Hand gel? i thought it was lubricant!

Those hand dryers really boil my piss.

Don't shake hands?

Well OP at least you didn't see the guy who didn't wipe or wash his hands after a d**p… gross.

(I was only kidding btw we all know you were not looking at his peni5)

I always put a pair of marigolds on before having a wee.
No need to wash your hands afterwards then.

If hand dryers are boiling your piss you clearly arent following the instructions properly

Use tongs.

the peeing/spitting thing is superstition – getting rid of evil spirits or something.

Anyway, all that leaning on the wall while pissing is to compensate for a small knob isn't it? Leaning forward to try get the arc of piss to clear your shoes. Does the guy drive a BMW?

Anyway, err, of course I have to lean backwards while at the urinal….

"funnily enough im not ill all the time"

But everyone else is.

When I point percy at the porcelain I have to be very aware of the splashback, but what really bugs me is pubic hairs left in those stand alone urinals that are usually something like 4 foot off the floor and cause me to have to tip toe to piss

A working class man washes his hand before he pisses,
a middle class man washes his hands after

Seen a few fat guys who had to lean right over the urinal with a hand against the wall because their bellies obscure any view of porcelain or where the hell they are aiming.

While we are on the subject, I work in offices most of the time. The sort of places you expect to be occupied by civilised people. So who is it stands at the urinal, picks their nose and sticks their bogeys on the tiles over the urinal?

And you guys who can't just undo your zipper but have to undo your belts and drop your trousers half way down your arse just to take a pee, what is that about? Is that the way your Mum used to do it when she took you to pee as a kid?

I could go on……

bassspine – Member
a middle class man washes his hands after

Don't leave us wondering, he washes his hands after what?

It's all about the little boys wee. Trousers and pants round ankles. T-shirt up to nipple height and releeeeease. No hands, just let nature take it's course.

Keeping jellyfish in the urinal is pretty daft in the first place though.
We've only got a goldfish at work, but it's got its own fish tank.

That's funny!
As far as the undoing belt and top button thing's concerned, ever tried unbuttoning yer flies without? it's bloody awkward and time consuming.

ever tried unbuttoning yer flies without? it's bloody awkward and time consuming.

Depending how fat you are.