not that i have.

a bloke i worked with for 8yrs hung himself yesterday.
married bloke 38yrs old with a teenage daughter.
his wife had just left him and he was drinking a fair bit.

bit shocked, he never seemed to be a bloke who would let it get on top of him.

You dont think some one with those problems in their life would consider suicide?

Have I considered suicide, yes I have, I think its sad that peoples lives get that sh!t that they see it as the better option. Very brave thing to do too.

Very sad though

I haven’t but like you I’ve experienced it. Worst bit was the guy seemed to me to be happy,always bouncy,chatty,positive and have everything he wanted in life. Walked down a field and blew his brains out with a shot gun leaving a wife and two teenage girls behind. Why ? He had no major money worries and a caring family who miss him every single day.

I think most people flirt with the idea at some point, I have never considered it seriously – although my ex-girlfriend nearly pulled it off.

btw it’s “hanged” not hung

Very brave thing to do too

Is it ****. Very selfish thing to do.

i agree with sc-xc.
he was still seeing his daughter on a weekly basis.
imagine how the kid feels.

Yes, that’s all i’m going to say, apart from those who think it’s selfish i hope you never experience how low mental health issues can make you feel

maybe i am being a bit harsh saying it was selfish.
i just cant understand a bloke with kids, who he was still spending time with, wanting to do this.

No but otherwise what Houns said. I used to think it was selfish but I think I was being a bit of a cock.

I am with Houns on this one. I can see or understand why some people see it is a selfish act, but unless you have personally experienced severe and debilitating mental illness then you have no idea and you never will.

Knowing someone who suffers even if it is your spouse or children does not make you qualified to comment.

About six years ago everything was falling down around my ears, my business, my relationship, was about to be declared bankrupt to the tune of £130K and was riding my motorbike down the M6 and thought seriously about riding it flat out into a bridge stanchion.

Within five seconds I’d weighed it up and though the pain my children would have for the rest of their years would be more than the pain I had. 6 years on and I’ve come through bankruptcy, found the meaning of life and respect money better and still have my children.

I think suicide is a very cowardly way to shit out and leave others behind, however, after seeing my partners very brave mum fight cancer for 2 years and lose, I think I would take myself somewhere neutral and end it to save my loved ones from seeing the big bold happy go lucky me dwindling to a tube fed vegetable.

But each to their own.

It has never, ever entered my mind. That’s not to say that there haven’t been times I’ve been severely depressed, but I guess I’ve always been vaguely optimistic about life.

Edit: after having seen what my mother went through, the terminal illness scenario would likely change my mind.

A very good friend of mine also hung himself, I think his marriage was ending and he couldn’t handle it, I was devastated and angry with him all rolled into one. He left a note in his house when his daughter came home telling her not to go into the garage. He left a daughter and a little boy. I would not of thought he was suicidal, but that’s something you never can tell I suppose.

ton – Member
maybe i am being a bit harsh saying it was selfish.
i just cant understand a bloke with kids, who he was still spending time with,[b] wanting to do this.[/b]

I think here lies part of problem with people’s understanding. People do not want to commit suicide, it is not a matter of choice, they simply feel they have ran out of options. When there are no options and choices left, but one ….

I threw myself off of a 250 foot cliff about 20 years ago..

and miraculously survived..

I had been out of touch with reality and in a very bad place emotionally and spiritually for months leading up to the event.. although no-one around me could have possibly imagined the extent of my troubles..
when you’re that low it’s very hard to want to burden anyone with your sorrow.. and life becomes a living hell that is indescribably lonely.. not only that.. but every day is also a very real life or death war with a formidable and monstrously terrifying enemy that always knows your next move.. yourself..

I wouldn’t consider it again.. not least because I only realised the selfishness of my actions when I awoke in the ICU with my 14 year old brother at the foot of my bed.. greyfaced and shaking and sobbing..

that said it took an extraordinary amount of bravery to do what I did.. more than I thought I had.. ironically I really had to call upon that bravery to see me through the consolidation process with family and friends and the pain I continued to suffer in the many years that followed before I could make peace with myself..

crazy shit man.. thankfully this all happened a long time ago..
I have a family of my own now and I’m a happy go lucky kind of bloke these days.. maybe a bit more thoughtful than before..

