Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 70 total)
  • Friday ramblings: When was the last time you had a massive benny?
  • binners
    Full Member

    Inspired by a colleague who has just spectacularly, and absolutely hilariously lost the script, went off like a pressure cooker, and stood there shouting and wildly gesticulating like an angry italian tomato. Watching him go full Basil Fawlty has brightened my day up no end. Especially as the person at the receiving end was so richly deserving of it. Think of a sort of female Donald Trump with a penchent for setting truly insane print deadlines, then tyrannically badgering you to hit them, while simultaneously moving the goalposts every few minutes 😆

    [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78b67l_yxUc[/video]

    I must be mellowing with age, as I can’t remember the last time I properly jettisoned my toys from the pram, though I came very close yesterday with the same person). I used to have serious form for it when i was younger.

    So when was the last time you pulled your pin out, and lobbed yourself exploding into a crowded room? Who was the subject of your righteous fury, and why?

    GO!!

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    So when was the last time you pulled your pin out, and lobbed yourself exploding into a crowded room?

    I haven’t. Certainly not at work.

    Who was the subject of your righteous fury, and why?

    Usually those closest to me. mrs_oab or the kids. 😥

    bongohoohaa
    Free Member

    Don’t get angry. I just kill their pets.

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    When our internal IT department charged one of my jobs the thick end of £9000 for “site setup”…… Their entire input was receiving on phone call from me which basically went like this….

    Me: ” OK, I’ve had all 10 portacabins put in place, all of which were prewired in Cat5e, I’ve organised BT to connect the phones / broadband. I’ve connected them up the the patch panel , tested all the PC’s and the scanner and photocopier and all the phones.Everything’s working fine at this end.
    Can you see us on the network at Your end ?”

    Mark the IT Nobber : “Yep, Good to go this end!”

    Me: “Thanks Mark, Have a super Day.”

    3 weeks later….. I’m checking the internal costs for the Job – IT recharge £8950. WTF?!

    Weapons grade Toy – Pram Separation ensued. 😳

    P-Jay
    Free Member

    I lost my shit in work about 6 months ago. I do now and again, I take things more seriously than my boss a lot of the time and find his dismissive way frustrating.

    In this particular case I’d been promised a big pay rise for producing a certain amount of turn-over – there was no deadline to it, but I started on pretty low wages and over the last couple of years we’ve built the business so it can pay more – one of the clients is public sector so instead of paying monthly wanted to pay 12 months in advance which was great – he said “ah yeah, I don’t think I can count that as turnover, I’ll only spend it on something” and I lost my shit completely (pay rise meant moving home and my house was far too small for my family) he hadn’t really considered the target, and had no intention of not paying me more, it was a throwaway comment that caught me at the wrong time and I snapped and kicked the balls out of my desk and broke a leg (of the desk).

    It was cool and we saw the funny side, it’s not his fault, but my last employer ripped me off for a decent pile of cash a couple of years ago by claiming a load of bullshit excuses and when I complained they may me redundant under false pretences to avoid paying me.

    scotroutes
    Full Member

    Who was the subject of your righteous fury, and why?

    Usually me

    gatsby
    Free Member

    Some twunt cut me up this morning on a moped then wouldn’t let me past in my Picasso… Wanted to bare-knuckle the little pillock…

    willard
    Full Member

    I never do this at work, it’s completely unprofessional and a sure fire way to be top of the list for being ignored (at best) or fired (at worst).

    I have, however, got very angry with my wife recently, which I’m not proud of, but which was for understandable reasons. That does not excuse my behaviour though.

    nickewen
    Free Member

    Ha! There’s nowt more entertaining than watching someone properly lose the plot like – one of the best spectator sports.

    Last time for me was a week ago in a hire car on my own in Amsterdam. All was well – heading back to Schiphol to drop the motor and diligently following the sat nav. The navigation was fairly shite (small screen, poor fonts, etc.) but I’d gotten used to it over 3 days..

    Anyway, as I approached the airport the motorway broadened to 6 or 7 lanes with a few different destinations. Just as I approached this a message covered the whole screen and the car said something like “please connect your phone to the system for SOS emergencies”. Could I **** get the message to disappear! I lost it big time and SCREAMED like a loon for a good 2 mins or so. **** off ******* piece of **** car, why the **** would I want to connect my ****** phone etc. etc. I was Punching the dashboard the full works. I somehow managed to guess the correct lane/exit but I was wiping my spit off the inside of the windscreen when I got back to the hire car place.

    nickc
    Full Member

    wildly gesticulating like an angry italian tomato.

