based on some presenter on the tv I have started saying “I think we need to step this up a gear and take it to the next level” at appropriate moments 🙂
A colleague asked me to “expedite the inquiry with extreme prejudice” – A right doughnut … and highly likely to make it to a few ranks beyond the ceiling of his charm & ability.
The abbreviation reinforces the relationship between client (the important person) and the service provider (the gimp). If I sent a ‘Tku’ back to him I believe there would be a faeces-fan collision.
No, I don’t work in the city, but a lot of our clients are city folk in expensive suits.
This is the kind of email content I get quite a lot:
let’s get together with the technical partners to draft an improved investment and realisation timeline horizon
In a similar fashion to BR, I sometimes get “Best”. Hmph…couldn’t be bothered to write “Regards” then?
I reply and end mine with Bestest, 😀
Thankfully, in my line of work, most people say what they mean…very succinctly. Mind you, in a couple of weeks, I’m dealing with an Architect and an Interior Designer…now that’s a whole world of bullshit in emails with them. 😆
“it’s in your gift” is the current favourite at my work. I hear this as we don’t know, don’t expect any help or guidance but if you F it up it’s all on you….
Let’s skip the bull**** bingo on this one and pull together to push the envelope!
I laughed and said ‘We are tigers, Rarrgh’ thinking he was being ironic.
Sudden look of self doubt crossed his face as he couldn’t work out if I was joining in, taking the piss or just a bigger knob than him. Fortunately his ego took over and he believed I was flattering him.
“We’ll talk off-line” – i.e. they don’t know the answer or have the mental agility to make one up in front of their “subordinates”.
“There’s a lot happening in the margins” – i.e. claiming their privy to a lot more info than anyone else……..and therefore still unable to give an answer.
Fess up and say I “I don’t know, I owe you an answer”, then p**s off and find out. Makes me rage.
TBH this sort of thing is quite amusing, you know what they’re saying from context and it’s really quite harmless.
What gets my goat is the use of abbreviations and expectation that you understand or know the meaning or people that use complex business speak to explain an essentially simple process “the strategization” or “the marketization”, I mean WTF?
not bullshit bingo, but a colleague of mine today after a lengthy teleconference with a client that wanted everything apart from the moon on a piece of string put the phone down and announced ‘if he thinks he’s getting all that he can kiss my hairy swingers’
I’m going to try to get that into common business usage, maybe a KMS request?
eg: Brian Forbes-Hamilton in marketing has just sent me the outline for another one of his KMS projects.
Idea showers instead of brain storms makes me want to gag and it’s in the pipeline…. well when is it coming out?!!!!
True story, got told by someone senior in a recent role I was no longer allowed to use the term Brainstorm as the PC nuts had apparently gone crazy on it and supposedly it’s in some way shape or form offensive to the mentally impaired! Or retards as the rest of society calls them… 😉 Seriously though, WTF? How can “Brainstorm” be offensive to anyone? I flatly refused to use “Thought Shower” though, makes my skin crawl! As does “Touch Base” as has already been mentioned… Feeling quite glad not to be working in a big office right now! 😀
I can generally deal with bullshit bingo ok as I just tend to let it wash over me, but there’s some new ones to me on this thread, especially the shortened sign offs. Unreal that you couldn’t be bothered to write two full words after sending a whole email!
It would seem that I fail to “embrace new ways of working”. You mean I’m not doing twice as much work to make you look better after you binned half the team?
Too **** right I’m not embracing new ways of working!
I can generally deal with bullshit bingo ok as I just tend to let it wash over me, but there’s some new ones to me on this thread, especially the shortened sign offs. Unreal that you couldn’t be bothered to write two full words after sending a whole email!