Longtime lurker, first time poster…

Just found out a few days ago that my wife and I are expecting… Been together 11 years, married for 6, so I guess we're about due! 😆 I must have super fit wrigglers as 3 weeks ago was the first time we've ever had unprotected nookie, I'm a one shot wonder 😆 Anyone else managed pregnancy with one attempt??

Wife is in a bit of shock, kind of wants to get rid of it I think, but I'm against that (maybe a legacy of my catholic upbringing I guess), though it's not religious 'pro-life' it's more that I think it's our responsibility and something we shouldn't shirk? I've said that I don't know how things would work out if she decided to terminate, I'd hope that we'd work through it, but my gut feeling is that I'd struggle… I'm not wanting to blackmail her, but just being honest (I hope).

Anyhoo… I think we've decided that it's going to happen (pregnancy that is), but jeez… it's all a bit surreal at the moment! We never really wanted kids, so this is out of the blue and has really thrown us, but I think we'll be OK and adjust… need to concentrate on saving, will be selling off a lot of bike gear soon as it's probably a luxury I can't afford (currently have 5 bikes along with a massive stockpile/hoard of bits!). Then it's back home to Oz in the new year and a new life (again!)…

Any advice for the unexpectedly pregnant couple?

Congratulations.Once the kid arrives you will wonder how you ever managed without it.(that statement based on you saying you were keeping it)And you will see teflon coated breeks as a priority when buying trousers 😈

Bugger… we're up the duff!

Forgive me for my biological ignorance, but I'm not sure that's quite how it works…

😉

Congrats mate! Best of luck and that.

Forgive me for my biological ignorance, but I'm not sure that's quite how it works…

Title edited for biological integrity! Good pick up there mate 😉

I'm a one shot wonder Anyone else managed pregnancy with one attempt??

You really are a glass half full person…let's hope it looks like you. 😉

I'd advise not telling anyone about it till after the 3 month scan. A lot can go wrong in the early days.

I'd advise not telling anyone about it till after the 3 month scan. A lot can go wrong in the early days

That's what my wife says as well… trouble is I'm appalling at keeping secrets, I just can't do it… might have to in this instance I guess.

my wife agreed to wait but just told everyone anyway.

everyone says it but until it happens you have no idea how important this is..
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get some sleep now 😯

Our first born is due, err, any day now… so excited, but also a little nervous. what happens when you get home? do you just stare at it, waiting for it to do something?

What happens when you get home?

😀

warton – chill.

You will know what to do…….and if you don't the little tyke will let you know you are doing it wrong 😆

Seriously, it'll be fine.

ha ha, i'm in the same boat – although about 6 weeks away…. me i was thinking just leave the missus with it and go out on the bike, what with paternity leave an all!! 🙂

well I'm in the middle of the NCT course and so am learning all sorts of things. Basically it seems you have to be able to feed the baby whenever it wants which is between 8 and 12 times a day, then there's lots of nappy changing and short sleeps. That's it for 6 weeks.

"between 8 and 12 times a day"

that's a larf.

between 8 and 12 times a night for my first born, the little scrote.

he was 3 before he slept all the way through and he was at school before he did so reliably.

he's a lovely lad now though 🙂

is anyone ever ready for kids? At least (unlike those who think they are) you've not deluded yourselves!

Yep – both my kids were from similar; the first more planned (although I expected a breathing space) than the second…

But hey kids are great for teaching you to grow up and curing you of your bad habits (swearing, smoking, drinking, going to bed late)

Since getting married my swearing has increased significantly so hoping baby will have a positive effect.

Been together 11 years, married for 6

Wife is in a bit of shock, kind of wants to get rid of it I think

I don't see how it could even be a consideration in your position personally.

I must have super fit wrigglers as 3 weeks ago was the first time we've ever had unprotected nookie

And she is sure she is pregnant? Is she showing yet? 😉

Basically it seems you have to be able to feed the baby whenever it wants which is between 8 and 12 times a day

Pfft – you should try it with twins 😐

That's it for 6 weeks.

You should be so lucky 😉

Anyone else managed pregnancy with one attempt??

Yes, triplets.

(although it was Mrs Higgo that got pregnant, not me)

Shock is normal, even if you’re planning it, I can assure you. We had plenty of time not succeeding at getting pg to get used to it, but it doesn’t make the shock any less when you actually get a result! I’m still in shock (23wks pg at the moment) and cannot believe that we’re having an actual baby – even though I had a crying session the other night because my baby is going to leave home and get a job. Which brings me on to – be prepared for hormonal weirdness from your wife!!!

because my baby is going to leave home and get a job

Ah the light and the end of the tunnel…a frickin' long tunnel but still.

