Given the unremitting shite of the last month I was forced to simply shrug when I got home from walking the dog to find the dustbin lorry has knocked my motorbike over twisting the forks.

:checks skillset for omnipotence:

Sure man, whatever you say 😉

Worlds ending soon, so I wouldn’t sweat it.

….saying that, the way your luck has been going you will probably be left behind when the rapture hits.

Exactly. You’ve only got 5 hours 45 minutes left, so best get on do all the things you’ve always wanted to.

two hours left in the world I’ve spent most of the day preparing the allotment for planting tomorrow, FFS I should of been out shagging anything that moves.

just when I thought it had to improve, take the dog out for a walk in the sun. Shorts, shades, sandals….ice cream van…so go to get an icecream when some bloody little kid arrives on her bike, jumps off throws it down and the handle bar goes straight on my big toe. It burst and I had to hobble home with a bleeding foot.

Call a personal injury lawyer and sue her out of existence.

Mtfu! 🙂