I’ve posted this before, but I like it. I promise I haven’t made it up, it was in a company-wide email:
“Firstly, we have signed a transformational outsourcing deal with xxxx which will deliver an increase to our cost synergies from the £112m per annum in 2013, which we will still hit on time, to £143m per annum by 2015. This deal de-risks the embedded value, contractualises the delivery of the cost synergies, and it de-risks the execution of our plans, allowing us to focus on the other opportunities we have as a business.”
I proper lolzed when I read it. And died a bit inside.