to see a male doctor with this sort of problem". Fail.

    Karinofnine
    Full Member

    Gotta take the dog out now, will have a look at the cd when I get back – I wonder if it IS possible to post the images?

    tails
    Free Member

    most men ask to see a male doctor with this sort of problem

    I find female doctors far more compassionate and keen to resolve your problems, in fact I hope to change my doc soon as he comes across as a box ticker.

    zaskar
    Free Member

    How often do you need to have it done if you're a lady?

    lyons
    Free Member

    southern yeti -Lol.

    I went to see a doctor a while ago about something down there, and it was one of the most embarassing thing i've ever had to do 🙁

    "so if you can just take your trousers off…"

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    – I wonder if it IS possible to post the images?

    PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEASE no Robbie Williams 🙁

    I don't have any photographic keepsakes from the experience, though I recall about 3 hours of deep discomfort when I was convinced I'd never be able to pee again 🙁

    druidh
    Free Member

    simonfbarnes – Premier Member

    I don't have any photographic keepsakes from the experience, though I recall about 3 hours of deep discomfort when I was convinced I'd never be able to pee again

    That makes sense. I always reckoned you were full of piss.

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    I always reckoned you were full of piss.

    never a truer word spoken 🙂

    lyons
    Free Member

    I forgot to say, I hope everyting is ok…

    smiffkin
    Full Member

    I've been looking around the forum andjust realiesed you're the poor person who nearly got squished by a bus today too. You have not had a good day have you. Nearly minced and then had to press your lady bumps against a cold X ray camera! Blimey, hope you have a better day tomorrow.

    muddydwarf
    Free Member

    I went to the docs with a 'strange feeling' down below – odd, heavy feeling that i suspected was testicular cancer. Doc did the visual and hands-on examination (very embarrassing) before asking what sport i played, replied 'cycling' & he said "buy another saddle!".

    Turned out i had some thickening of the tissue around the bunch of nerves between bum & bollox 😳 but seriously, get yourself checked out regularly whether male or female.

    Spud
    Full Member

    Definitely chose not to one of the female GPs at our practice when I found a lump, would be mightily embarassing seeing as I went to school with her!

    NZCol
    Full Member

    I had a dose of prostatitis which was quite unnerving. All started after a long road ride and was just a nightmare time. At one point i thought they had left the door open on the docs surgery and queue of people had formed wanting to put their fingers up my bum !.
    However all very professional and a urologist (who was a cyclist) actually came in with half a dozen saddles, a turbo trainer and some weird pressure pad thing – got a new seat out of it and he put it through on his books so insurance paid. Brilliant service ! Still go road riding with him.

    Karinofnine
    Full Member

    Would she have told me if not all clear? She said she was sending the results to the Doctor. I was so freaked out by it all I didn't even ask. Besides the searing shame of the mammogram itself, it was in a posh private hospital in EC1 and I had gone on my bike, wearing the windproof I had worn mountainbiking on Sunday – I hadn't noticed until that moment that it was covered in mud and snot… I really just wanted to leave, she gave me the envelope and I bolted.

    SFB – I don't really want to ask but I feel morbidly compelled – did peniscam actually go IN your penis?

    Thank you to all who asked if it was clear – I think so, see above.

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    did peniscam actually go IN your penis?

    It shore did 🙁 All the way to my bladder! Not that I saw, they knocked me out cold first…

    Karinofnine
    Full Member

    Zaskar,

    Every two years, and you're supposed to keep the film so they can compare next time. Just think, eventually I'll have a whole collection of tit photos. Gives a whole new meaning to "You must come round and see our photographs" lol

    Smiffkin, thanks, hope I don't meet the 263 again!

    I have looked on the CD – it contains 4 digital images. I pressed "play cine" and the images leap from side to side of the screen – hilarious. No idea how to post them. Its called Centricity DICOM Viewer.

    Pigface
    Free Member

    Had kidney stone removed by going up my John Thomas 😯 had an epidural so was awake through the whole thing. Not the most comfortable experience. Having the catheter taken out was somewhere I dont want to go again.

    AndyP
    Free Member

    peniscam really is grim. GA helps a lot, obviously, but pissing blood for 3 days afterwards is a bit disturbing.

    curtisthecat
    Free Member

    Karinofnine,
    I am glad that all is ok, not to make you worry, but my Mum went through breast cancer twice(she has been in remission for over 8 years). For this reason I am glad that you and other women put themselves through a few minutes of embarrassment and discomfort to get checked. I am always going on at Mrs Curtisthecat to get checked.

    AndyP
    Free Member

    For this reason I am glad that you and other women put themselves through a few minutes of embarrassment and discomfort to get checked.
    well said. Spent 6 years working in breast cancer and it was quite mindblowing. Mammogs make a colossal difference.

