Reached for the aerosol can of halfords fine rubbing compound (great stuff btw), sprayed it on, discovered that actually it was an aerosol can of halfords gloss black paint.

My mum, years ago, in a flap because she was running late for work.

Washed, dressed, downstairs.

In the kitchen, makeup, hair.

Grabbed a can of hairspray, pfffffffsssshshhhhhhh.

Pledge.

She was very late for work that day.

Not quite a fail but almost fatal, I used to be into modifying cars, and doing my own maintenance and so frequently used to have my car jacked up with a trolley and axle stands for various reasons.

Got lazy one day and jacked it up for an oil change or something on the street which had a gentle slope as opposed to the drive that was pretty level.

Was under the car and heard a creeking sound, in hindsight it was the axle stand buckling as the car moved backwards a bit.

I got the hell out of there to watch the front of the car hit the deck.

One squashed axle stand, one new front bumper and one change of underpants were required.

Working on a faulty prototype plasma arc furnace thyristor rectifier, muggins thought he’d fixed it, glossed over why a feedback circuit was running a bit hot, told the customer it was good to go, whereupon it blew every thyristor up as 10’s of KA surged through them owing to the feedback circuit not working properly so the rectifier just opened its taps to 11!

Took months for the plant to be repaired and tested as they had to get new thyristors made at horrendous cost.

prototype plasma arc furnace thyristor rectifier

Possibly the greatest combination of words ever. Dickens, Bronte(s): you got nowt on this guy.

In the whole scheme of things, not a massive fail, but feel a bit dim nevertheless.

I have a friend who moved to Bergerac about 3 years ago and have had an open invite to visit. Finally got round to booking to go and visit and am flying out a week on Thursday. Tonight just saw some TV ads for Le Tour, so thought I’d have a quick glance at the official website only to see that Stage 10 ends in Bergerac on July 11th – the day my flight returns to the UK, departing a few hours before the race hits Bergerac
🙁

My sister was getting married and her bridesmaid arranging her hen night emailed me the invite for my wife to go as she didn’t have her email address. I forwarded it on but said my sister had a unique skill of attracting total tossers for friends and I’d think of a way to get her out of having to go. Only I didn’t press toward, I pressed reply…..reply to all.

Made for an interesting wedding day. We went for getting very drunk very fast as the only way to survive the death stares.

Didn’t put my elbow pads on as it was a hot day.

parental guidance recommend

lucorave – Member

Didn’t put my elbow pads on as it was a hot day.

parental guidance recommend
Posted 46 minutes ago # Report-Post

Ouufff…. More than parental guidance!!!!!! Not for the weak of constitution. Like wot I am…..

Hmm, that looked ripe for infection, oozing and puss extraction. Bleurgh!

Failed to clip in pulling away on a hill, foot slipped off pedal, back of leg ripped open by chainring, trip to hospital (in police dog van!!), surgery, plaster another summer on crutches.

Riding along on a warm day. Sat up no-hands to get a bit more airflow. Thought “this no-hands is easy – I wonder if I can take my jumper off while riding?”

Turns out it’s harder than you’d think to ride a bike no-hands when you can’t see or reach the bars.

I’ve still got the chainring scar on my ankle.

Riding along on a warm day. Sat up no-hands to get a bit more airflow. Thought “this no-hands is easy – I wonder if I can take my jumper off while riding?”

Turns out it’s harder than you’d think to ride a bike no-hands when you can’t see or reach the bars.

I’ve still got the chainring scar on my ankle.

My variation on this was hunting around in my back pocket for my phone, hand getting stuck in the pocket and the devil on my shoulder saying the solution was to shove the other hand in there too then introducing a pothole. Landing on tarmac without hands to protect you is messy.

The consequence of an epic fail do ?

Chinese Gybe in 35knts into a mark in a 5mtr rolling swell, I was on the kite sheet, mate on the lazy ready for the takeup, helm couldn’t hold the helm and let go of the wheel and round she went.. boom came over at an alarming rate and smacked me square in the face and I flew backwards out of the yacht into the drink.
Broken jaw, lost my front teeth, broken nose, in the water semi unconscious leaving a trail of blood about 50mtrs.. at least it was daylight in bright sunny conditions yeah 🙁

I went to a Fall gig once.

Riding along on a warm day. Sat up no-hands to get a bit more airflow. Thought “this no-hands is easy – I wonder if I can take my jumper off while riding?”

Turns out it’s harder than you’d think to ride a bike no-hands when you can’t see or reach the bars.

I’ve still got the chainring scar on my ankle.

My variation involves thinking about what would happen if I swapped my hands round on the bars. Muscle memory, that’s what, correcting the wrong way and hitting the deck in an instant. I was only a youth though, so bounced better them days.

A few weeks ago I noticed the wooden platform holding 2 water butts was rotten so emptied butts and disconnected drain pipe. Hadn’t rained for weeks so no rush to fix.
Well today it rained a lot, the disconnected drain pipe flooded an area including the shed. Whilst trying to route the drain pipe section away I directed the full flow down my jacket sleeve and in to my pants. A lot of water comes off a roof when it’s raining heavily!

joat – Member

My variation involves thinking about what would happen if I swapped my hands round on the bars. Muscle memory

Several times a day for the last 3 days, I’ve stabbed myself in the tongue with a needle because of muscle memory. This one takes a bit of explaining, so settle down kids and let grandpa sore-mouth tell the tale…

I’m a diabetic on insulin, and for about 10 years, I’ve injected myself 4-5 times a day with an insulin pen, using disposable screw on needles. They were like this:

The routine’s simple- tear off the foil cover, screw the needle onto the pen, remove the outer cap with my left hand then pull the inner protective cap off with my teeth. Do injection, put outer cap on for safe handling, spit inner cap into my hand. 10000 repeats, I could do it in a coma.

But they’ve just changed my supplier, to a new needle that doesn’t have the inner protective cap. So the routine’s simple- tear off the foil cover, screw the needle onto the pen, remove the outer cap with my left hand then stab myself in the tongue with the exposed needle.

Muscle memory’s a bitch

Sorry northwind but that made me laugh.