So, my wife’s poorly, I really need to be looking after the kids at home. Am I within my rights to claim a sick day, do I have to take holiday, or is it reasonable to ask my manager for compassionate leave?

You’re not sick so no, you can ask for carers leave though they’re not obliged to give you it or if they do pay you for it.

Your rights:

As an employee you’re allowed ‘reasonable’ time off to deal with an emergency involving a dependant. This could be 1 or 2 days, but your employer might allow you to take more.

Your employer may pay you for time off to look after dependants but they don’t have to. Check your contract, company handbook or intranet site to see if there are rules about this

They are obliged to give it to you, at least I am 95% sure of this. As a carer you can claim up to 11 days a year for the purpose of ensuring that care is given to the dependent; it’s called a ‘dependency day’. This is unpaid leave but the company cannot penalise you for taking it.

Check with CAB but I am sure this was passed into law recently.

Are you a Contractor Moley? If so, you’re not even entitled to the snot off their hankies….

You can have dependants leave for 1or 2 days to arrange care, if you have children under 5 you can request parental leave up to 4 weeks/year but this would typically require notice (3 weeks). Both are unpaid options, says the man who’s had 12 weeks messed up this year through his wife having a heart op.

Best to just explain and ask what they want you to do, my boss was excellent, re jigged my hours etc
Its a two way street, if they help you know you wont forget and will help them when required

My bosses are pretty good at this type of thing – my wife’s gluten intolerant (not quite coeliac, but close..) – and one boss’ wife is too.

If I phone in and say she accidentally consumed gluten the day before, they permit me to work from home, for me to be there if she needs me.