I don’t really see how you can go from having unprotected sex to wanting a termination, surely if you have unprotected sex you are aware of the consequences and happy to deal with them, otherwise you’d have been taking precautions?

oh and congratulations !! 🙂

Congratulations! I hope you go through with it. Our son (first born, planned) is coming up 6 months now and we can't imagine life without him.

Go to NCT, but I'd recommend the NHS ante-natal courses too if you have the time. It can feel a bit like overload at times, but the NHS course was a lot more factual and informative IMO.

NCT can be a bit tree huggy (word?) and there will be a lot of pressure to breast feed (mum not you!), just do what feels right. That said it is great for meeting folks as they tend to be outside of working hours so dads go too, and you can build a good support network – even with friends and family around to help out it's nice to have people going through it all at the same time. We had a pretty tough time for the first month or so (colic) and my missus found the group a huge help.

Most importantly, don't worry if you feel unprepared – nothing can prepare you for this! You'll work out what to do one way or another, the best advice I can offer is to get him/her into a routine as early as possible – babies love routine and you'll benefit.

Good luck!

If she doesn’t want it it's her choice.

The level of resentment caused by "not wanting to blackmail her"will be off the scale if she realizes her career/future/social life is adversely affected by the decision she (you) make in the next few weeks.

Give her space to think and decide what course of action to take.

Sorry about the dark tone, it's just not everyone thinks babies are great/amazing/life changing in a good way.

Our NCT class has been pretty good despite me thinking unnecessary. Met some good local couples I hope we keep in touch with and learnt a lot that didn't get covered in the NHS class which my wife also went to. I don't think ours puts on pressure to breast feed though it is a focus and the idea of breast is best is there. Ours emphasises the idea of choices the most and to make sure you make the right ones for you. Not sure why anyone would choose not to breast feed really but some can't for various reasons I believe.

be prepared for hormonal weirdness from your wife!!!

Originally from MrsFlash.

Rich reckons you don't even have to be pregnant for that! 😆

Rich reckons you don't even have to be pregnant for that!

😆

I had lots of worries about the practicalities of having a child and the effect it would have on some aspects of my own life (money, riding time, sleep, mess in the house etc)

Those worries all evaporated at the first scan.

+1 for NCT classes, we still see most of the couples that went to ours about 7 years ago.

Anyone else managed pregnancy with one attempt??

one attempt? ha! we managed it without attempting at all!

If she doesn’t want it it's her choice.

In a stable relationship and married? Call me old fashioned but I don't agree that it should be a consideration (in their circumstances) unless there are health risks to either the mother or baby. Of course that is just my opinion.

Anyone else managed pregnancy with one attempt??

*raises hand*
First time, yes.
Next one was 'well, it must have been a fluke, we wont get pregnant first month trying'. Oh yes we did.
Third time was, oh well, be nice to have July baby. July 1st he arrives….
So yes, three times.
Snippage was done ASAP after that.

Of course that is just my opinion.

Formed by what, religion?

+ matt_outandabout – that's impressive!

+1 for NCT classes, we still see most of the couples that went to ours about 7 years ago.

Yeah, my wife has made a great circle of friends who, a year on, she still sees regularly. They are just a better class of people than the scrotes we met at the (in our case, frankly worse than useless) NHS ante-natal course. One of the pregnant mother-to-be's at the NHS course even had an ASBO ankle tag. Nice.

Formed by what, religion?

Not at all, I am 100% not religious, I just feel that a responsible adult in a secure relationship should take responsibility for their actions. After seeing our unborn twins at a 12 week scan in late 2008 re-enforced my belief that it is already a tiny little person in there and there should be a just reason to terminate the life.

As I say, in my opinion.

fair point, no offense meant!

I had lots of worries about the practicalities of having a child and the effect it would have on some aspects of my own life (money, riding time, sleep, mess in the house etc)

Those worries all evaporated at the first scan.

Likewise. And after the second, when we came out with a really clear picture, my heart melted. If Mrs North had asked me to sell all my bikes at that point, I'd have agreed in an instant. 😀

Hope you Flashes are doing well – Mrs North (also 23 weeks – due the day after you IIRC) now has a sizeable bump and a very wriggly baby that seems to do backflips every time she eats anything sugary. 😆

I think I’m probably with Mastiles on this one. Objectively, I am absolutely, positively 100% pro-choice. However, if I were to have got pregnant by accident whilst in a secure, happy relationship, there is no way I could have terminated.