Not that I’m desperately seeking reassurance or anything.

I seem to have had what can only accurately be described as an epic flounce! The kind that normally occurs after someone has been baited over 6 pages on here.

Long story short. Started a job just over a year ago which hasn’t exactly panned out as it promised. In fact, the job I’ve ended up doing bears only the most cursory, passing resemblance to the original job description. Over the year I’ve repeatedly voiced my concerns about this, but its fallen on deaf ears. The problem is that people here are about as receptive to change (which is what I was brought here to do) as if I’d walked into a Mayfair Gentlemen’s Club and informed them that as from this afternoon we’ll be admitting women members. And I’ve invited the local Guardian book club, and LGB group around for drinks. And I’ve had sod all support from the people who brought me in the first place!!

So after two “OH FFS!!!” incidents in quick succession, I had a ‘right……**** this!’ moment, saw me arse, and went a bit Falling Down!

The upshot of this is I’m now one of the realms of the unemployed, or the self-employed (same thing in a lot of cases) …..

Which has provided a moment of reflection and contemplation. Not that I’m overly concerned. I’ve got loads of contacts, and I freelanced and ran my own business for years, and I’ve already got work on for next week, however…..

just for the hell of it, lets hear your stories of your massive strops, and barneies? Your epic flounces, and ‘you can stick your ****ing job up your ****ing **** moments! There must be loads. Theres some right prima donnas on here (myself included) 😉 Oh…… preferable ending with the words ‘best decision I’ve ever made….”, “I’ve never looked back….” etc….. 😀

GO!

Left a job about 13 years ago now to move to a more senior position, albeit with a smaller company.

I lasted about 6 weeks. The level of incompetence, power stuggles and insane bureaucracy was absolutely staggering. For example, if I wanted to replenish the paper in the photocopier, I had to fill out a form and take it to a woman in accounts who would then give me a new pack of A4.

My department was a shambles so I introduced some process improvements and generally got things going in a better direction. This irked others intensely. The crowning moment was having another department head shaking with anger as she screamed in my face and I tried not to laugh.

I went back to my desk and quietly packed up my stuff. Left at 5pm and never went back. They went out of business a few months later, much to no ones surprise.

I don’t do toys out. I do passive aggressive ‘doing f** all’ for months then getting the shove.

On reflection, ‘toys out’ is far healthier if you’re in a job than isn’t working out. You lasted a year at least, shows some staying power.

No epics here. I’ve always chickened out at the last moment. I did however format a laptop hard drive full of important stuff when I got “made redundant” once. Opened it up, typed “format c:” (or whatever you had to type in DOS back in the 90s) and left it formatting in the same office as we all (including my weasel of a boss) sat. The damage was done by the time I heard them panicking upstairs as I exited stage left. I then took all the paperwork for the mahoosive manual I’d been working on home and burned it. 😀

I did get up from a job interview once asking them why the **** we were both still talking to one another.

And I’ve invited the local Guardian book club

To your work? 😆

I lasted 3 weeks at one place. Was coming out of a few months off (after wedding, travel and amicably leaving my last job) and it came up, sounded like a nice company, interview was fine.

Job was terrible. Wasn’t quite sure how I’d misjudged it so badly. Knew for sure it wasn’t for me after a couple of days, but kept on interviewing elsewhere and as I’d not been earning for a little while, it was good to keep something coming in. Just bit my tongue and tried to keep my head down. If it weren’t for that I’d probably have not bothered coming back after day 2.

Eventually got fired (well, told it wasn’t working out) as I was being so “unhelpful”. Which I think was referring to twice not going to the 7pm team meetings because I had other things on. Still got paid for the three weeks plus 4 weeks notice though!

Had an interview at 10am the following day for the awesome company that I now work for. So not all bad.

At least its the kind of job that allows you to post random shite on here all day [ so is mine ]

Posting random shite on here all day is probably the only thing that’s kept me sane. That and the local bakery which does the best sausage rolls in the world. Oh… and the off-road commute, via Lee Quarry, home. I’ll miss that in the summer.

