So there i was cycling along the cyclepath, which is off the road on a pavement when theres a massive whack on my right shoulder. Thought i'd been clipped by a car! Then i see a (full) 500ml bottle of coke bouncing down the road and a white van speeding off down the road at around 50mph with the passenger waving the w4nker symbol out of the window!

Now i'm sitting here with my arm aching and a massive bruise. also, i'm pretty frickin angry.

sheez, just bought a road bike as well. Think that might be going on ebay. Will stick to riding off road in future!

was difficult to see his reg number, but think i got it.

report it to the police, driver did the same to me, got a call from reception at work about a week later. Police had turned up to let me know that they couldn't do anything about the incident as i couldn't identify the driver, BUT they had seen the van and pulled him for speeding instead, he was doing 54 in a 50.

Doesn't solve the problem but it did make me feel a little better.

On a different occasion i complained to a headmaster after his pupils through something at me from a minibus, he couldn't give a s**t!!!

One summer we cycled from a severly delayed cross-channel ferry into Poole to Christchurch, passing along Bournemouth sea front at around two in the morning. There was me, my girlfriend, our eleven year old all on bikes and our four year old safely tucked away inside his Chariot trailer. The fact that we were a family with young children didn't stop Bournemouth's clubbers from lobbing beer bottles at us, at least one of which was filled with piss. Later on, some of the youth of Christchurch welcomed us into town by skidding up alongside us in their car and shouting 'w@nkers' at us. That, incidently was the last time my GF agreed to us all going on a family cycling holiday. (Mind you, it did p1ss it down for the best part of a month in Brittany so that could've been another factor in her decision making).

my 'favourite' was the McDonalds milkshake I had lobbed at me…

definately report it to the police,
he (maybe she) may have been reported before.

Don't let it put you off the road. Something seems to happen every couple of years with me – I'm probably due one…

I had a bad of chips thrown at me once, half way up a very long climb, imagine the supprise on thier faces as i caught them half a mile later as the road was blocked due to a serious road accident 👿

What a waste of perfectly good drink/food 🙁

Report it to the police, one of my mates did so when he had a bottle thrown at him and the chap ended u pin jail I belive

Lack of respect in todays society – bring back birching, National Servive & floggings…

Had an over ripe banana throw at me.

Oh and the Mrs had someone lean out the car window and shove her off resulting in a large hole in her elbow.

A real man he was one.

Pftt, having food thrown at you…

…try having half a brick fly less than a foot past your shoulder & in front of your face as you cycle down the road….

I had a full can of Coke thrown at me once as I tried to escape from a van that was chasing me. He'd cut us up earlier (me and a mate), I'd hammered on the side of the van then managed to get away and into a park while he was stopped at a zebra crossing. He followed me into the park and I just made it to the pedestrianised area when he caught me up and threw the can. It hit me on the leg.

Doing the Dunwich Dynamo a couple of years ago we had bottles and a stone chucked at us from chavs in passing Escorts. None actually hit any of us but there were a couple of very near misses. Revenge was had by laughing at one group of chavs who'd misjudged a corner and rolled their Escort into a ditch. 🙂

Mid afternoon, riding in the little streets parallel to Oxford Street, two herberts were walking up the middle of the road eating fish and chips. I give 'em a shout, ride around them and then matey no1 legs it after me and lobs his lunch at my head. He was giggling and really pleased with himself and then he realised that he'd just thrown his lunch away. You could see the thought process happening in slow motion. It would have been funnier if my helmet hadn't smelt of vinegar for days after.

Go for the double whammy. Report to the police for assault and also that new Quango set up for people who see litter louts dropping stuff from their cars.

My shoulders actually swollen quite a lot now. i guess .5kg lump thrown from a van doing 50mph does quite a bif of damage. Definitely paying a visit to the police tomorrow, not that i expect much to happen.

I really think its useless going to the police for these sort of things. You need to carry something like this with you on the bike instead.

Think you could fit that into a camalbak mule?

One time when I was cycling along the canal path between Camden and The Angel some kids (don't think they were called chavs in the mid 1990s) dropped a large plastic bag full of water down onto my head. I didn't realise what was happening at first. I just felt a massive smack on my head and a sudden rush of liquid all over my body. Initially I lost control of the bike, but as the water dispersed and the empty bag flopped down onto my handlebars I managed to keep the bike on the tow path.

As my GF and her friend were laughing and the kids were ten feet above me on top of a wall there wasn't much I could do without adding to my humiliation. So I reflected on how lucky I was that I didn't end up with a broken neck or in the canal.

Hell, and I thought the moron in an A6 1.8l saloon who rev'd passed me today was a nuisance. Guys, a rocket launcher needed.

Yeah, I'm sure many people who regularly ride on the road can produce a number of examples like this. It's frigging diabolical IMO. I've had a number of things thrown at me, including drinks cans. I've also had some stinging liquid sprayed in my face, smelt like anti-freeze, all completely un-provoked attacks. I'd contact the police if I were you and have the number, it's assault plain and simple, but the best you can hope for is that they just have a talk with them.

I've chased down most people who've done this to me, I've caught some of them and have gobbed into their car, screamed through their open window, dealt out a couple of kicks to the car door. None of these things made me feel better. They're animals and reverting to these measures just drops yourself to their level.

had an egg hit me once while cycling near finsbury park, never even figured what car it came from

Once, a couple of years ago I was riding through a village when i was called a **** w@nker by a bunch of youths, to my amazement (i'm normally quite tranquil) i stopped and threatened them – there were about 6 or 7 of them. they said they said nothing which woulnd me up a bit so i crossed the road and surprise, surprise, they scarped.

Bunch of narrow minded morons. They are. OP, hope your arms ok soon enough, don't let the cretards stop you biking.