    😆

    Last weekend…proper lost it at a woman who’s dog ran under my wheels on the sheep track descent off the Pike…I went OTB, and she just stood there watching…

    me: Is that your f&^%ing dog?
    her: there’s no need to swear.
    me: OH, I think you’ll find there’s every need to swear…

    I’m not proud TBH 😳

    lemonysam
    Free Member

    Usually myself. I say usually, I can only think of one real, proper hissy fit – I fell off an easy boulder problem a dozen times then screamed, punched the rock, punched myself in the face and threw my shoes so far it took me 20 minutes to find them.

    I’m very laid back really.

    ti_pin_man
    Free Member

    fair few years back I was driving to an office location hour and half from home every day, one way, had done it year and half and took the role knowing this and knowing it was the right job as it got me up the greasy ladder. But didn’t get on with the bean counter pr1ck of a boss and one day he openly said I should work longer hours to finish a reconciliation, I grabbed him and pushed him into his little office and screamed at him for a good five minutes about the hours I did and the time it took to commute and my life was too short to risk my marriage any more and if he didn’t stop pushing me I’d string him up by his b0llox.

    Then left for a walk.

    My team heard every word and quietly slapped me on the back for this, office hero. Redundancy 6 months later. They did me a favour sacking me and he saved his bollox.

    If I saw him today in the street the consequences would mean jail time.

    funkrodent
    Full Member

    Usually laid-back and easy going (too much so really), but there were moments in my relationship with my ex which I’m ashamed to say came pretty close.

    Apart from that a verbal altercation with a driver who cut me up when turning right (came from behind, also turning right and cut inside then across me). Bloke in an open top BMW. I gave him a well-deserved finger. H braked hard in front of me (causing me to slam on), pulled over and declared that he was – and I quote – “Going to give me a right thrashing”.

    6’4″ of righteous anger erupted off the bike and advanced on him shouting incoherently (much swearing), at which point he did the sensible thing and drove off. Most unsatisfying.

    Also a while ago when a staffie attacked my dog when she was playing ball. I gave it a reducer on its arse with the heavy old wooden tennis racket that I found in my dad’s loft. Found myself confronted by the skinhead, tattoo’ed owner who took exception to my robust and effective modus operandi of removing the threat to my dog. “Both dogs were off the lead” says he. “Indeed”, says I “but mine was chasing a tennis ball and yours was trying to kill mine and if your dog attacks mine again, once I’ve dealt with it I’ll wrap this racket around your head, prior to shoving it down your throat” (exact language may have differed slightly). He then threatened to bite off my nose (really) at which point I asked him politely whether he would like to try to back up his words with actions. At which point he retrieved his dog (very wisely sniffing its arse a safe distance away) and left. Happily I’ve never seen him in my local park since, though I always make sure I take the tennis racket. Just in case.. 🙂

    sharkbait
    Free Member

    This morning! Drove around a corner to see a white van turning right [out of a junction on my left] straight in front of me.
    He stopped to inform me that the near collision was, apparently, my fault – I disagreed strongly.

    peterfile
    Free Member

    I’ve never even heard anyone raise their voice at work.

    It’s a fairly tense environment at times so you’d be out the door fairly quickly if you were predisposed to those sorts of episodes.

    When I’m in the car though 😳 It’s the only place on earth where I get angry, something I try daily to correct (to no avail).

    MSP
    Full Member

    I’M RONNIE **** PICKERING!!!!!!!

    spawnofyorkshire
    Full Member

    I don’t think i’ve ever had a big blow-up. In fact i very rarely lose my temper or get angry. I’m an introvert so I internalise it.
    Had it before where I did lose my temper and it was my girlfriend at the time who spotted the look on my face and moved me away. The person who pissed me off didn’t have a clue. GF said i went all quiet and calm and the look in my eyes scared the sh*t out of her

    BigButSlimmerBloke
    Free Member

    Winter on a motorbike, knob end pulled out in front of me. Normally I brush it off, but this time went into full nuclear meltdown mode. He tried to escape up a side street, I chased him and pulled up alongside at the junction to a main road. I tried to flip my visor open to give him the full benefit of my rage but managed to shut the visor instead (new helmet, forgot flip tab was offset to the left). Nevertheless, ranted and raged so much that the visor steamed up and I couldn’t see anything. Well you don’t need to see to rant, rage and point repeatedly, do you? Anyway, in mid rant i remembered where the helmet flip tab was, opened the visor only to find the fekker had gone, leaving me ranting and pointing at nothing, much to the amusement of the traffic which had stopped to watch.

    binners
    Full Member

    I’ve never even heard anyone raise their voice at work.