Mind you… I suppose I can now just sod off out on the bike whenever I fancy really 😀

That’s pants, Binners…but well done for sticking two fingers up.

I had to endure six years in an accountancy firm. Awful. Every office has it’s alpha male, the bloke who’s utterly devoid of any redeeming features and can only talk about shagging and football in between attempting to bully staff?

I had six of the buggers to contend with. Women were only hired if they looked pretty and had to endure constant “banter”. Those that didn’t make the grade were bullied out of the firm.

Thankfully my role didn’t require me to interact with these neanderthals too frequently, but I felt my soul shrivel a little bit each and every day I spent there. The day I resigned was one of the most satisfying moments in my career and I’ve never looked back.

They started with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, they hung a banana on a string with a set of stairs placed under it. Before long, a monkey went to the stairs and started to climb towards the banana. As soon as he started up the stairs, all of the other monkeys were sprayed with ice cold water.

After a while, another monkey made an attempt to obtain the banana. As soon as his foot touched the stairs, all of the other monkeys were sprayed with ice cold water. It’s wasn’t long before all of the other monkeys would physically prevent any monkey from climbing the stairs.

Now, the psychologists shut off the cold water, removed one monkey from the cage and replaced it with a new one. The new monkey saw the banana and started to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attacked him. After another attempt and attack, he discovered that if he tried to climb the stairs, he would be assaulted.

Next they removed another of the original five monkeys and replaced it with a new one. The newcomer went to the stairs and was attacked. The previous newcomer took part in the punishment with enthusiasm, even though he had no idea why!

Likewise, they replaced a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey tried to climb the stairs, he was attacked. The monkeys had no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they were beating any monkey that tried.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys had ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approached the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been around here.

Some days, I am that last monkey. Brought in to effect change, but sprayed with cold water and attacked on a regular basis. A few times have been close to the flounce, but I need the money!

sounded like a nice company, interview was fine.Job was terrible. Wasn’t quite sure how I’d misjudged it so badly. Knew for sure it wasn’t for me after a couple of days

Are you me? Joined a small company from a large corporate, who were looking to ‘step Up’ ‘Grow’, ‘Change’, all those positive words…Interview was fine, First inkling a couple of days into job when director 1 took exception to me having 1-2-1 meeting (without him) with the staff.

Started to draw up policies and procedures, realised that the 2 people that weren’t keen on change at all were the 2 directors. Was supposed to earn bonus of profitability but was refused sight of management or monthly accts and any sort of budgets or sales forecasting (told it wasn’t something I needed to worry about)

Realised shortly afterwards that the two directors were 1. a bully and 2. a sociopath (with a white-knight complex) the later was the worse. Would subversively create all the issues stirring up staff and so on, which he would then “resolve”

After I took a days’ leave and a got an email shit-o-gram from one of the directors sent at half midnight for being “intentionally out of contact”, I handed in my notice the following day. I was threatened later with their lawyers for “breaching company confidentiality” ! Just how I managed that wasn’t made clear, and it turned out to be empty threats anyway…Tossers

Burst out laughing in a (bike trade) interview once, when they told me the basic wage was something like 15k plus performance bonuses – then it became clear that all of those performance targets were global or team performance, not one of them was something you could actually directly achieve yourself.

I tend not to flounce but whinge and gripe, then start an unofficial work to rule (though that may be because I generally ended up getting into trouble for bending rules that were complete bollocks to try and get the job done and make the customer happy in the first place, so I say Fukit and do it their way, generally resulting in everything going to sh**.

I’ve learnt the hard way that if you’re the kind of person who thinks for themselves and is happy to try and instigate change, then you’re one of those monkeys. From what I see of Binners’ posts, he’s too clear-eyed about the reality of life to survive long anywhere there’s power being misused – which is pretty much every office everywhere!

