whn i'm doo dunk i chit dowwwn

i have just returned from my 1st ever (memory may fail me) sitty down pee.
it was quite liberating…………i told the wife and she is pi55ing herself with laughter…………. 😆

i told the wife and she is pi55ing herself with laughter………….

I hope she was standing up to keep the balance of things in order.

And Stoner's hoping ton will post pics 🙂

I often have the urge to do 1 & 2 together. Sitting is then preferred.

Take care not to let wee spray up through the gap between the seat and the bowl.

I get the problem of spray in high winds and in urinals.

Funny thing about high winds is if you stand up wind to your a**hole brother he gets a nasty suprise 😈 😆

Anyone else find the "closet queer" tag a bit primary school and possibly a little homophobic? 😕

Anyone else find the "closet queer" tag a bit primary school and possibly a little homophobic?

Now I know you're not Graham, but I have to ask.

Are you new here? Because there is no other excuse for not being aware that the humour on STW can sometimes bump along the floor along with the dragging knuckles. 8)

Maybe they had a Prince Albert (and not one Dialled Mikes)…

You'd be grateful they sat down rather than next yers I should think!

Yeah I know. Just not a big fan of the word "queer" as an accusation.

Please continue the micturition-based mirth.

Please continue the micturition-based mirth.

There's mirth?

As a youthful sailor I hadn't been introduced to the necesity of sitting to piss and was reduced from a standing waz to flat on my back by a massive wave. Sadly when I start to piss there is no stopping – very uncomfortable feeling being stuck flat on your back watching your old man hose you down and not being able to do anything about it whilst knowing you'll have to go back on deck and converse with the rest of the crew you hardly know with a foot wide piss puddle on your stomach.

We bought the wife a She wee so she can join in our "pissing the fag butt to the drain" game in piss troughs on Manchester neets oot….

Just not a big fan of the word "queer" as an accusation.

And yet some people are very happy to call themselves queer

i think we are all a bit queer on here…………… 😉

when your pissed, its easyer to sit than stand

@ton: Seconded! 🙂

if you pee sitting down you dont empty your bladder completely

oink – Please provide evidence. i'm intrigued!

I have to sit down…if I don't then the reading material obscures my view and I don't even know if I'm in the toilet…

My guess is the closet queer tag is not being pejorative about queers – but about being in the closet.

Surely only people who are worried about their sexuality have to make such a show of their machismo? Closet queers in fact.

you ever taken a piss in bare feet, or in shorts? or left a newspaper on the ground next to the loo? Then you'd have noticed that even if you're pissing directly into the bowl, there's quite a bit of teeny tiny droplets/spray flying back up; over your legs, on to your feet and all over the floor… gross!

Yup, if you're smart enough to aim it properly this doesn't happen. If you pee directly down into the water of course it splashes and makes a noise. You need to learn to use the no slip condition of fluid mechanics, this prevents unwanted splashback and means you don't have to sit shoving your bits downwards under the rim and risk peeing out the gap between the two. Christ, I learned this aged about 10. However it does change from loo to loo, so careful impact angle assessment is key and requires the light on for the first few runs!

I prefer standing up because the feeling of cod toilet water on my b£llend isn't a nice feeling 😉

A bigger question is whether you sit down or stand up to 'wipe' after a solid…

Surely if you stand up, it squishes your bum cheeks together and spreads any residual poo over a wide area. Not based on experience, mind …

There was a decent top tip in Viz years ago which some of you might find useful:

To aid finding the toilet bowl in the dark, string a piece of dental floss between the bathroom doorknob and the toilet seat. When the time comes, simply straddle the length of dental floss whilst facing the door, and edge backwards, running the dental floss between your cheeks until your scrotum hits the toilet seat.

Yep, that's what I do. Makes the dental floss taste a bit salty though.

DrJ – Member

A bigger question is whether you sit down or stand up to 'wipe' after a solid…

Surely if you stand up, it squishes your bum cheeks together and spreads any residual poo over a wide area.

Not if you "squat" off the seat. Good for the thigh muscles, too. Added benefit!!

Makes the dental floss taste a bit salty though.

Same with liquorice – some people like sweet, some like salty.

>if you pee sitting down you dont empty your bladder completely

*That* explains why my OH has to go for a piddle so many times before we can get out of the house !

FWIW – I often sit down to pee if at home (where the loo seat's nice n clean) – just a bit more relaxing, and I'm guaranted not have to do the occasional oo-bugger-I've-missed-a-bit wipe-up 🙂

Not if you "squat" off the seat.

Squatting seems nmore effective in emptying your bowels, also.

Sorry for the information overload …

only ever if it's the first piss of the morning and I'm still pissed/badly hungover and can't see or stand up properly.
Or I want to annoy Mrs B by pretending to take a dump while she's in the bath!

The trouble with standing, apart from the obvious splashback and inability to read, is that it makes wiping ol' one eye with a bit of loo paper into a rather complicated task.

sitting down to pee makes sense when you think about it
If you have an iPod Touch or other similar internet-enabled device you can use the going for a pee time productively to look at on-line shoe shops and the latest celebrity gossip

..which is just the sort of thing people who sit dpwn to pee are interested in

GrahamS, you wipe after a stand up wee???? 😯

GrahamS, you wipe after a stand up wee????

That suggests that when GrahamS is using a public toilet he pees and then stands with his knob out waiting for a pew to get toilet paper. Hmmm…

GrahamS, you wipe after a stand up wee????

No, I sit down to avoid forgoing my wipe and the subsequent risk of collateral precipitate from the post-micturition shake or the ignominy of the dreaded "wet penny".