My 43 year sister visited me on Tuesday. She’s gained a lot of fat. Probably 30kg overweight.

I was in Costa when we caught up and quickly popped into a mobile phone shop and was embarrassed to have her by my side.
Although she is wealthy, she’s dressed badly and fat.

Guy helping me at the shop,asked if she was my wife – no way!

Thought about offering advice for training as I was fat too but dropped 52kg and eat sensibly now.

Or just grow the F- up, none of our business and stop being so prejudiced.

I’m one of the people you mock and hate

You sound like a very nice person.

that’s your sister dude

I feel bad.

You don’t have to like the way other people look, and you don’t need to buy into the self-deluding “but I don’t eat a thing” stuff, but I think you owe it to them to be courteous and respectful and not fat-shame them.

I feel bad.

Have a donut

obvious

if not then

Or just grow the F- up, none of our business and stop being so prejudiced.

this.

I was in Costa when we caught up and quickly popped into a mobile phone shop and was embarrassed to have her by my side.
Although she is wealthy, she’s dressed badly and fat.

You sound like such a lovely person.

everyone deserves to be treated with courtesy and respect, really.

Pretty much covers it.

I feel bad.

But at least you look good, unlike those chubby types 🙂

Maybe losing 52Kg makes you like the fattie version of an ex smoker, that is quite a lot to lose. I weigh about 70Kg and no one wants to carry me around!

I admire your honesty but man that’s pretty harsh!

My best mate and my brother have got a bit fat. (Both due to illness, to be honest). Man, they’re lovely guys to hug now! 😀

Sister of Frankenstein needs a hug!

This thread will deliver. Well done OP.

*puts hand up*

Don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t philander, work hard and look after my kids.

A man’s got to have one vice and mine’s bad bad, greasy sugary food.

If it wasn’t for bikes I’d be the size of a bungalow by now.

Also….

[video]https://youtu.be/qr89yq2wC9o[/video]

Given the long term health issues associated with obesity you have a right to be concerned about your sisters weight. Of course trying to give advice is never easy. She may be happy with her weight and not appreciate your advice. OTOH say nothing and there’s the risk she might come at you in a few years and ask why you just stood back and let her get on with it.

She’s gained a lot of fat. Probably 30kg overweight.

I read that as overnight and was having a WTF moment!

30kg overweight? And you lost 52kg….. Sheet.

About 3/4 of the women on my mother’s side of the family are overweight. They insist that their type 2 diabetes is hereditary and not brought on by their inactive, gluttonous, car dependent lifestyles.

It makes me cringe.

But there are so many fatties on the island.
Not saying there are no fatties in Germany, but the ones you see are more noticeable as they are the exception.
Although rarely see a fat Italian or Spaniard.

Apparently one of the fattist sentiments is because people subconciously associated fat people with carrying disease.

Also being fat has an implication of possible sloth.

I saw a documentary on liposuction years ago and that showed the fat being sucked out of a womens backside, and that has definitely helped make me a bit fattist.

A friend is a GP who reckons that the percentage of people that are fat because of medical conditions is pretty small and most people use it as an excuse.

The percentage of fat people with medical conditions brought on by their fattness is higher though, and in that instance it is self-induced.

I like eating but I put a brake on it and lose some weight when I need to.

So overall I am fattist but, like every other possible prejudice I might have, will take an individual at face value.

why make this her problem?

It’s the OPs problem s/he lost 52kg weight so do the right thing, get back on the greggs and crisps, get the new “badly dressed” styles and then you’ll both look the same again. Not sure how to even up on the wealth though – maybe ask her for a loan?

Interesting topic.

Personally, I’m a laissez faire kind of guy when it comes to other people and what they do. None of my business.
To be fair most people are overweight. ‘Normal’ weight people seem slim.

I don’t find overweight people attractive, so it would put me off in that sense.

But Scotroutes is right – being overweight is bad for your health. So if it’s someone you care about (i.e. sister) then try to be constructive. They know they’re overweight, you don’t need to tell them, but suggest going out for a bike ride sometimes?
Or for the OP, if you did well to lose all that weight then talk to your sister about how you did it?

scotroutes

OTOH say nothing and there’s the risk she might come at you in a few years and ask why you just stood back and let her get on with it.

+1. She might be nearing a tipping point which can creep up on women (particularly shorter women) rather quickly. Up to a certain weight they are mobile enough that they can do something about it but past it they are stuck for life.

This happened with a close relation of mine condemning her husband and children to a life as her carer. Watched a similar thing happen with my brother in laws fiancee too.

So, what phone did you buy?

iPhone 7 plus 256gb (replacing the dodgy one from last week).

I think looking deeply, it’s not fat people, it’s my mind and the person I hated looking back me when obese and depressed. It’s horrible and the last thing they need is to be treated badly.

I would be the first to step up to defend anyone if they were a victim, if someone hurled prejudice abuse at them – but that’s no different to saying I’m not racist but…

Think I’m just shocked by the way I acted/felt/prejudiced.

I’ll change my mindset but I don’t hate. Had to get it off my chest.

alpin – Member
30kg overweight? And you lost 52kg….. Sheet.