I couldn’t imagine for a second allowing myself to get that lost and bewildered again..

Not experienced it first hand, but did a study on it. Based entirely on data from Scandinavia, it would appear that it’s when people have been at rock bottom for a while and for some reason just start to feel a bit better that they commit suicide, as though at the depths of their mental anguish they couldn’t drum up the energy to do it. This only held true for non-violent methods though.

Might sound a bit clinical and emotionless, but it was a very interesting study, and maybe points towards a need to keep an extra eye on those who have been down in the dumps and then start feeling just that little bit more chipper.

Friend of mine had serious mental issues recently. Several of his friends dropped him because, in the words of one, they were “too busy to deal with him” which further isolated him (luckily he’s surrounded by family and some friends did stick around). During one of his downward spirals he’s admitted that he was close to ending it just so he wouldn’t be a burden on those who loved him. He didn’t but it was a close thing by his account.

Can’t see myself doing it, but I understand that there’s times when people feel it’s their only option and I guess the concept that normally quite reasonable people can reach that state is one to be mindful of. It can happen to anyone I think, so I wouldn’t take for granted that people wouldn’t ever get to that level.

I never have but I have lots of friends, probably more than half, that have thought about it in the past – one even told me about it last night.

No one is going to think about it unless it is one of the very few options left and they simply cannot see a way out of whatever predicament they are in. I consider myself extremely lucky never to have found myself in that situation.

I do find it surprisingly easy to empathise with, though. Life’s circumstances can be ridiculously cruel sometimes!!

Rachel

I’ll quickly add that my father hanged himself when I was six.. so my drug addled teenage brain would possibly have had a very different outlook on life to some..

“Is it ****. Very selfish thing to do.”

hmmm. how about the scenario where somebody has been chronically depressed ( I don’t mean just a bit pissed off with a few months off work, some anti depressants and back to work )for years, has no quality of life whatsoever, and is just dragging things on because they dont wish to upset their family or friends? I would say then that It’s quite possibly selfish to pressure that person to just keep banging on through life, wittering about them to “Just get out and ride” “Just cheer up” and all that other banal shit people come out with to you when you suffer from depression.

Many people with self harming tendencies consider that not killing themselves is the selfish option as they can make their loved ones lives easier in the long run by killing themselves.

Also consider that some mental health conditions effectively switch of the common sense filter, People suffering from psychosis in any of it’s three major forms don’t necessarily have any control over a great number of their actions.

Mental health issues always mitigate the ‘selfish’ aspect to suicide.

Yet, as tragic as it is, when someone ‘in their right mind’ chooses to end it all, it is certainly selfish. The father of a friend of mine lost his job and took his own life the very next day. Left two sons behind – one of whom found him hanging from a basement rafter. No one could believe it. To this day, I struggle to understand how someone could identify so strongly with their work that to lose their job meant that they had to end it all. I mean, what does that say to the survivors? ‘You are not part of my identity. All that we have together is not part of my identity. My job: that was my identity.’

That’s just how it came across.

This issue is so complexed and has so many different aspects to it that you could debate it forever.

The bottom line is that our way of life is souless and breeds selfishness, it also leaves a lot of people without any control over thier lives and this causes suffering.

Some people will do anything to have control or to end the suffering!

Our way of life is idiotic and degenerate! say what you want about those who take their own lives, what about those of use that go along with the lunacy ❓

I for one would see a way of life where people have more control over thier own destinies and where they are not put through a psychological meat grinder on a regular basis.

Stress, pollution, all the other shit we have to deal with, day in day out, is it any wonder there is so much mental illness or suicide for that matter.

Without biking or other activities how many of us would be in a bad way ❓ maybe it’s about time we had some competent leadership, shit creek next stop the global shitemare, WTF do you think comes next ❓

Yes, I have considered it an option for years. The closest I came to going through with it was last August.

speaking personally, it definitely was not through any considerations for anyone else that stopped me. I was doing them a favour by saving them the hassle of me! It felt I failed because I didn’t have the strength to go through with it.

What it did do was give me the kick I needed to talk to family and friends and my G.P. with everything – physical and mental – that I have been carrying around for as long as I remember. Things are being tackled now, but I’m cetainly not “cured” of the idea.

