Ok, so next week I have to drive from Birmingham to Stornoway and back, I will be driving a more or less empty van the whole 1400 miles…any ideas how I could raise some petrol money on route?

I guess the obvious one is by collecting something for someone, but are there any other ideas out there? Backup vehicle for a cold/poorly routed LEJOG attempt? Pickup a wealthy hitchhiker? Film it and hope for Long Way Round levels of success? Any ideas STW?

Put your mattress in the back and buy a huge pack of extra strength condoms then stop at every truck stop enroute.

Transporting Plutonium?

Take out AA relay cover, drive 10 miles, break down, get relayed to destination.

That always seemed to be the way my mates van got places further than about 30m from home.

Become a driver for Uber.

That could be a bit of a nightmare drive with the snow in the North of Scotland.

Do an ebay search for outer isles/skye/NW Highlands, see who’s selling what + offer your services.

Blablacar ap. Tell people when and where you’re going and sell seats.

If there’s hardly anything in it…couldn’t you get someone to haul for you instead? Be a damn sight cheaper wouldn’t it?

583 miles new street bham to stornoway bus station,and proably about 130 quid fuel each way

I’m not sure even a lonely trucker would want my services, I’d probably have to pay them…and I’m not doing that again! 😛

Do you have plutonium that needs transporting, I lost most of my plutonium contacts after college.

I’m going for the snow really, fancy a bit of fatbiking in the white stuff, plus I have people to see up there.

I looked a shiply/uber – not enough time to get fully registered.

I like the ebay idea, I take it no-one needs any bikes moving?

583 miles new street bham to stornoway bus station,and proably about 130 quid fuel each way

Sounds about right, I’m 35 miles south of new street so its around 1300 miles there and back, and yes…£200 in fuel is about right

Fancy a pint when you get there? I’d buy a lift, but have just finished booking flights, sorry.

Oh aye – and what is the ferry costing you?

Don’t need anything bringing up – but I’ll wave as you sail past our home on the ferry.

If your back for Wed evening could you bring back some Haggis, Cranachan & a Bag Piper for my Beaver Scout group.

That’s an idea, take a van load of Marag Dubh back south with you.

Try asking on Yorkshire divers forum – its the stw of the diving world and (when I was on there) was full of people buying and selling kit and looking for “yd mail” options for getting it from a to b.

Don’t forget the ferry costs!

you could sign up with Anyvan – its a site that matches people who need things moved with people who move things

take a van load of Marag Dubh back south with you.

bring some katlama north with you and drop it off in Ayrshire. Never been able to find it outside of birmigham.

(only slightly more) seriously though. If you’re looking for part loads or whatever you’d really want to have courier insurance for goods in transit and I’m not sure one trip would warrant the expense.

Dunno about the way there, but on the way back, take as much Stornaway black pudding as you can, and flog it down south. Will be pish easy, the black pudding in England is putrid.

[quote=scotroutes ]That’s an idea, take a van load of Marag Dubh back south with you.
[/quote] 🙄 😆

The ferry is £55 or thereabouts so not too bad.

Offers of pints/waves etc – yes, certainly, I’ll let you know when I know my dates/times (probably best after the 10hr drive not before it).

Diving forum/anyvan I will check out!

Ok so take Katlama north and Haggis/Blackpudding south …got it, this must be what it’s like doing border runs into Mexico!

I’d invite you for a brew at Lancaster but they are dicking around with the M6 junction this weekend and it will be chaos off the motorway.

Can you not hire a van there?

Ok so take Katlama north and Haggis/Blackpudding south …got it, this must be what it’s like doing border runs into Mexico!

I think we need to agree and exchange rate

Can you not hire a van there?

Or if you are travelling nearly empty – just hire a car or smaller van. Before I bought my astra van I used to hire cars for long hauls as the fuel savings over my sprinter more than offset the hire. (a boot load of katlama is still plenty of katlama)

Could hire a van there, but its around 150 to fly to inverness + trains/bus/ferry, or around 140 return on the train. vs 200 in petrol and I can carry my bike/gear/bed/heater/kayak…Katlama in the van.

Exchange rate… I’ll carry all the Katlama you want over the border in exchange for a passport and my kids back…is that not how these things usually work.

your passport and whats left of the kids – deal?

Put your mattress in the back and buy a huge pack of extra strength condoms then stop at every truck stop enroute

Dont forget lube and a rubber ring otherwise driving will be uncomfortable 😉

Dont forget lube and a rubber ring otherwise driving will be uncomfortable

I ride a 26″ hardtail, there’s no damage a gang of northern truckers could do in the back of my van that my cotic hasnt already done! :p

your passport and whats left of the kids – deal?

Jokes on you, I don’t have any kids…no idea who’s sprogs you’ve got!

What you need is to set a few cameras up in the back of the van.

Cover the base of van in cheap, slippery flooring.

Add about 20 cats, (a couple with go pros) and then chuck a jar of spiders in and film the whole journey.

Upon your return, make a nice 3 min edit for YouTube and retire from the proceedings (you may need to go into hiding for a while)