Does is bother you what people think of you?

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Does is bother you what people think of you?

100 posts & 49 voices | Started 1 year ago by dogbert | Latest reply from BigDummy

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kaesae - Member

As for clothes, trying too look good, worry about what other people think, I'm all too aware of the fact that all I have is the moments.

Staying focused on what I want and having a simple but enjoyable life is all that matters. Am I perfect, not buy a long shot, however if I was there wouldn't be much left for me to do.

Everyone needs to learn to set self aside, don't let your minds draw you into arguments or put you off balance emotionally. Fighting isn't always the best way to win, sometimes letting go and not allowing shit to effect you is the only way to win.

I'm off to find something to do, I just got woken up by a mouse at 5:20 am and I have the choice of go back to sleep or get on with my day.

Posted 1 year ago #
deadlydarcy - Member

People who don't care are usually not very nice anyway.

Posted 1 year ago #
yunki - Member

shamefully it does bother me.. to the point where I believe it influences my decisions and often even the things I say..

obviously to a certain extent this is normal to a lot of folk.. but I feel that it can inhibit me sometimes.. which is something that I consider to be quite negative.. as we only live once and I believe we should live life to the full and offer our fullest possible contribution..

EDIT: I've edited this as I've been up since O'christ 00 O'clock with a teething baby and am feeling surreal.. I did ramble on about some other stuff.. but I don't know if it was appropriate to the thread or something I wish to share with the forum at large..

ironic

Posted 1 year ago #
tazzymtb - Member

[/quote]People who don't care are usually not very nice anyway. [quote]

yep that's me

I don't care what strangers think about me and if by some bizare twist of fate you end up as a friend, then you already know what I'm like so have accepted all my little oddities and therefore I don't have to worry about that either

Posted 1 year ago #
xherbivorex - Member

it bothers me if people i don't know (or who don't know me) take an immediate dislike to me, but it wouldn't be unexpected based on past experience, and it's not enough to make me want to reconsider any of my life choices.
i do care what my close friends and family think of me, but (luckily) they like me anyway so that's fine.

Posted 1 year ago #
FeeFoo - Member

I don't care what strangers think about me and if by some bizare twist of fate you end up as a friend, then you already know what I'm like so have accepted all my little oddities and therefore I don't have to worry about that either

...and yet you posted that on here to show people what YOU are like.

Oddly elliptical.

As hoomans we need to care what others think of us. Otherwise society wouldn't work.
If people think they genuinely don't care about other's opinions then they are either completely self-deluded or they are actual sociopaths.
In the case of the latter, they wouldn't be posting anything on here.

Posted 1 year ago #
tazzymtb - Member

FeeFoo - like I care?

Posted 1 year ago #
jenbe - Member

couldn't care less, in fact my girlfreind says i seem to enjoy pissing people off!

Posted 1 year ago #
cynic-al - Member

I love pissing people off.

And don Simon watch out or I'll bully you

Posted 1 year ago #
don simon - Member

And don Simon watch out or I'll bully you

Let me know when it starts so I can behave appropriately.

Posted 1 year ago #
lipseal - Member

Nah couldn't careless. TBH

Posted 1 year ago #
MoreCashThanDash - Member

I used to care what people thought - then when I had kids, at 34, I finally grew up and got over it.

I am who and what I am. I have numerous faults, but trying to be someone I'm not, or do stuff just to fit in with the group, are not among them.

Posted 1 year ago #
stanley - Member

Taking a break from writing a long essay on conformity and obedience.......... and having looked at lots of evidence, most people are bothered about what others may think of them. Even those that deny this are conforming on many levels in order to be accepted.

Probably.

Posted 1 year ago #
don simon - Member

Posted 1 year ago #
FeeFoo - Member

We're too simple a creature not to conform in this way. Our emotions get in the way of a constantly logical thought process.

Posted 1 year ago #
xiphon - Member

Couldn't give a flying f__k.

I ride a bright pink bike (so I hear the usual "You must be gaaaaay") and an old Patriot (so I hear the usual "Can't you afford a decent bike?").

Posted 1 year ago #
jenbe - Member

xiphon - Member
Couldn't give a flying f__k.

I ride a bright pink bike (so I hear the usual "You must be gaaaaay") and an old Patriot (so I hear the usual "Can't you afford a decent bike?").

yea i got my self a nice pink bike, that pisses people off!

Posted 1 year ago #
Kit - Member

Yes.

Posted 1 year ago #
noteeth - Member

Only if I fancy them...

