To the OP: I am so sorry that your sensible and perfectly valid post, with a serious question deserving of respect and consideration, has been hijacked due to my utterly irresponsible and reprehensible behaviour.
I also find it regrettable and disturbing that other seem to think this kind of behaviour has elicited what appears to be almost congratulatory responses. As though certain individuals seem to think it’s acceptable for a person to be have in such a disgusting and disrespectful manner.
I’m afraid I cannot offer much in the way of a helpful response to the original query, other than maybe you could try a stiffer spring.
I apologise for my uselessness.