I’m stuck in Tesco with the future mother in law. I’ve been here for hours

head for the drink section and get stuck in.

What’s on offer on the whisky aisle?

try to avoid taking her up aisle number two

Which tesco? I’ll phone in a bomb scare for you.

Did you make it out without clobbering her over the head with a piece of frozen halibut?!

I hope you are still not stuck there!

Got out an hour ago. I am shattered. Tesco on a Saturday afternoon is not recommended, especially not with 2 women. I need to go and chop some wood or watch a war film and crush a can of beer with my head or something

i can understand having to shop with a woman from time to time but can’t think of any acceptable reason for shopping with 2 woman at the same time!
are you mad

Go to the magazine section.

Although don’t bother looking for top shelf “art pamphlets” ………they don’t have any, despite this claim :