……. you don't sweat much for a fat lass!

to my now wife, marry me, we have 3 kids and been 11 married years

fancy coming over for dinner and staying for breakfast??

Can I smell your f@nny?

No

It must be the drains then

What is a girl like you doing in a nice place like this………

Does this smell of chloroform (spell check?)

For the slapper who has downed too many WKDs;
Know what would look good on you?
ME.

Whats got 2 thumbs speaks french and likes blowjobs?
*thumbs up* Moi.

Your eyes are like spanners
They make my nuts tighten

For the more respectable (and sober) lady
You look beautiful tonight, what's your name?

I'm like a mushroom. I'm a fun guy and I'll grow on you.

Whispered into her ear; "Let's not turn this rape into a murder…"

Loads of crap lines over the years but the wingman always worked for me. When your out with a mate wait till he goes to the bar and then go over to a couple of women and tell the munter of the pair your mate fancies her and invite them over for a drink. Tell your mate the hot one's up for some so he needs to keep her friend happy…..
Women walkover and your mate does all the hard work leaving you to chat with the hottie… Worked numerous times for me but you need a good wingman!!!! Nothing better than getting laid and then being able to rip your mate for shagging the bird from the planet of the apes 🙂

you've got the nicest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming across

A revealing insight into the mind of the male members of the forum, who evidently despise women and only want to w@nk inside the bodies of those with a self-image so low as to allow the assault.

this lovely young lady shouted to me "Oi, Oi, yes you you c*nt, you better not be leaving without giving me your f-ing number".

There's nothing like a bit of class.
Which is exactly what that is, nothing like it.

I saw this work at uni.

Mate walks up to amply chested young lady. "Have you ever had them weighed?".

"No?" comes the reply.

Mate grabs two handfuls. "WAHEYYYY!".

Surprisingly, it didn't end up with a boot in the nadgers. He did actually manage to pull!

I have read that a poll of women readers by a national paper revealed the favourite chat up line to be:

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk past you again?"

Of course, that's all about emotional attachment, rather than consensual rape… 🙄

essel. I know! I sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I'd settled for that first young lady 🙂

Whats your favourite colur, Pink or Brown?

"you look exactly like my third wife……"
"Christ, how many times have you been married then?"

"Twice……."

Is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling the average age on this thread is about 16?

I think it's just you.

"While you're at the bar, will you get me a drink?"

Thirty years on, two grown-up children & she's still paying for me, poor woman.

I bet you a quid I can make your breasts move without touching them.

(do I really need to explain the rest of that one?)

A good friend of mine, drunk at a nightclub (The Irish in Nottingham)
on a dance floor there, was seen to lean over to a very pretty women dancing next to him, he was seen to say something?

She turned round and punched him spark out with one punch.

He was out cold on the floor for about 30 seconds.

By the time we got to him, she was knelt over him saying, "go on I dare you to say that again!"

To this day he has no idea what he said to her, but it must have been exceptional!

😉

My friends mate said once in a pub to a girl (he was drunk as well): "Wanna see my pump-action porridge shotgun?" That landed him either a drink on his face or a slap, can't remember. 🙂

I don't really use chat up lines as I would be probably rubbish at it. It just kinda works out itself. 2 years ago it was some home made wine that my current girlfriend brought to a party.
Anchorman – party pants 😀

never really used them but did have success one night with

"really busy in here tonight, cant get a seat anywhere….Ive got access to this wee VIP bit up there you wanna come sit with us"

made a 2 year relationship out of that one haha

Doug basque I think I met her in the World bar in Embra happy days especially as all the lasses thought my brummie accent was Australian
iME there's nothing more sexy than a slightly tipsy Scottish lass

I always use "nice shoes, they'd look good rubbing on my ears"

My name's Dick – do you like it?

I used "I'm bored of talking to my mates, can I talk to you two.

Worked a treat, still together all though she did admit to me that she's trying to stop me going biking, . . .
at least she's honest, . . . I laughed in her face anyway!

aghh, . . then again, I haven't pushed a pedal for about two months, damn!!

Easy peasy, go out with a group of girls, much easier to pull than going out with a group of lads, a) they'r a captive audiance b) they make better wingmen(women) c) theres always a never ending stream of friends for them to introduce you to 😀

Get out of my dreams and in to my Land Rover.

My names smudge…. rememeber it you'll be screaming it later 😆

Or,
youre clothes would look great beside my bed

nearly forgot…..

I'm a bird watcher and i'm lookng for a big breasted bed thrasher, have you seen one??

hey mate just looking at your old threads. did you evercure your problem with k24 levers retracting slowly?

Do you come here often?

Do you like Clarks shoes?

You have prominent child bearing hips.

Are you in season?

😆

"I like your sleeves. They're real big."

Napoleon Dynamite had the right idea – off-hand compliments, and killer dancing.

ok ive just been out and returned alone..

the "did you ever cure your problem with k24 levers retracting slowly?" didnt go down too well.

Probably best not to mention the K24 retraction when you first meet someone, don't want to appear too pushy.

Having given it some thought….i would rather listen to Kraftwerk.

Is your Dad a thief?

Cos you look like that… err… sort… you know

If you stay, i wont rob you

innit.