I always find it very sad when people feel that much despair and that there seems to be no one who can reach out to them.

Dreadful for families and friends – but selfish? No when you are so low how can it be?

Yep, thought about it. For a while my life was pretty shit. I was outed, it wasn’t something I was even sure of myself, and suddenly at 15 I was labelled. Had some pretty awful experiences at school, and even at my gymnastics club (somewhere I’d been going since 6, by people who I thought were my friends). Embarked on a disastrous relationship with a girl (probably just because we were both in the same boat if I’m honest) and that ended very very badly, nearly ruining my relationship with my family. I was in a bad place. Thankfully for me, I found people who pretty much rescued me. Chris my housemate for one. He’s a total brick, it’s like having an older brother.

Very very happy now though. (and very pleased I never had the courage to go through with it)

It is selfish, but it is also understandable, humanity was never destined to be in such a bad place spiritually, what we endure now as a species is down to incompetent leadership and a lack of philosophical and spriritual teachers.

We need a new philosphy that puts quality of life above simply being manipulated by the rich and powerful.

Too many people nowadays are unhappy and have very little of what I would consider to be a good life.

As for me, I spend my time trying to get people to go biking and have a laugh, trying to get them into a good state of mind and away from those dark places everyone visits from time to time.

If we are to have a better way of life, then it will require that all of us contribute to creating it!

Never thought of it in the normal run of things, even when life has been pretty crap… But after my hip surgery when it took ages to regain any movement or feeling in my leg (enough that the doctors were pretty worried), yes it was a thought very much in my mind. Luckily I never had to take that thought any further.

Selfish? Maybe. Brave? Maybe. I think it’s just not that simple, or mutually exclusive. I hope never to find out.

Yes, that’s all i’m going to say, apart from those who think it’s selfish i hope you never experience how low mental health issues can make you feel

There is nothing more selfish than suicide. It is THE most selfish and cowardly thing anyone can do

It’s a quick, easy way out. Nothing more nothing less. All you leave behind us hurt and upset for other people. Oh yeah, you’re out of it alright, your problems are solved. Everyone else’s are just beginning.

Yes, I have considered it many years ago. I’m still here because I worked out how selfish it would have been.

Yes. On two occasions I have come close. I guess the thought of it going wrong and not wanting my last minutes on earth being stoned out of gourd plus the last time it would have left a hell of a mess (now, that would have been selfish) stopped me.

I ultimately see it as an inevitability really.

sc-xc – Member
Is it ****. Very selfish thing to do.

ton – Member
i agree with sc-xc.
he was still seeing his daughter on a weekly basis.
imagine how the kid feels.

Suicide is not about being selfish. It’s about being trapped and there only being one way out.

Within five seconds I’d weighed it up and though the pain my children would have for the rest of their years would be more than the pain I had. 6 years on and I’ve come through bankruptcy, found the meaning of life and respect money better and still have my children.

I think suicide is a very cowardly way to shit out and leave others behind.

Depression dose not necessarily mean things are going wrong in your life. You may have been depressed due to things going wrong but many other people are not.

I’m still here because I worked out how selfish it would have been.

what if your mind isn’t functioning well enough to figure that out – is it still selfish?

my uncle did it, was under huge pressure from paramilitary extortion in Belfast. still think he was a **** for doing it. there were answers.

There is nothing more selfish than suicide. It is THE most selfish and cowardly thing anyone can do

Of course it is. 🙄

Yes I’ve considered it, but only briefly, when I then realised I have so much to look forward to in life even if my current situation is terrible.

Strong words Peter! I mostly agree mind:

Not so often I put my mental nursie hat on here these days but:

Not sure I would say ‘selfish’, but it is very easy to underestimate the devistation on friends and to a greater extent family that comes from losing someone to suicide. I have heard many people tell me that their families would recover and be better off without them. It’s simply not true. Currently working with someone who lost a close relative to suicide a couple of months ago, (and to a lesser extent the family) for which this is all too apparent.

It is impossible to quantify misery but a family a bit miserable looking after or just being around someone will in most cases be so much more miserable if/when they kill themself, and on most cases will stay so for so so much longer than if miserable person had died of accident or illness.