Posted 1 year ago #
stanley - Member

How on earth can riding a pink bike pi55 people off ??!

If you like pink, then enjoy riding your pink bikes.

Both bothered about what people think I reckon, even if it is for a negative response, it is the response you need. You're seeking acceptance through efforts to be an individual.

Posted 1 year ago #
DezB - Member

I used to think I didn't care what anyone thought, but maturity has made me realise that I do care what the very few people I like think of me.

Posted 1 year ago #
tazzymtb - Member

stanley- do you think that it is possible for someone to be an individual or to have thoughts or beliefs that do not fit in to an an accepted "norm"?

Your entire argument/point of reference seems to hinge on the mistaken belief that you can only be a sheep and conform or;
don't give a toss, step out side the rules and according to your hypothesis still conform by seeking acceptance?

You seem to only be reading into things that fit into your narrow hypothesis

Posted 1 year ago #
xiphon - Member

Goths - they cry out to be individual, and rebel against the norm (conformity of the masses).... yet they all wear black, listen to Cradle of Filth, and need anti-depressants.

Posted 1 year ago #
tazzymtb - Member

appart from the fact that you think cradle are goth and are a lazy tool to use a rather poor stereotype,I agree with you.
Conformity of the masses applies to a lot of people as humans tend to function best in small tribal groups regardless of the uniform (football teams, religion, musical subculture) we are not herd animals and attempts of social engineering to make us all into a hive for the good of the fallacy of "one big society" will always fail.

Posted 1 year ago #
nickc - Member

Yeah I care. Perhaps I shouldn't but I know it's important that I feel people like me.

Posted 1 year ago #
stanley - Member

"stanley- do you think that it is possible for someone to be an individual or to have thoughts or beliefs that do not fit in to an an accepted "norm"?"

Yes (I do), although our thoughts, beliefs and outward behaviour may not be quite the same thing.

"Your entire argument/point of reference seems to hinge on the mistaken belief that you can only be a sheep and conform or;
don't give a toss, step out side the rules and according to your hypothesis still conform by seeking acceptance?"

Blimey, didn't think I'd made such an argument! So if you don't give a toss- why step outside the rules? Do you have to do this to prove that you don't give a toss? Then you are not conforming in order to conform to not giving a toss.
So do you believe in some middle ground where you are neither a conforming "sheep", nor seeking any sort of belonging and acceptance?

"You seem to only be reading into things that fit into your narrow hypothesis"

I could attempt to argue the other side if you prefer?

Well if I get this essay finished first.... 'head is full of trying to argue whether or not all of this conformity and obedience can explain behaviour during the holocaust !

Edit. Tazzy.... don't bother answering this, I thought you had something intelligent to say but having read your response to xiphon, I realise that I was mistaken

Posted 1 year ago #
tazzymtb - Member

head is full of trying to argue whether or not all of this conformity and obedience can explain behaviour during the holocaust !

that may have also been fear of ending up in a shower block sniffing zyklon B

Stanley you edited too late....so there!

Posted 1 year ago #
stanley - Member

....On the part of the soldiers.

I was right

Damn this stw stealing my attention...... got to get this work done but can't concentrate!

Posted 1 year ago #
The Fopster - Member

I don't care. And I do. Let me elaborate...

I have no desire or need to "impress" people. I do my own stuff and people can take it or leave it.

However - I do think people need to get along, so I wouldn't want people to have a problem with anything I do. So I try to be considerate and make sure that doing what I like doesn't mean at the expense of someone else's happiness.

Actually that sounded a bit hippy with an added side of knit your own wholemeal sandals. Hope I haven't offended anyone. What a dilemma...

Posted 1 year ago #
BigDummy - Member

I absolutely do care, yes. Not about "most" people (whoever they are), but about a certain critical mass of people regarding me as a worthwhile person, I do. And that doesn't have to mean conforming to anything, it doesn't influence my tastes very strongly, it isn't going to get me driving a car, or fretting about the words on my clothes necessarily. But faced with meeting a new person who doesn't seem hideously unpleasant or completely closed-off I'd much rather invest time and energy in having that person think "BD's pleasant, open, interested,entertaining, knowledgable and (if remotely relevant) quite cute" than leave them thinking "what a dick".

Obviously, being fairly recently single and living in a new city at 32 may influence this somewhat.

Thanks to all those in Bristol who have been so welcoming, and those elsewhere who have been generally excellent, you knows who you are.

Posted 1 year ago #