I was stressed, working 6.5 days a week, 8am-2300, no riding, fat and full of excuses.

I stopped blaming anyone but myself, chose to eat less, healthy, be active and ride 150 miles hard. It was the hardest mental thing I’ve done.

I feel ashamed and will not be embarrassed again or think that way. I was just surprised I acted like that.

Frankenstein, you sound like a ****…imho

I have been at both ends of the scale 6ft 4” at 16 stone, and at 23 stone. I am happy when heavier.

currently 20 stone

I am fattist fattest.

Its one of those people are free to overeat , smoke, get drunk as they see fit

Overweight is not a look I like[ in the I would want to get jiggy with you way] but it does not make me dislike a person.

Ton – it’s not fat people.

It’s me.

It’s how I used see myself and reminds me of how I used to be and how I hated myself when I’m not really embarrassed or have anything against fat people.

I’m not defending myself, I need to and will change my thinking.

I’m ashamed how I acted, that’s all.

52kg is over eight stone! 😯

How the hell do you put on that much weight to have to lose it anyway? Sounds like you have ‘issues’!

edit: that was written before I saw the post above.

don’t understand the ‘ hated myself when fat’ stuff.

some people are very happy with being overweight, hell some can even ride bikes and stuff…… 😕

jebus Frankenstein aint you on the STW naughty step.

If it was my sister I’d have a word, you’ll be doing both her and the NHS a favour (although the local takeaway might mourn the loss).

Maybe he cant get his arms around her!!!
🙂

I’m over-weight, I’m perfectly healthy, workout 3 times a week, ride, but I’m over weight.

I’m slightly torn on the subject, it is NOT cool to be prejudice to people who are over-weight, it seems to me the very sort of person who like to ‘fat shame’ people would have been picking on the Asian’s and Black People 20 years ago, they’re looking for a victim, they’re cowards really – no one I don’t know has ever said anything mean to me about my weight – I think because I’m Male, because I’m of ‘fighting age’ and I’m confident – they like to pick on the female, the old, the weak and the shy. I’ve seen it happen to someone who was, if anything less fat then me, just they looked like they’d cower and I won’t.

Oh the other hand…

Sometimes the tolerance goes too far, there is no honour in being obese and unfit, it is as dangerous to your health as smoking and drinking too much, it will make you unhappy because of the things it does to your brain, you will die younger and in pain from ruined joints. If you are badly overweight (I’m not talking about a bit of a muffin top here, but difficultly walking upstairs fat) ‘the world’ should not be telling you you’re doing okay. That’s not tolerance, that’s enabling. But it doesn’t need some stick thin Gym pussy shouting at you in the supermarket.

‘Fatties’ seems like a unnecessarily offensive way to describe people imho. Just seems purposely derogatory, when you could use ‘fat people’ or ‘overweight people’. Not that far away from using racist terminology rather than ‘people from Pakistan’ etc, again imho. The argument about people not being able to decide where there were born, but being able to control their weight doesn’t cut it. It’s a pretty poor person that judges someone on their weight and appearance, rather than by their actions, behaviour and merits. Does being overweight (or in other ways not to your liking) completely negate all other attributes they may have?

Before you ask, my weight puts me in the ‘normal’ range :roll:.

OP do you have any fat (Male) friends, or would you feel it reflected badly on you to be associated with them? Seems like a deranged form of vanity to me. You are not at school anymore…it’s okay not to only hang with the cool kids.

Rightly or wrongly, I do get quite judgemental when I see people who are so overweight that they struggle to do the simplest of things like walk or climb a flight of stairs, you see some people who can barely lower themselves into a car or get back out again….
While I don’t think everyone should be base jumping/schplonking/mountain biking gods I find it hard to understand the mentality behind letting your body get to the state where you can barely move under your own steam.

My sis-in-law has always struggled with her weight. She’s currently on a massive weight loss charge & fair play to her she’s managed to lose 5stone up to now.
But, years of doing nothing – no exercise at all & being as slovenly as possible has left her body wrecked. She’s got problems with her feet, ankles, knees & back all bought on by being massively overweight & under-toned; there is no muscle there to help her bones support her weight. And she’s smoked for years while having quite bad asthma.
She always blames her situation on the NHS & the doctors not being able to ‘sort it out’ but I don’t think there’s a lot that can be done. She’s basically wrecked her body over the last 20 years & now wants it sorting, but I think it’s too far gone for that.

And that’s the sort of person I struggle to find sympathy for, or understand.
But, I should probably be grateful that I have never got into the mental state that has allowed me to do the same.

Is it ok to be fattist when a big un is sitting next to/on you on a plane?

Ton V Frankenstein, that’d be a great fight!!

Hate the fat, not the person

embrace the fat, black, gay, ugly, loud, timid, shy, mad, thin, fit, slob, so on a so forth

who gives a monkey’s knacker.

Lets be clear here, we are talking about proper big units, not 10-20% over weight.

Frankenstein – Member

Guy helping me at the shop,asked if she was my wife – no way!

Hopefully, if she was thin and hot, you’d have still thought the same because SHE’S YOUR SISTER.