Same thing happened to me a couple of weeks back. Car full of chavs went passed and I got cracked in the side by a can of coke coupled with the passenger leaning out the window calling me a "f**king useless c**t". How I wish I had a grenade to throw back.

Couple of days prior to that I recieved a load of abuse from some fat **** in a Range Rover. Sadly I couldnt think of a better retort so all I came out with was "**** off back to burger king you fat sack of shit"…really should work on some better ones.

never had anything thrown at me on my commute or any road miles …well apart from abuse that is
Dont let it put you off and report them

I'm just about to start commuting this week and treated myself to a nice fat Kryptonite lock today, guess there might be a few smashed car widows/chavs faces in my area coming up

reminds me of the time i went jogging, some ginger ****t in the passenger seat of a corsa shouts "Fat something or other" out if his pals mums Corsa, i shouted "c'mon then ginger" Car screeches to a halt, the fat porker gets out and faces up to me a good twenty feet away, refusing to come any closer, so i shouted at him to get back in the car with his girlfriend and **** off……i wasn't happy that i resorted to their level but the red mist came down

now something like this in their rear view mirror would b justice

it's not a great solution but it would be nice to see the little feckers pi55 themselves in front of their gorless mates

never had anything thrown at me on my commute or any road miles …well apart from abuse that is
Dont let it put you off and report them

Me neither, although I'm a big chap (not all fat ya know) maybe that puts them off.

Sadly I couldnt think of a better retort so all I came out with was "**** off back to burger king you fat sack of shit"…really should work on some better ones.

Don't be too hard on yourself, I think that's quite a good one.

I've never had anything thrown at me in my life, I wonder what's gonna happen next time I'm out on the road…

i've never had it commuting. I reckon its because they just can't drive off due to all the traffic etc.. Its always when the roads are quiet and theres no traffic lights.

Don't be too hard on yourself, I think that's quite a good one.

He's right. a good retort IMO.

I had a group of lads jeer at me in a citreon saxo, nothing malicious just being prats, caught them at lights so I asked the driver if his mum knew he had borrowed her car.

Amused me at the time.

This sort of stuff is all too common. You can't stop people being cocks!!
Reporting to the police is just a waste of yours & their time (imo)
I've just come back from the Lakes.. did some road miles & had some blokes in a 4×4 chuck rubbish at me. Nothing too nasty, just fag packets etc. They must've been well pleased with themselves, picking on the lone skinny roadie 🙄

Anyone fantacise about an ideal response? Mine would be to catch up to the Citroen Saxo/Vauxhall Corsa etc at the next lights hop off grab the sill and turn the fecker on its side……. I so really want to do that!

{correction} I so really want to be strong enough to do that!

Had a glass thrown at me once by a ped. He ran off.

As for car drivers, I keep meaning to carry a swiss army knife. Slash a couple of tyres…..you're a marked man afterwards though!

My mate once snot-rocketed onto my shoes on a ride. So I shoved him into a bush.

Same happened to me with a glass bottle of stella, it hurt.

Had a can of coke thrown at us (on a group ride) once. Missed me, but hit my mate on the back.

Last Summer on an evening ride just coming back into town some passenger in an on-coming chavved-up Nova took the sweet he was eating out of his mouth and lob it at me. Hit me square on the bicep. I was doing c.25mph, car was doing c.35mph… dunno how fast the sweet was travelling. Stang a tad, that one.

I've also been spat at by a passing car.

Mate was pushed off his bike into a ditch couple of years ago by passing chavs. Police could do little more than shrug without a reg no.

Another mate had his arse slapped by a passing car. How he stayed upright I'll never know.

Lost count of the times I've been heckled while riding. Nowadays if I'm solo I tend to ride with an iPod so I can't hear all the abuse… otherwise one day I *will* get into a fight. And I'm a lover, not a fighter :O)

If you like I can regale you with what could possibly be considered succesful relatiations……

Sat at the lights in the cycling green zone, guy pulls up alongside me, I tell him (nicely) that this part is for bikes, he gobs at me, spit goes straight through my frame, misses my leg by millimetres. I've just done a big climb and my mouth is filled with flem. I whooey a massive one through his window onto his passenger seat. Bloke in the car on the other side of me cheers and shouts stuff at the driver.

Guys throw a bag of rubbish out the window at me and shout stuff at the lights as they jump the red. I grab the bag and chase them down, I catch them at the next set of lights and throw the bag through the window, 'you dropped this', murmurs but no real response.

(my favourite)
Guys scream out of their window at me as they pass, scares the crap out of me. I catch them in a traffic queue later on but sneak up on their car, dart forwards, stick my head right inside the car and scream as loud as I can, sweat and spittle spraying across the occupants. "Scary, isn't it?", I suggest. They are all transfixed in whimper mode. The guy in the back looks like he's had an accident in his pants. That day was ace.

And many, many more. I've had a few dodgy incidents where people have ganged up on me or have not backed down but for the most part, crap drivers in cars are complete cowards IME.

Some trog flicked a fag at me from his car window as I was riding down the outside of a traffic jam. I looked back at him and his mates laughing but just gave him the standard finger and carried on. At the end of the road the cause of the tailback was a pretty bad accident. I would have loved to have stood there with the police to see his face as he rolls up, but they looked pretty busy with all the traffic and mangled cars.

I carry my shackle lock looped over the bars for defence in situations such as this – although I have never had anything thrown at me apart from abuse – but I have had cars try to force me off the road.

The trouble with carrying the lock like this is you get tempted to use it – I dented a van with it in temper once which rather scared me as I rather lost it.

Maybe a set of these from the incomparable sheldon brown

IKWYM TJ, often wonder what would happen if you panelled in a bonnet/light cluster etc with a D-lock. Probs best not to find out…