    Never worked in a ‘creative’ environment then? Its par for the course with the …ahem… more highly strung arty types. Happens all the time. I’ve seen some right old shouting matches. Great fun!

    The reason design agencies employ account handlers is purely to prevent the designers from trying to kill the clients. Which is apparently bad for business 😆

    Cougar
    Full Member

    Dunno, but kudos for “benny.” It’s a neglected term and one I used myself only this morning.

    bongohoohaa
    Free Member

    The reason design agencies employ account handlers is purely to prevent the designers from trying to kill the clients

    Client: Could we have some lens flare?
    Designer: *explodes*

    finbar
    Free Member

    The only examples I can think of are following car drivers cutting me up or insulting me while cycling.

    This was years ago but I remember a guy in a VW shouting that I shouldn’t be in the right hand lane (pretty hard to avoid if I’m turning right…) then trying to run me off the road, then threatening me. It ended up with me throwing my bike on the road in front of his car and shouting “GET OUT AND FIGHT ME YOU B@@@@@D”. He declined.

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    I’ve never even heard anyone raise their voice at work

    Daily occurrence in the construction industry. Language also tends towards the “fruity” end of the scale amongst rufty tufty construction workers.

    I’ve seen a few fist fights at work and once had to restrain an unpaid subcontractor from booting in the office door of the financial director and ” renegotiating his payment terms”

    kimbers
    Full Member

    1st time ever last year

    cycling to work , some guy has to wait at a junction for me, missing a gap in the traffic coming the other way, as im passing his car he revs his engine and edges forward a bit, making me swerve into the road

    fortunately no other cars immediately behind me

    but I just pulled up and lost it, stood infront of his car and started ranting, very pleased i didnt swear as he had his kids in the back i realised as he drove off, beeping his horn

    toby1
    Full Member

    At work I’m known as Mr Angry, but this is never directed at people in the office or in my team, always someone/something external.

    Recently been having trouble with a laptop dock and undocking – hulk smash seems to work, but it does cause a few worried looks in my direction.

    I tend to work out this sort of aggression on the pedals on the way home, usually sprinting the first segment is enough to resolve any thoughts of anger!

    scaled
    Free Member

    I have a 6 month old baby and have done 12 hours of overtime already this month (yep, it’s only the 2nd) and im on call again tonight, with a go-live scheduled for Monday.

    If i don’t get a decent nights sleep between now and then, I may go full on ‘Falling Down’

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    a go-live scheduled for Monday.

    Not Saturday?

    Cougar
    Full Member

    I can’t actually remember the last time I was properly angry at someone. I get cross in the car sometimes, but it’s more frustration than anything; I’m far more likely to shout “OH COME ON!” then go the Full Pickering. The last time I was properly angry to a point where I lost half a night’s sleep to it was because of disgraceful treatment in a hotel, and I stuck it to them with both barrels via a strongly worded email.

    Last time someone lost their shit at me was was in a car accident. I was stationary waiting for a mini-roundabout to clear and someone drove into the back of me. A bald-headed mountain leapt out of the car and started shouting and bawling at me. “Eff all wrong with it mate, eff all wrong with that!” (He didn’t say eff but I’m sure you can fill in the gaps.) I told him it’d have to be reported anyway and he got more and more agitated. His behaviour made no sense so I asked, “Is this an ‘I don’t have any insurance’ conversation?” and he looms over me, gets right in my face and spits “you’re a cocky little see you next Tuesday aren’t you?” Tried to get his details and all he gave me was his first name, then when I tried to take photos of the damage he jumped in his car and shot off. I was in front of him at the time trying to photograph the licence plate, I had to dive out of the way to stopping him running me over. So I went home, fell to pieces and then rang the police.

    retro83
    Free Member

    Last time I properly lost it was at the so called Customer Services (**** LOL) in Argos.

    I’d had a (very expensive) phone for approx 3 days and the GPS & bluetooth stopped working. It was back when these were unusual features and hence I could not afford to buy a replacement.

    Also I was using it to code my dissertation project so it was critical I had it replaced/refunded right away. Surely not a problem after only 3 days of ownership and returned in pristine condition.

