Nah couldn’t careless. TBH

I used to care what people thought – then when I had kids, at 34, I finally grew up and got over it.

I am who and what I am. I have numerous faults, but trying to be someone I’m not, or do stuff just to fit in with the group, are not among them.

Taking a break from writing a long essay on conformity and obedience………. and having looked at lots of evidence, most people are bothered about what others may think of them. Even those that deny this are conforming on many levels in order to be accepted.

Probably.

😆

We’re too simple a creature not to conform in this way. Our emotions get in the way of a constantly logical thought process.

Couldn’t give a flying f__k.

I ride a bright pink bike (so I hear the usual “You must be gaaaaay”) and an old Patriot (so I hear the usual “Can’t you afford a decent bike?”).

xiphon – Member
Couldn’t give a flying f__k.

I ride a bright pink bike (so I hear the usual “You must be gaaaaay”) and an old Patriot (so I hear the usual “Can’t you afford a decent bike?”).
yea i got my self a nice pink bike, that pisses people off!

Yes.

Only if I fancy them…

How on earth can riding a pink bike pi55 people off ??!

If you like pink, then enjoy riding your pink bikes.

Both bothered about what people think I reckon, even if it is for a negative response, it is the response you need. You’re seeking acceptance through efforts to be an individual.

I used to think I didn’t care what anyone thought, but maturity has made me realise that I do care what the very few people I like think of me.

stanley- do you think that it is possible for someone to be an individual or to have thoughts or beliefs that do not fit in to an an accepted “norm”?

Your entire argument/point of reference seems to hinge on the mistaken belief that you can only be a sheep and conform or;
don’t give a toss, step out side the rules and according to your hypothesis still conform by seeking acceptance?

You seem to only be reading into things that fit into your narrow hypothesis 😀

Goths – they cry out to be individual, and rebel against the norm (conformity of the masses)…. yet they all wear black, listen to Cradle of Filth, and need anti-depressants.

appart from the fact that you think cradle are goth and are a lazy tool to use a rather poor stereotype,I agree with you.
Conformity of the masses applies to a lot of people as humans tend to function best in small tribal groups regardless of the uniform (football teams, religion, musical subculture) we are not herd animals and attempts of social engineering to make us all into a hive for the good of the fallacy of “one big society” will always fail. 😀

Yeah I care. Perhaps I shouldn’t but I know it’s important that I feel people like me.

“stanley- do you think that it is possible for someone to be an individual or to have thoughts or beliefs that do not fit in to an an accepted “norm”?”

Yes (I do), although our thoughts, beliefs and outward behaviour may not be quite the same thing.

“Your entire argument/point of reference seems to hinge on the mistaken belief that you can only be a sheep and conform or;
don’t give a toss, step out side the rules and according to your hypothesis still conform by seeking acceptance?”

Blimey, didn’t think I’d made such an argument! So if you don’t give a toss- why step outside the rules? Do you have to do this to prove that you don’t give a toss? Then you are not conforming in order to conform to not giving a toss.
So do you believe in some middle ground where you are neither a conforming “sheep”, nor seeking any sort of belonging and acceptance?

“You seem to only be reading into things that fit into your narrow hypothesis”

I could attempt to argue the other side if you prefer?

Well if I get this essay finished first…. ‘head is full of trying to argue whether or not all of this conformity and obedience can explain behaviour during the holocaust !

Edit. Tazzy…. don’t bother answering this, I thought you had something intelligent to say but having read your response to xiphon, I realise that I was mistaken 🙂

head is full of trying to argue whether or not all of this conformity and obedience can explain behaviour during the holocaust !

that may have also been fear of ending up in a shower block sniffing zyklon B

Stanley you edited too late….so there! 😆

….On the part of the soldiers.

I was right 😉

Damn this stw stealing my attention…… got to get this work done but can’t concentrate!

I don’t care. And I do. Let me elaborate…

I have no desire or need to “impress” people. I do my own stuff and people can take it or leave it.

However – I do think people need to get along, so I wouldn’t want people to have a problem with anything I do. So I try to be considerate and make sure that doing what I like doesn’t mean at the expense of someone else’s happiness.

Actually that sounded a bit hippy with an added side of knit your own wholemeal sandals. Hope I haven’t offended anyone. What a dilemma…

I absolutely do care, yes. Not about “most” people (whoever they are), but about a certain critical mass of people regarding me as a worthwhile person, I do. And that doesn’t have to mean conforming to anything, it doesn’t influence my tastes very strongly, it isn’t going to get me driving a car, or fretting about the words on my clothes necessarily. But faced with meeting a new person who doesn’t seem hideously unpleasant or completely closed-off I’d much rather invest time and energy in having that person think “BD’s pleasant, open, interested,entertaining, knowledgable and (if remotely relevant) quite cute” than leave them thinking “what a dick”.

Obviously, being fairly recently single and living in a new city at 32 may influence this somewhat.

Thanks to all those in Bristol who have been so welcoming, and those elsewhere who have been generally excellent, you knows who you are. 🙂