The best solution I’ve found is to be a self-employed contractor – people get less upset when you don’t follow the unspoken rules. In fact I get the distinct impression some people use me to unsettle the incumbents. It can be quite amusing sometimes 🙂

I’ve never flounced. I keep my opinions to myself and just hunker on down or get out. Flouncing isn’t a great option IMO it’s not a great reputation builder.

Good on you binners for having the strength/guts to not just be unhappy/trudge along 😀

BTW- the second image you posted ^ was unemployed for helping herself to OAP’s savings not on principles….

My last boss was amazing at throwing her toys out:

Two days before a preliminary inspection, she had a huge tantrum when her driver was fired, and she hadn’t been the one to fire him.

She had just brought over a lady to do a 360 review of the school as well, as the inspectors, a lady that had known her for several years.

She stormed out of work, saying she was going home, which could have meant her flat in UB or her house in NZ, we didn’t know.

Left us there, wondering what to do next, and so we just got on with it, entertained the lady who was lovely, and prepared for the inspectors. The owners asked if I could run the place, said yes, and that was that. She returned three days later just as the inspectors had arrived, although the owners had picked them up and they already knew the story by then.

She had really **** things up several months before when she drank four bottles of wine in front of the owners when we were at a conference, and then tried it on with the male owner of the school.

Any time she didn’t get her own way she would be off sick or late to work. On average she was on time once a week, great example.

She threw her toys out shortly after I left and the academic year started, and the owners just sacked her.

It was like working with a petulant child.

We had all these talked about leading by example, and yet she spent her weekends getting wasted with the staff, shagging the 21 year old Year 1 teacher and stealing things from pubs.

When she split up with the 21 year old she had a huge tantrum and was horribe to him for months.

Positives from it? I learnt how to manage difficult people and manipulate the situation to the advantage of the school and kids there.

**** me it was hard graft.

I will try not to remember the morning she bent over her desk in the office during a meeting and winked at us all sat there at the meeting table, and not with the eyes on her head – this was during the meeting where we had to discuss staff dress code.

FOUR bottles of wine?

Funny this thread, I’ve just come back from the loo’s after having a chat with one of my mates and feeling like doing exactly the same thing. In fact I thought “I’ll go on STW and start a thread on it and see if I can get you guys to talk me out of it.” COINCIDENCE!!

Reasons to quit:
– My lovely boss has been moved sideways and we have a the current non specialist proj manager type taking over the running of the show. Unsure how I am going to get on with him as a boss as so far as a colleague he has royally peeved me.
– I’ve been acting in a role for the last 7 months that, despite not wanting a pay rise, I have just asked for the paper recognition-ie a change in title, and have been turned down.
– They are vacillating as to whether to contract out my role anyway and are just using me to prepare the ground for the external agency to do my job. If I quit now they will find things difficult. Feels kinda evil but its somehow attractive.
– I have plenty of freelance work to be going on with.
– I have 3 potential (but not certain) irons in the fire

Reasons to stay
– I’m very well paid
– I love my colleagues, they are great fun to work with.

I will try not to remember the morning she bent over her desk in the office during a meeting and winked at us all sat there at the meeting table, and not with the eyes on her head

How did she wink?

+1

😯

^ She was wearing a short skirt, no underwear and in the process of bending over the desk to get something, as the five of us that made up the rest of the management team sat there, we all looked up at the same time to have see all, and hear the wind whistling through her lips.

You try keeping a straight face after that has happened.

Crikey.

wrecker said »
How did she wink?
+1

I think its an equestrian term for the display a mare makes when she is in heat. doesnt leave anything to the imagination if you’ve ever seen it.

^ That wasn’t the first thought that went through my head – it was – as I am the person she trusts the most in the room, should I tell her or not.

I chose not.

