Do you dislike Elfinsafety?
Does he get on your tits?
Would you like to get the gobby little bugger right where it hurts?
I went out with the wee fella recently, and we were talking about fundraising and how I had to keep coming up with wackier and more bizarre achievements in order to keep momentum going. In between stealing my chips and ordering more poncy cherry flavoured ale, he suggested that it might be a good idea to embarrass myself by shaving by head and leaving a bizarre 'crop-circle'esque motif on there, raising valuable pennies and further alienating me from my love-life and the possibility of continued employment.
When I suggested that he might do the same, he laughed and stated how very, very unlikely that would be. In fact, he suggested that we'd have to raise a combined total of over £5K, and even then I'd would have to be at a barbers of his choosing.
So here's the score. Your combined generosity has been staggering. I can't thank you enough. But if we can raise over £5K by 8pm on Friday of this week, I will personally (aided by my lovely stylist WCA) shave Elf's hair into a Travis Bickle style monstrosity and dye it bright red.
I will then post the pictures onto STW for a caption contest in order to obtain the most humorous response. The caption contest judges will be made up of four of STW posters, hand-picked by myself, and the winner chosen by them will receive an exclusive Team Bullheart race strip, of which there are only 25 in the world!!!
Elf doesn't have a clue about this. Thankfully he's a good soul and would never turn down the opportunity to help others... 
Come on folks - if you haven't dipped in, do so now! We're already close to £4K. Another grand and we can all say that we did our bit to make the Elf look like a tosspot, captured for eternity on the wonder of the Interweb!
x
I'm just warming up
