Really struggling with my life right now, for no real particular reason that I can place a finger on and fix… TBH, I think I may be suffering from some form of mental disorder/illness (depression or something…) I just can't find myself happy right now, despite having a loving wife, a good (and not stressful) job, a stable of bikes and a generally pretty alright overall life situation. I feel I need to do something, but I don't know what…

So, I've been thinking maybe I should take a break from work for a bit, get out riding a lot more, focus on getting myself fit and healthy again (physically and mentally)… trouble is, I can't take annual leave (not enough staff to cover, so wouldn't be approved), which leaves the option of getting signed off by a doctor for an extended period?

Has anyone done this? Were there any major repercussions from your work? Did you sort yourself out and get back to the same role? Am I being unfair to my employer and my workplace colleagues (if I go, it'll put them under pressure etc)?

Just interested to hear peoples thoughts and experiences…

if you have depression, i don't think you really have an option you may need to be signed off, counselling, ADs etc. If your feeling a bit down due to the weather, life, then you need some time off, when you say not enough staff, do you mean others are off or you can't take holiday? if the later i am sorry but the law says you are entitled to holiday, is it your company?

What i have learnt recently, business is business, any company that is over reliant on one person is badly run, what if you are hit by a bus tomorrow, and your a long time dead.

I think getting signed off would be a mistake. are you actually that ill? Tehre might well be questions asked both at this job and at any future ones – who wants to employ someone who has had a period of time of sick with mental health issues – unfair as that may be.

Go to your GP for a chat and ask for referral on – to a counsellor or community psychiatric nurse who whoever may be relevant.

Look to address the issues without taking tome of sick in the first instance – unless its either the work that is the issue or that you really cannot cope at work. Just taking time off work won't solve anything IMO.

So basicly you want time off with pay,paid by your company, and as you said your company are short of staff to cover you for annual leave,so they will have to work harder to cover for your loss, all so you can ride your bike a bit more.

Perhaps poping down to the GP, and haveing a chat about your elusive problems may help.

Also the sick note thing is now a fit note where the GP tells your employer what other jobs you could well do.

Obviously not the responce you wanted,have you thought of giving the job up and then you will have plenty of time to ride your bike.

When you go to bed at night,you pull the curtains shut, they dont pull themselves closed, life is similar, you need to do some things yourself.

See a doctor – if they feel you are unfit for work the decision is made for you. If they think you are fit for work then you need to speak to your employers.

I would try to improve my fitness and general wellbeing whilst continuing to work so that you get on top of everything rather than seeing e.g. work as a source of all your problems, isolate yourself from it and then dreading returning to it. Cut down/out booze, get more sunlight by e.g. walking about at lunchtime, go to bed earlier, organise a few weekends away.

It reads as if you're fed up and in a rut. If you want time off work to ride your bike and sort your head out, you're not depressed.
If you were clinically depressed, riding your bike would be toward the bottom of a list of things you'd like to do. Top of the list would be curling up in a ball in the quietest place you could find with the world leaving you the hell alone.

Sounds like the onset of a midlife.

To be honest I don't quite know how people actually get signed off with stress/depression, when I was undergoing a really really tough time(threats of redundancy, family breavement, house purchase falling through, car robbed, bad snowboard accident all in 2 months) the doctor shrugged and helpfully told me to get another job.

Even when I had an accident breaking both wrists and tearing my hamstring I had to suggest to the doctor I might have a bit of trouble getting into work….even then I still worked from home.

Talk with your boss about some unpaid leave, say 3-6 months to sort yourself out?

"Am I being unfair to my employer and my workplace colleagues (if I go, it'll put them under pressure etc)?"

If you're asking for leave for reasons of health, and you're refused, then no you're not being at all unfair to consider this as an alternative.

Whether you should, is a whole other kettle of fish, TJ is absolutely spot on. It'd have been no bother at all for me to get signed off pretty much indefinately a couple of years back, medically and in the short term it was probably the right thing to do but I was just about able to get through it all without, which I'm now glad I did since it's a lot easier to explain a few years of crap jobs in which you didn't excel, than a year off sick. And my life was a mess anyway, sure working through it made it worse but being off entirely wouldn't have fixed it. It's still not fixed really but it's better.

Best of luck anyway, I think you should probably ignore most of the advice you get on this subject, including mine, I did.

Strange we all agree so far,clinical depression kills off all thoughts of enjoying onesself, and motivation to do exercise disapears,so you dont sound depressed just fed up, join the club,or vote liberal.

