My oldest lad will be three in September..

he’s always been a bit of a legend, very happy and bright and generally good company..

only he has started whingeing.. at every opportunity he will wail and whine, with the least provocation.. it’s crazy and absolutely soul destroying..

We’ve always acknowledged that most of his behaviours can be traced back to our input at some point along the line.. but what the heck have we done to promote this..?

any ideas..? what have we missed..?
what should we change..?

please make it stop

he has started whingeing.. at every opportunity he will wail and whine, with the least provocation

my son’s 15 and has recently started exhibiting similar behaviour.

*watches thread with interest*

probably given him a little too much attention when he whinges or given in to his whinging for an easy life (all too easily done) when he whinges about something, smile and simply ask him to repeat his request nicely without whingeing (in words he’ll understand obv.). he should get the hang of it eventually.

he has started whingeing.. at every opportunity he will wail and whine, with the least provocation

my son’s 15 and has recently started exhibiting similar behaviour.

My son started moaning and playing up at around age 3yrs too.
He has just turned 15yrs old now and is still the same!
I don’t think he will ever grow out of it 😐

Welcome to parenthood. Remember you are not their friend you are the parent. This is the description of a friend
” he’s always been a bit of a legend, very happy and bright and generally good company..”
Just say no. He’ll get the hang of it.

just say no and ignore him

so much easier to say than do but it does work eventually….

If not try favourite teddy gets a chinese burn for every whinge!

Wot Robo sez…

If not try favourite teddy gets a chinese burn for every whinge!

That is GENIUS. Should I ever reproduce, I’m using that.

He’s 3. You’ve got at least 3 years of it before he might start to level out as school sucks the will to live and do anything other than watch CBeebies out of him. If you’re lucky, else see above 🙂

My 2.5 year old has turned into a wingey little git recently too!
It’s just phases I suspect – I mean, how justified is it to burst into tears for having your (pork – grow up boys..!) sausage cut in half!!!
“put it back together Daddy..”

DrP

My niece had an almighty tantrum on her third birthday; “I WANT TO BE TWO!”

it’s a phase, you just gotta roll with it, reward the good behaviour, don’t encourage the “challenging” behaviour.

Sounds like he knows how to get his own way. Ignore it as much as you can… can be hard in public tho. Try leaving him at the pub.

My spaniel does exactly the same thing in the mornings when he is waiting to be fed. At the first sign of a whine, I shout down at him to shut up and after that he’s quiet.

Kids are like dogs yes?

Agree with GW and DrP. Our 2.5 year old (and his 18 month old brother) is the same sometimes, generally after a trip to the grandparents where they can do no wrong.

We usually explain to them calmly why whinging will get them nowhere and ask them why they’re upset. It’s quite amusing to see the look on the eldests face when he realises he doesn’t know why he’s moaning 🙂 Youngest tends to just nod his head and babble, but he gets it. I talked him down from a full on tantrum yesterday, which was quite surprising.

Our three year old is exactly the same and is now known as a ‘three-nager’ 😀

younger brother getting more attention?
younger cries parents run eldest tries the same?

Nothing worng with being friendly /matey with your kids or of cours eyou could just cruish him by saying no till he gets used to it….your choice

I too feel your pain as ours gets close to being a three-nager!

The strops tend to revolve around food so we’re going to try a bit of tough – “if you don’t eat that you’re having nothing” – love for a while.

The main problem is I can’t get away with snacking between meals as I invariably get caught with my hand in the cookie jar!

Make a fuss when he’s being happy and trying things, get all austere parent when he’s being whingy – but try and recognise when he is genuinely upset rather than playing up.

Finally accept that all parents are failures – the only choice you get is how you fail.

Its a phase. Adjust how you approach/act with him though. As you may be promoting certain behavioural traits?

Daughter is 5 and started this at 3 and has been doing the same – doesn’t take much to set her off! +1 for the patiently explaining then ignoring route. Requests only considered if delivered in a polite manner – any nonsense is ignored.

Wife consistently gives in to the whining and gets it much harder than I do – daughter knows I won’t stand for that crap.

The ‘terrible twos’ aren’t just confined to that age. Draw a line and don’t move it.

my eldest daughter is also 3 in september and has also developed the same whingeing characteristics. I don’t havd an answer yet, but, will sell for circa 20k…… 😉

Get a vasectomy – for you not him..

Just a phase but face it some kids are whiners, my eldest is a totall hypochondriac but very thoughtful and placid otherwise, the youngest has a real temper on her and doesn’t listen but is quite brave and always wanting to try stuff. You don’t really get to choose their personalities just how they cope with shit.
Just walk away when it gets too much, the negative attention is as bad as pacification. Oh and good luck.

three-nager

Brilliant!

Some mornings ours wanders into the bedroom, and (despite having a cracking vocabulary normally) will only communicate in grunts and stares!!!
He’s nearly a “Three-nager” and isn’t he showing it!

DrP

If not try favourite teddy gets a chinese burn for every whinge!

Tried this with my wife last night. Found Yellow Ted in the cupboard, and can confirm it’s also effective with 33 year olds. 😉

+1 for plenty of positive attention. All too often when they settle down to play or read a book, or do something self sufficient, we take that as the sign to do something ourselves. Hence the only way to get attention is to play up.

It’s important they become self-sustaining, otherwise you’ll spend your whole life entertaining them, but it’s a fine line to make sure that they get enough attention when they are being self sustaining too.

Get a vasectomy – for you not him..

I already did that to myself, with a kitchen knife, in the toilets of the maternity unit minutes after our youngest was born..

If I had had an inkling of what he was going to be like I would have done it 9 months previously

😐

“We’ve always acknowledged that most of his behaviours can be traced back to our input”
I’m sure you meant to say “thanks” Yunki 😉