    Of course though, that’s far too easy. They wanted to send it away for repair with no knowledge of how long it would take to come back. “Probably less than six weeks but we can’t make any guarantees”

    I was already fuming at this, but then she added helpfully: ‘shame it’s not a toaster, we have to replace those straight away as they’re so essential’.

    WTF I HAVE ALREADY EXPLAINED WHY THIS PHONE IS ABSOF***INGLUTELY ESSENTIAL TO ME BUT I CAN MAKE DO WITHOUT TOAST FOR A FEW DAYS. WHY SAY THAT NOW WHEN I AM CLEARLY ALREADY ABOUT TO JUDO CHOP YOU

    imnotverygood
    Full Member

    When I was a motorbike courier in the West End someone sprinted into the road from a side alley, explaining that it was raining and he didn’t want to get wet. As this had been my 3rd emergency stop in the space of 400 yards (on wet roads) I literally abandoned the bike in the middle of the road and had him pinned up against the wall. After a few minutes of ranting st him I realised I had a small but highly amused audience, so I had to let him go. Funnily enough he was massively bigger than be, but my wrath was truly righteous.

    doris5000
    Full Member

    ranted and raged so much that the visor steamed up and I couldn’t see anything. Well you don’t need to see to rant, rage and point repeatedly, do you? Anyway, in mid rant i remembered where the helmet flip tab was, opened the visor only to find the fekker had gone, leaving me ranting and pointing at nothing, much to the amusement of the traffic which had stopped to watch.

    had a genuine chuckle at that 😆

    binners
    Full Member

    As a former motorbike courier, I’ve gone postal at people a few times.

    I remember some **** in a big beemer pulling out on me. I hit everything, locked it up, and the bike was all over the place. I just about managed to keep it upright and stopped just before I hit him. I shouted at him ‘what the **** did he think he was doing? He looked at me and just casually went ‘awww ****off !’ and drove off.

    I went absolutely ****ing nuclear!!!

    I followed him and pulled up next to him at the next set of red lights. He desperately tried to get his window up as he realised it was me. Not quick enough. I dragged him through the open window by his tie – well as far as I could get him with his seatbelt still on -and we had a full and frank exchange of views regarding both his driving ability and parentage! It was quite one-sided, and he was noticeably less forthright with his opinions than he had been slightly earlier 😀

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    The frequency when driving is increasing. It’ll end in more than tears one day. 😐

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Has anyone ever phoned Her Majesties Revenue and Customs?

    Last time I was on hold for 47 minutes before I got through to some pimply youth who advised me he wasn’t able to talk to me about my tax issue until the next financial year. This was at 7 pm on the 4th of April.
    Gave him both barrels verbally, hung up, launched the phone across the room and stormed about the house in an impotent rage for about an hour. 😡

    bongohoohaa
    Free Member

    Actually. I think I may change my position if Evans Cycles don’t ring me back like they were supposed to…..again.

    It’s almost like it’s my fault they sent me a Ramin 1 with scratched forks and they are punishing me 😐

    binners
    Full Member

    Has anyone ever phoned Her Majesties Revenue and Customs?

    The most incompetent organisation in the world? Who’s Kafka-esque working practices are custom designed to get you absolutely apoplectic with rage?

    Yip. They’ve been at the receiving end of both barrels from me, a few times too

    cfinnimore
    Free Member

    Every single Monday morning at the spectacular ineptitude of unattended, unmanaged weekend staff.

    The resolution is completely out of my hands. This forms part of the benny. The rest of the week is spent constructively problem solving, leading to the weekly Friday evening benny.

    They rank 6 on the benny-o-meter. The lad above me has a grade 9.9 every 47 minutes every day. It’s nice to be the least borderline nutter in a warehouse for once.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    The most incompetent organisation in the world? Who’s Kafka-esque working practices are custom designed to get you absolutely apoplectic with rage?

    Yip. They’ve been at the receiving end of both barrels from me, a few times too
    +1

    Cougar
    Full Member

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    The most incompetent organisation in the world? Who’s Kafka-esque working practices are custom designed to get you absolutely apoplectic with rage?

    It’s not the even their incompetence that’s the worst bit.
    It’s that fact that no matter, how calm and reasonable YOU are or, indeed, if you become a mushroom cloud laying M*****F*****, IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE.
    Your input is completely extraneous to the whole process.
    It’s the impotence of your own rage that burns you up.
    Righteous in the extreme but fundamentally useless.

    It’s like talking to the Borg. Resistance is Futile.

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