You should resign, and take a break to figure out what you want to do with your life- I doubt that you're unwell.

Over the last few months you've chopped and changed bikes like there's no tomorrow, talked about changing jobs, going back to university, moving cities… seems to me that you lack direction and focus. Take the time off, by all means, it sounds like your wife could support you, but you shouldn't cop out by trying to milk either the company you work for, or the nhs, to pay for some down time.

Time to get a hobby? Something challenging, something to look forward to? Not bikes, nothing you know. Try learning a language, Swedish or Norwegian or Hungarian or whatever.

ooo – set yourself some 'life goals' write down things that you've always wanted to do (be realistic though) and say you want to do them by 30 (or 40 or whatever)

I found that working back it meant I had to do three things a year. I haven't done everything I wanted but got a lot of cool things done gives me something else to think about/aim for rather than mundane day2day life.

psychle, this is serious 5hit, the last thing i would do is ask about serious 5hit on here! you get every answer possible and all from unqualified people making decisions based on the 3 paragraphs you supplied.

me personally, i would talk to my gp (after much badgering from mrs mcgroo) then i would talk to a specialist and i would probably talk to 5 different specialists before i found one that could help me.

as for getting signed off etc, i've got opinions but like i said, this is serious 5hit, we're not talking about "what colour pedals for my orange 5" here, so i'm not qualified to comment.

this can be sorted, good luck 😉

psychle – Member
Really struggling with my life right now, for no real particular reason that I can place a finger on

Are you being honest with yourself here?

Look… I don't know what my problem is, and explaining it in a rational way, typing on a forum, isn't possible really… I really do feel crap at the moment, but you've all got fair points to make re. 'taking advantage' of work/nhs, MTFU etc and I feel the same way as well. but, I can't seem to get motivated to exercise, I can't seem to get started on anything I want to to, I prevaricate and procrastinate and nothing gets done, even when I really want to do something… I don't know what to do, but I have to do something as I really can't keep going on like I am…

Thanks for the thoughts, all of them, TBH it all tally's up pretty much with everything that I'm thinking myself anyhow, just need to try and make sense of all of them and sort it out…

damn… missed the edit window…

just wanted to add, my last post wasn't a shot at anyone in particular or meant to sound narky, sorry if it came across that way…

probably should keep my mental musings to myself really, an internet bike forum isn't really the best place to seek psychology advice…

Sounds like you could be depressed. Seek help!

I think it is a decent place to seek advice – just accept it all with a large pinch of salt. You will get as you have done a variety of views and ideas and that will help you to make decisions.

Sounds like possible depression to me – teh later post sounds more like it.

GP first of all.

I can't seem to get motivated to exercise, I can't seem to get started on anything I want to to, I prevaricate and procrastinate and nothing gets done, even when I really want to do something… I don't know what to do, but I have to do something as I really can't keep going on like I am…

Yeah, I know that one. I just got pissed a lot instead, really doesn't help. For me, I had to make a big change in my life to get a proper sense of perspective, not that easy when you don't know what it is and can't even get out of bed!. If you dig deep and be honest with yourself, you might know what to do.

I can sympathise with your situation – have felt similar too. Its not just those with nothing or massive problems that suffer …

I'd be slightly worried that if you chucked in your job that might produce some latent stress that you are not so aware of. What I did was negotiated an extra day off a week (on reduced pay) and used that time to ride my bike and do some other stuff for me without feeling like I shouldn't. Worked for me just having that little bit of extra head room. Need to do it again now.

"curling up in a ball in the quietest place you could find with the world leaving you the hell alone"

That would be lovely!

Your clearly depressed Buzz! 🙂

My best advice for you old chap,is to get yourself an appointment with your local doctor and broach the subject
you'll find he/she is very understanding and will have many positive options for you to look at

The first step is to make that appointment 😉
Tomorrow[or today rather 😆 ] you phone.that way you'll have the weekend to gather your thoughts,with an appointment next week
Also ,you cant rely on other people to get you through this.You alone that can sort it 8)

A friend of mine was signed off from work for about a month recently with depression. Most of his time was spent at home trying various cocktails of drugs to get him back on an even keel (loads of them made him pretty much non-functioning). He's coping again now and the drugs are being reduced but if you're properly ill rather than just having a bit of a "holy shit, is this my life?!?!" sort of period, expect a not very pleasant time when you're signed off. Not a chance for him to ride a bike.

My mate was VERY glad to get back to work, it meant he was actually fit to join the human race again (his words).

