I and two guys from Cycle Chat were up on The Coppice hill above Accrington. There’s an old stone monument up there and on this fine evening there was a fat bird bending over it with a bloke standing behind her, troosers round his ankles, giving her what for. We had no choice but to ride past about 20 ft away and as we did she turned round and shouted “Come on you feckers, aren’t you coming over for some?”

As we rode on down the hill three young blokes were heading up looking sheepish, clearly not dressed or shod for a day out in the country. Later we heard that it’s a notorious dogging spot; there even used to be a shelter up there but that was demolished after many complaints from the public.