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    my partner has had to have hers done every 6 months from 30, its apparently a very unpleasant experience and it always upsets her. Hope yours was OK.

    On embarassing dr stories. I once had a swollen lymph node in my groin investigated and the consultant said we have a student here do you mind if she has a feel. No I say. Then in walks a jaw droppingly atteractive young lady who proceeded to put her hand down me pants look me in the eye and say "its not very big is it" then look very embaraased and pull her hand out. Quite upset me that 😥

    Karinofnine
    Full Member

    Complaining aside, I am grateful that I can have a mammogram every two years (rather than the NHS three).

    And, although I said it was clinical, it would be infinitely worse if, when you took your top off, the radiologist went "phwooooaarrr NICE RACK!"

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    Karin – it's good that we get checked. What's a bit of discomfort for peace of mind? As far as I am aware, you should get an all-clear letter but this of course may vary, dependant on area.

    Agree with your last comment though 😆

    fruitbat
    Full Member

    A friend of mine (who works in IT, nuff said) thought a Mammogram was like a Kissogram where the lady showed the recipient her 'assets'. 😀

    eldridge
    Free Member

    Anyone on here old enough to be invited to take part in the national bowel cancer screening programme?

    It's a real charmer. You have to collect three samples of your excrement, taken over at least three separate days. Then you have to use a little cardboard spatula to smear a small amount of these, two at a time, over six little windows in a thick piece of card, and then post it off to the labs in a special shit-proof envelope.

    The instructions say that the sample must not have been in a toilet bowl, but have to be obtained freshly-squeezed (not their words)

    Their suggestion is to put on a plastic glove and shit in your hand!

    I used some 1 pint plastic beer glasses we had left over from a party – a nice wide target area with plenty of room for overspill – but the smell was minging

    The results came back showing that I'm not in the early stages of bowel cancer – whey hey!

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    my boss showed us the kit and described what he was going to have to do in more details than I cared to hear 🙁

    eldridge
    Free Member

    sfb

    surely you are now old enough to qualify for this life-enhancing test?

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    surely you are now old enough to qualify for this life-enhancing test?

    perhaps, but it's not been offered to me, and I'm in no hurry for poo dabbling :o)

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    I had peniscam when I was a young lad of 13.

    I can remember coming round from the anasthetic and seeing my concerned looking mum offering me some tea and toast, which somehow I managed to politely refuse while suppressing the urge to scream "Aaaaah Sweet Jesus ma cock!!"

    dr_death
    Free Member

    You can usually save the images off the CD if it is centricity, should be a clicky button on the top row somewhere when you load up the image viewer. Advantage of going NHS is that they look after the pics for you… 😉

    The people who take the pics are usually radiographers so they will need to be reviewed by either a radiologist (doc) or reviewing radiographer (radiographer with extra training). Hope all is well…..

    mboy
    Free Member

    I used some 1 pint plastic beer glasses we had left over from a party – a nice wide target area with plenty of room for overspill – but the smell was minging

    The results came back showing that I'm not in the early stages of bowel cancer – whey hey!

    Excellent!

    Except your wife is now worried you're trying out for the next "2 girls, 1 cup" grot movie! 😉

    And, although I said it was clinical, it would be infinitely worse if, when you took your top off, the radiologist went "phwooooaarrr NICE RACK!"

    Hahaha, good call! I'd be a nightmare if I was a doctor mind… Probably just as well I'm not! 😳

    On embarassing dr stories. I once had a swollen lymph node in my groin investigated and the consultant said we have a student here do you mind if she has a feel. No I say. Then in walks a jaw droppingly atteractive young lady who proceeded to put her hand down me pants look me in the eye and say "its not very big is it" then look very embaraased and pull her hand out. Quite upset me that

    Was admitted to hospital in a hurry when I was 18 with suspected appendicitis. Anyway, they had to see to me that night as it was possibly going to burst… Team of doctors came round, asked me to turn onto my side whilst one stuck a finger up my bum to have a feel around for the swelling… No major problems, not the most pleasant feeling, but I've had a lot worse…

    "Do you mind if our new intern has a quick look too, she's only recently started and needs to learn about these things"… Seeing as I was in a lot of pain from my appendix, so wasn't that worried, and that someone else had already had their finger up there, didn't think it would be an issue…

    Up steps this very young Chinese looking girl, about 5ft tall, and if she was old enough to be a doctor I was impressed! Anyway… Up her finger goes…

    "I said a finger, not her whole fist!" 😯

    Either she had the fattest fingers in the world, was totally inept, or decided to fist my arse for fun, but it was NOT pleasant… That a 50 something year old man can slip a digit in practically unoticed, yet a 22 year old shortarse girl makes me feel like I've been fisted was quite unnerving!

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