Can I recommend a book that I found has helped me out of a black cloud on more than one occasion.
It might just help enough to get your head round how you're feeling and why. It might not too, but it's worth a look.
Book is called Overcoming Depression by Paul Gilbert.

System has changed, GP now obliged to identify what work you can do, so in effect being signed off will no longer exist, you can use the note to get role redefined etc, but perhaps less likely to just be given a sickie for a month or so.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8599354.stm

Things to consider, long term absence from work can reduce self confidence & esteem, so while you feel yourself in a "low" mood, being off work may not be the solution, rather trying to address the causes behind those feelings and if any are work related use the process to get your role/responsibilitiies looked at. Got to admit it sounds to me like you want a break from work, but I don't know if that should be via the sickness process: example, signed off, travelling the country mountain biking, brill, I'd love to do it, my employer wouldn't.

Definitely worth talking to your doc and talk over options like CBT etc , but I agree with TJ (shock!) and would seriously think about whether you really want it to be on your record that you have been off sick with depression.

Good luck.

mrsflash – Member
Definitely worth talking to your doc and talk over options like CBT etc , but I agree with TJ (shock!) and would seriously think about whether you really want it to be on your record that you have been off sick with depression

Mental health shouldn't be stigmatised in such a manner. Wifey has MH problems and has done for several years (best part of 10 years) and it hasn't stopped her career progressing, she's just always honest & open about it with potential employers, and has only taken time off sick at times of real crisis (about 3 times in 10 years).

Sounds like your wife's employer is a good'un and I agree that MH issues "shouldn't" matter however not all employers will be so fair (and it is fair to dismiss for excessive sick-leave IIRC).

early mid-life crisis ?

To be honest I don't quite know how people actually get signed off with stress/depression, when I was undergoing a really really tough time

Depression isn't the same as just being miserable cos you're having a tough time. Very big difference. Feeling crap is one thing – being depressed is not being able to deal with it at all.

Might I recommend some kind of therapy/counselling? Just talk things through with someone experienced might help?

Or you could try what I do. If I don't knwo what I want, I think of all the possibilities, and really imagine myself doing them, and see how that makes me feel with respect to my current situation. If I think abotu something and get really carried away with the great possibilities of it, then it's a good thing for me to do.

When I was (non clinically) depressed about my life and job I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do, and I realised that I just don't want to work, but I do want money to do fun stuff. Consequently, I decided the best thing for me to be was self-employed.. seems to be working out so far – fingers crossed!

talk to a professional,

its amazing how that helps rationalize and focus your thinking, an outside viewpoint can be very illuminating.

hopefully you will then pinpoint the issue(s) in your life, which will then be easier to resolve.

(unless you are one of those people who subconsciously long to be an amputee, i would imagine there would still be some barriers to your ultimate fulfilment should that prove to be the case.)

i will swap you some chloroform, a hacksaw and a bite guard for that american flag mech and shifters though 🙂

cynic-al – Member
Sounds like your wife's employer is a good'un and I agree that MH issues "shouldn't" matter however not all employers will be so fair (and it is fair to dismiss for excessive sick-leave IIRC).

She's on her 4th employer in that time, each move has been a promotion upwards from a head of department, she's now a senior lecturer, so as far as her MH problems holding her back, yes, good employers, but also just good recognition of when to seek help from her own perspective.

that's great Missingfrontalobe. it's probably more due to my feelings about my depression, but I don't want to have time off with it.

Agree with a lot of the comments above – the basis of a depressive episode is that you don't want to do anything, least of all ride your bike/socialise etc.

I think a sick note would be abuse of the system, but the reality is that as it's issued by your GP, and they want to keep a good relationship with you, they will probably bow-down and issue it. I personally think 'sick notes' should only be issued by a 'third party', unrelated doctor/department. They would 'weed' out those who are just wanting time off from those with a real medical conditions(mental health IS a medical condition).

Basically, I have the wish to get paid whilst riding my bike – it's not depression – it's being human.

If you really are feeling down, speak to someone face to face about it…

DrP

psychle, i have some (current) experience. i don't have time to email just now but drop me an email and i'll reply later on (not talking about it on a forum)

MH problems are covered by DDA and as such any employer who discriminates is treading a dangerous line.

psychle, sounds similar to what i'm feeling at the moment.

can't offer any suggestions, but i think many people will feel it at some point.

once uni is finished, i'm hoping to take a few months off to refocus, gain some fitness, re-assess what i want to do, and where i want to do it.
i'd speak to a GP, i may well do myself.