I can’t remember a lot about my date night other than ‘she said “I was a tiger she wanted to tame”‘…

Can you help me piece together my date using only lyrics from songs..

you took her to a supermarket, you dont know why, but you had to start it somewhere, so you started it there.

“Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?”

Holly came from Miami F.L.A.
Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A.
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side,
Said, hey honey, take a walk on the wild side.

Well, I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she walk like a woman and talk like a man
Oh my Lola, lo lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo lo Lola

As I kissed her goodbye, I said, “All beauty must die”
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

“Space rockets in flight, afternoon delight” ?

“Do you want to fix my muffler? It’s got a hole in it”

Relax, just do it.

When I’m out walkin’, I strut my stuff — yeah, I’m so strung out
I’m high as a kite; I just might stop to check you out
When I’m out walkin’, I strut my stuff — yeah, I’m so strung out
I’m high as a kite; I just might stop to check you out
Body and beats, I stain my sheets — I don’t even know why

But now I’m jaded, your out of luck, I’m rolling down the stairs, too drunk to &$@!

Agadoo doo doo push pineapple shake the tree
Agadoo doo doo push pineapple grind coffee

I remove my clothes
Very very clumsly
Trippin’ sensually over my jeans ’cause I’m still wearing my shoes
But it’s OK because I turn it all into a sexy dance.
Next thing you know I’m wearing absolutely nothing
Except for my socks
And you know when I’m down to just my socks
What time it is
It’s business time

She’s filing her nails while they’re dragging the lake

I’m gonna watch you bleed

Alright. Well that was alright for a while but soon I wanted more.
I want to see as well as hear and so I hid inside her wardrobe.

Does your dad own a brewery?

“Right,” said Fred, “Both of us together
One each end and steady as we go.”

Arnold Layne had a strange hobby
Collecting clothes
Moonshine washing line
They suit him fine
On the wall hung a tall mirror
Distorted view, see through baby blue
Oh, Arnold Layne
It’s not the same, takes two to know
Two to know, two to know
Why can’t you see?

Now he’s caught, a nasty sort of person
They gave him time
Doors bang, chain gang, he hates it
Oh, Arnold Layne
It’s not the same, takes two to know
Two to know, two to know
Why can’t you see?

Then we’re in the bathroom, brushing our teeth. That’s all part of the foreplay. I love foreplay…

a-Chicka-chicka, a-chicka-chicka, a-chicka-chickow-ow-oww!

Then you sort out the recycling. That isn’t part of the foreplay process but it is still very important. Next thing you know we’re in the bedroom. You’re wearing that baggy old ugly t-shirt you got from your work several years ago. Mmm, you know the one, baby…with the curry stain. Oww!

Oh, yes!

Team building exercise ’99! 8)

Also:

‘I know you won’t believe it’s true, but I went with her cos she looks like you.’

Stay, lady, stay, stay with your man awhile
Why wait any longer for the world to begin
You can have your cake and eat it too
Why wait any longer for the one you love
When he’s standing in front of you

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

To the same tune rugby club lyrics

Syphallis,
Now it don’t half hurt when I try to piss

@drles 🙂 Squeeze have many great lyrcs for this poster … Cool for Cats was written for him

I’m a dude
He’s a dude
She’s a dude
We’re all dudes, hey

Good morning. How are you? Shut up!

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don’t want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
‘N’ grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt…
when…
I Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Wanna tell you story
About woman I know
When it comes to lovin’
She steals the show
She ain’t exactly pretty
Ain’t exactly small
Fourt’two thirt’ninefiftysix
You could say she’s got it all

She was an rum old slapper and we always tried to get her pants off when she phoned Left her cap by the sink it’s not what you think Oh take me home

Seahorses – Love Is The Law

I tried to make it work
You in a cocktail dress
and me in a suit..

Blurred vision and dirty thoughts
Feel out of place, very distraught
Feel something coming on
Yeah, kick the jukebox, slam the floor
Drink, drink, drink, drink some more
I can’t think
Hey, what’s in this drink?
It feels like somebody put something
Somebody put something in my drink
Somebody put something
Somebody put something in my drink

Blitzkrieg mit dem Fleischgewehr

Smells like sushi

Whatsa matter you, hey!
Gotta no respect..
Whatta you think you do, hey!
Why you looka so sad?
It’sa not so bad, it’s a nice-a place,

Ah Shaddup-a you face.

Stay, lady, stay, stay with your man awhile
Why wait any longer for the world to begin
You can have your cake and eat it too
Why wait any longer for the one you love
When he’s standing in front of you

We had our first dance to that when we got married!

There’s a voice that keeps on calling me
Down the road, that’s where I’ll always be.
Every stop I make, I make a new friend,
Can’t stay for long, just turn around and I’m gone again

“Frankie says RELAX”

It was Saturday night and I’m feelin kinda sporty
Went to a bar and caught me a 40
Got kinda a high and a…kinda drunk
So I kicked the ass of this little punk
Forgot my key and had to ring my bell
My momma came dressed, she said, “Who the hell?”
Wait momma, wait, it’s me ya little son
Before I knew it my mom pulled a gun
“I know who you are, but who the hell is that?”

Read more: Schoolly D – Saturday Night Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Best stop there as the rest may offend.

That’s right, that’s right, that’s right, that’s right I really love your tiger light
That’s neat, that’s neat, that’s neat, that’s neat, I really love your tiger feet
I really love your tiger feet
Your tiger feet
Your tiger feet
Your tiger feet

I swear on the wet head of my
First case of gonorrhea…