It is understood from research that the risk of ‘completing’ suicide (as opposed to thinking about it or taking an overdose, quickly regretting it and seeking treatment) in a person is much much higher if that person has also lost someone close to them or a close-ish relative to suicide recently. The cascade of suicides in Jeffrey Euginedes’ “The Virgin Suicides” is a bit OTT as a story but is one kind of example, if a little far fetched.

So the person contemplating suicide ought to consider the fragility of anyone close to them and the possibility that their death may be a factor (rarely the sole reason, mind) in someone else’s premature death too.

Oh and in response to the OP question, no. Given the job I do, for me it would be like Tony Hawk comtemplating rollerblades.

A very dear friend resorted to suicide about 17years ago totally out of the blue, nobody knew that there was anything wrong, he was the heart and soul of the party, captain of the Golf Club, loads of friends, my husbands long term golf partner. He took the hose from the vacuum cleaner attached it to the exhaust and locked himself in the car….. His wife did wonder what he was doing putting the hose in his car earlier that week! It is selfish in many ways in that those left behind feel like they have let the person down by not noticing that anything was wrong, they feel that their friendship with him was worth nothing as he wasn’t able to confide in them and therefore have another avenue of possible help. I can also see that it must be an utterly dreadful thing to contemplate doing and the people who do must be in a hell of a place to think that it is the only way out or that by doing it they will relieve their friends and family of any burdens they cause them by living! Is it something about this time of year but 2 people within 200m of my house have committed suicide within the last 2 months, the most recent was sunday week ago, a lovely lady in her 50’s who lived opposite jumped from a high rock at a local tourist spot ……….
I have suffered depression but thankfully never to the stage that i would contemplate taking my own life. In the words of another poster on here – you should never judge a man until you have walked in his footsteps!

Yes, that’s all i’m going to say, apart from those who think it’s selfish i hope you never experience how low mental health issues can make you feel

I new someone who recently took is own life,Houns is absoloutly right when he says the above,Until you have been in a very “dark place” it will always seem selfish, to others that have never experienced deppression,my thoughts are with his family and friends.. 🙁

I think about it sometimes as kind of a “comfort” to myself. Like there is a way out. Went to counselling but it didn’t work for me. I hope I don’t get that low again but I probably will. It’s strange to read that other people think in the same way. I always think I must be the only one, especially when at a low ebb. I don’t understand why I feel more down in summer?

I don’t understand why I feel more down in summer?

I get this. For me I think it’s because I see more couples around, which depresses me, and that summer can be a chore for me because I always have to put on sun cream if I’m in the sun and I get fed up of it. Plus summer is never the sunny, warm, dry season I always expect it to be in this country. Turns out it’s a grey as the rest of the year, more often than not. Still, I’m looking forward to it!

A friend of mine did the same in Novemeber, similar age had a wife but no kids.

I’ve come to terms with him as he was severely clinically depressed (sectioned, medicated, tried before) but it’s his wife dealing with it that I still can’t settle with. Amazing guy, very, very intelligent (hence the depression) but had been dealing with it for some time.

We had commemorative tattoos for him on Sunday (6 of his closest friends).

One of the hardest things is the questions it raises and the complete confirmation that you will never get answers for them. It’s given me a lot of perspective and drive in my life. I only recent felt as though I had dealt with it. Hope you get through ok.

Surprised no one’s referred to this item – it’s really good. Though I think the earnestness will play better to an American audience than a British one.

Ton may remember this as I posted on here and he replied when I had got back from the last of the following.
Three times last Summer year I packed a rucksack,plan was to step off of Lochnagar,leave my pack at he edge of the cliff,take my camera in my hand,one big step and no more worries.Insurance sorted out as well as it would look like an accident.First time I put the keys in the car,last time I made it as far as the plateau,Yes to selfish,but you get in a place where you don’t give a shit,all you care about is and end to everything.
For me it was the rejection of the Christianity I had followed for 20 years, and my wife leaving me for a while,quite rightly,because of my moods (I would sit in a dark room all weekend)NOTHING mattered more than making the worries go away,not my kids or anything,and the sun rises and sets with them.For any lurkers or posters who think they may be depressed,talk to somebody.It may help