Please could you place a foot note at the bottom of each page and or supply a freebie with each issue.

This urgent request comes after yet another dry butt incident whilst reading an article in such a magazine.

On my travels around the country i meet and stay at the homes of various cyclists, at each one i end up having a sore ring piece once i’ve left.

I’ve been trying to piece together the events that may lead to such soreness, having ruled out rohypnol i have come to a conclusion it’s from excess use of cycling magazines.

You may at this point think that i have been subjecting myself to anal expanding with a rolled up mag, glossy side up, but this is not true I’ve a giver not a taker and that’s a whole different subject.

What i mean is whilst on the bog taking a number 2. Most cyclist homes have a stack of reading material in their loo’s and many of these contain bikes.

Whilst seated and relaxing, i get distracted by the content(of the mag) and read from article to article not thinking to wipe once the chocolate sausage and been released from the clutch of the winking eye.

This can go on for a length of time often resulting in the tell tale RRR.(Red rim ring)
No! This is not the brand of a product to stop muck and spray from from flying up through your forks and into your face whilst riding. It is an fact the compression ring left from sitting on the toilet for a long time.

This however isn’t the worse rim to get red on such occasions. The chocolate starfish or winking eye as i termed it earlier becomes subject to a dry wipe.

So please do your bit to prevent soreness on those parts we depend on so much to be able to ride.

At the foot of each page, please print. “DON’T FORGET TO WIPE YOUR BUM.” You may also attach a tear off Wet wipe, (with extra Aloe vera) at the end of every article.

Thanks muchly.

Sharki.

Amen. 😀

dirty boy

“think of it as evolution in action” 🙂

Actually in this case I think you’re wrong, Junky – it is much improved without them.

Pics or no pics?

It wont be too flattering as i’ve borked my knee again so it’s rather swollen right now.

Stupid castle.

I’m working on the development of a portable bidet that doubles as a bike wash. Like one of those fancy showers that sprays at you from every direction.

That must have an adjustable nozzle then. Unless it’s for the splatterers that seem to be able to get poop all over the rim, seat and somehow up the walls.

Kunstler – Member

I’m working on the development of a portable bidet that doubles as a bike wash. Like one of those fancy showers that sprays at you from every direction.

I need this in my life.

One suspects you don’t follow up with a handwash unless directed to by a sign on the back of the cubicle door, too, you dirty boy.