I have just about blocked out the married man at the conference incident, where after banging some married man, he phoned to ask me to get her out of the hotel room as she was in a state and couldn’t remember her room number – had to go get her, then, I kid you not, sneak her into the owners (female) hotel room at4:30am and get her into bed without disturbing the owner, who was asleep in there in the pitch dark with those blakout curtains drawn. I managed it, and got her undressed so she wasn’t caught out in the morning when we got up for the conference day 2.

I think its an equestrian term for the display a mare makes when she is in heat. doesnt leave anything to the imagination if you’ve ever seen it.

Thank you Smudge, I wondered why I used that term, must have picked it up off my first girlfriend 20 odd years ago, she was a horsey type.

I was once a team leader – i know imagine!!

Anyway I was forced to employ someone so they could “fail” and then be sacked

After about a month i ended up starting each day by giving him a to do list – this person had done the job for about 15 years BTW 😯
It was hard to tell if he really was thick as shit or he was taking the piss tbh

At one meeting after explaining to him again how to do his job he asked me in what order to do his tasks. That was it I flipped I screamed,I swore, I called him a moron , I thumped the desk, stormed out and slammed the door. Storming down the corridor only then did I realise I had stropped out my own office and let the moron in there. He did not even leave he just sat there the idiot.

I thumped the desk, stormed out and slammed the door. Storming down the corridor only then did I realise I had stropped out my own office and let the moron in there.

More flounce than a turkey on a trampoline 🙂

At one meeting after explaining to him again how to do his job he asked me in what order to do his tasks. That was it I flipped I screamed,I swore, I called him a moron , I thumped the desk, stormed out and slammed the door. Storming down the corridor only then did I realise I had stropped out my own office and let the moron in there. He did not even leave he just sat there the idiot.

Ha! My wife told me how she had once delivered an almighty bollocking to some neanderthal for doing something stupid, then stormed off, jumped into her car then realised she’d got in the back. She doesn’t know why she did it, and they were all watching her as she sat in the back of her car alone wondering how to not look stupid.

Nothing in the grown up world.
But my first job was a Saturday boy in the fruit and veg department in the local Asda.
I’d been saving up for nearly a year to get my first MTB. Earlier that week I’d finally got it. So I came in on Sat 08:00 as usualy with the new bike. Department manager was being a dick about letting me have 2 Saturdays off for the family holiday (I was 16ish) and parents didn’t want me home alone. I’d given him plenty of warning and he’d evaded giving me an answer.
So he says you can’t have the time off, so I explained to him AGAIN and he tells me if I take the time off I’ll be sacked on my return. So I pulled my tie off handed it to him and told him “you know what you can do with your job then”. Walked off, him panicking whilst I collected my new bike and went home.
It cost me £100 for outstanding holiday money I was due at the time, but because I’d left before the end of the day I wasn’t due it. Best £100 I’ve ever spent just to drop that weasel in the shit.

Most of the times I’ve left a job it’s been under epic flounce conditions 😉

1. Boss left a paper on his desk detailing how much the graduates were getting, it was the same as me (I’d been there about 4 years). I suspect he did it on purpose as he would have no choice over how much they were paid and it would have offended his ultra-scouse, ultra-union perspective. I left a note on top of that saying ‘I resign’, walked into a job in less than a week which paid about £5k more.

2. My longest employment ended after a year or so of insane working hours. Utterly crazy stuff with people going off with nervous breakdowns and stress. 70 hour weeks were the norm, most of us did way more than that. I remember working non-stop for 24 hours a number of times. I repeatedly asked for more staff, evidenced how much work we were all doing clearly, created job descriptions and role profiles, said I’d conduct the interviews. Nothing. Eventually I took any job I could to get out, my boss phoned up to ask why and I ranted down the phone at him for a good ten minutes. Very loudly. With swearing.

