Got a small metal fragment in my leg below my knee at the weekend and have only just managed to get a surgical slot to have it removed.

Now, because it was in so long, it’s infected (VERY) slightly so they want to keep me in to give me IV antibiotics. I guess I’ll also catch MSRA while I’m in here too.

But it’s just so boring. I’m not in much pain and can monitor swelling, redness and pain quite happily myself at home.

What does one do in a hospital? There no telly, everyone else is ill and the o,ace generally smells of death. I’ve at least got Internet access, but I need some fun.

Any suggestions?

Thought about faking a heart attack for attention……

Wrong forum. Sowwy.

Blame the morphine.

Request a bed bath

Every hour 🙂

You have morphine? Just press the button 🙂

Or:

a) Crack onto every nurse, especially those looking like Hattie Jacques
b) Pull the emergency cord in the bog because you thought it was the light switch (I have done this)
c) Start a thread on STW with just the word “undertaking” in the title, sit back and enjoy..
d) Buy something you don’t need on eBay
e) Enjoy the tranquility
f) Scream blue murder as to why the hell you don’t have a TV.

Get well soon 😀

I guess I’ll also catch MSRA

Im starting to think you’re not a real doctor. Are you….

Definitely fake a heart attack 😆

You could also shat the bed just to see what it’ll be like when you’re an OAP!

I guess I’ll also catch MSRA

and also probably Clostridium Dificile (cdiff), and norvo virus.

Not to mention VD.

Are you a real Stoner?

I’d love a Hattie Jacques style matron and would definitely have a crack. Sadly they’re all either male (I am bored I guess….) or frightening.

Bed bath is winning so far.

As is wearing my hospital gown back to front and running up and down the corridor asking for directions to Cardiff (getting sectioned is on my bucket list)

and also probably Clostridium Dificile (cdiff), and norvo virus

it’s (edit)Costlydiddums

Have a dangerw… during the ward rounds.

CFH – excellent idea. Me or another patient?

Make it a skiing threesome?

Skiing!
PMSL!

So wrong.

Practice your Kenneth Williams “oooh Matron”

Already done that. She was too young to remember Carry On so just thought I was being mental (adds fuel to the fire of sectioning me).

If only there was a bar. Amazed no-one has thought of it. They’d make a killing!