3. That took me to the DWP. Honestly, the 24 hour days were better. Horrible, horrible experience. About 5 people all doing exactly the same job which could have been done by 1 part timer with a sleep condition. The other 4 loved it. They did very little before I got there and even less once I’d arrived. I craved anything to do so would grab each item of work and spend as much time as I could on it. In six months I reckon I did a weeks worth of useful work. Oh, and I had to work in Blackpool or Newcastle, not Warrington where I was interviewed where at no point had they said I’d be in Blackpool or Newcastle. And my boss was the weakest, most useless individual I’ve ever met. Waste of space. I had to drive him with a rod up his back. I begged for more work, begged to be relocated to Warrington, begged to be given some actual responsibility, begged to be allowed to drive changes through…nothing. We had an interesting ‘why i’m leaving’ chat. He said I had to work 3 months notice so knowing how weak he was I just said I was working a month and he would need to sort it with HR. Which he did.

Very happy where I am now. Lets hope that continues.

I got so pissed off at work once I grabbed my bag and wandered across the road to the pub (this was in the days before everyone had a mobile phone, and I was a late adopter). Sat there and got drunk the rest of the afternoon and early evening, then slunk home.

Decide to brave it out at work the next morning, when the regret had set in.

Nobody said a word. Didn’t ask where I had been, didn’t comment in any way on my absence. I am not sure if they didn’t notice or decided to let me have that one.

Massive lesson there in perspective (I was young !). Turns out everything isn’t about ME after all, what do you know ?

I was last tempted to walk out when I found out that a change in the company employment agreement meant that any persons with a fixed term contract longer than 6 months could be sacked without notice or reason.

I checked it out with lawyers at my union and it’s very legal over here!

I have what I laugh about now as a 12 month blip in an otherwise pretty good working life thus far.

I could write chapter & verse about my experience. The alarm bells were going off almost from the start, but I chose to ignore them because it ‘could’ have been a great opportunity.

Sadly it was anything but – I turned out to be an awkward, argumentative & difficult employee, because in life you reap what you sow. If a business can’t even get the basics right there is little hope, coupled with a complete lack of support & direction, staff lose interest very quickly.

I was fortunate, in my previous employer had very much left the door open for me to return. In the end, almost 12 months to the start day we had a little chat & I left. I could have had a big flounce, and got angry, but the reality was I didn’t give a sh*t. I’d spent 5 months doing very little work & had no interest in anything they had to say.

No regrets though, it taught me a lot about how staff react to a sh*t manager 🙂

The only time I have been close to throwing toys out of the pram was in a 1-2-1 with my former boss (“sadly” no longer with the company). Very loudly dropping the C-bomb and slamming the phone down so hard it bounced off the desk was not a good thing to do.

The truth of the matter is, if you flounce or shout or scream, people will just never buy from you or take you seriously again. Be nice, smile, then go home and kick the living shit out of the MMA dummy in the spare room.

Never lost it, but did deck a colleague who had been winding me up for two years. Stay calm, the punches will connect so much better.

Erm, I think decking a colleague probably counts as losing it.

Erm, inviting the Guardian Book Club into your work place probably counts as “WTF is this new guy doing” Proper 😆

You did read binners post properly didn’t you.

You did read binners post properly didn’t you.

Do you remember the first rule of STW Club? Do not under any circumstances read the whole of the OP before posting.

Well it’s nice to feel vindicated. This morning it all went off at my former employer. One of the directors, a textbook example of Small Bloke Syndrome, still completely pissed from some industry awards ceremony last night, was apparently marching around the office, selecting random individuals, telling them how ****ing useless they were*, and drunkenly, and swearily demanding their resignations 8

Apparently he reduced some people to tears with his vitriolic personal abuse, and had massive stand up shouting matches with others. All in the middle of the office. Looks like the HR department is in for a busy old day!

Seems like I made the right decision to get the **** out of Dodge earlier in the week. Phew! 😀

* to be fair to him, he’s got a point. Most of them are ****ing useless

Let us know if you get chance for a cheeky ride next week bin bins. I’m off work Weds and Thurs 8)