just out of interest, when do you think work banter becomes bullying?

not a victim here or a bully, just struck me that there is a pretty fine line.

What’s your take?

the when the ‘target’ decides it’s bullying?

Banter is two way.

^^

When the target feels victimised and doesn’t find the banter amusing.

What is one person’s harmless joke/pi$$ take could be another persons sensitive subject.

All the above.It can sometimes be a very fine line.

When it is negative.

When the target feels victimised and doesn’t find the banter amusing

That must mean only certain people can be bullied? (I assume we’re talking “cyber-bullying”, for want of a better term)
eg. I certainly couldn’t be bullied on here.

Perfect example would be “baby robin” on here. Everyone thought it was just a stupid joke, but the guy who was the cause of it was actually getting kinda annoyed about the whole thing.

Surely there has to be intent? Just because I might find some banter offensive does not maketh the ‘bantee’ a bully surely?

When the other person isn’t quick enough/witty enough to come back with any ammunition on the other person/s. I get ripped all the time, but you’ve got to give it back. I suppose if you’re of a sensitive disposition, it could easily be seen as bullying. I suppose it depends on how relentless and nasty the supposed “banter” is.

When Chinese burns are involved, then it’s bullying

Compare the rudeness of: “You must be a rubbish cyclist”
With the helpfulness of: “Try working on your cornering technique; watch this video”

The first is a laugh coming from a mate that I trust, who’s just teasing me about riding cautiously.

But getting that response from a stranger when you can’t even see them, is just not welcome. A minority of insensitive members on here insult others all the time. That’s why I use the “killfile” thingy on them.

work banter

Ah, misread that. That’s very different.

If someone’s unhappy about the way they’re being treated or spoken to, it’s probably about time for the others to back off
<assuming they care enough about the other person’s feelings of course. It’s when they carry on that you have a real problem>

It’s usually the preserve of keyboard warriors, certainly experiences in the past seem to back that up.

I agree that it becomes bullying when the recipient decides it’s crossed a line. The most mature and correct way to deal with it is to post “Your mum” as a reply.

thanks for the comments so far.

Moving it on a bit then, if someone was feeling that banter had become bullying…how should it be dealt with. I dont think

The most mature and correct way to deal with it is to post “Your mum” as a reply.

quite cuts it 🙂

Banter:

Person 1 (laughing): Hey! Yo Mama!
Person 2 (laughing): No way, bro – yo Mama!
Person 1 (laughing): Right on. Let’s go get ratted.
Person 2 (grabbing wallet): Sweet.

Bullying:

Person 1 (laughing): Hey! Yo Mama!
Person 2 (shocked): Wha-ha-hat? My Mama?
Person 1 (sensing weakness): Yeah that’s right – yo Mama!

Bullying is banter after the laughter has stopped.

IMO, apart from occasional obvious nastiness, it only becomes bullying once the recipient has made it clear that they don’t like it (or another person has confirmed with them that they don’t like it and then says so on their behalf).

If you’re upset but stay & fight it out, it’s indistinguishable from banter/argument especially on here. Take responsibility for your own feelings & make it clear that you feel it’s unacceptable

If you see behaviour that you don’t like in somebody (or on a forum), you can consider them a cock/boor (or big hitter 😉 ) but not a bully unless you know they are aware of the effects of their behaviour on individuals and deliberately continuing

What if the bully is laughing?

OK OK not funny only kidding.

When the target feels victimised and doesn’t find the banter amusing.

nail/head

Some people have an awesome poker face to these (and other) things, I regulalry get told I need to speek up more when my mood changes as I can quite easily get very stressed but outwardly I’ll still react in just the same way as before so you wouldn’t notice me getting stressed. I got bullied at school and put it down to that. I wouldn’t say,

I suppose if you’re of a sensitive disposition, it could easily be seen as bullying.

more, I’ll take/give banter in just the same way, but at some point it’ll stress me out I’ll snap rather than giving nay indication that it’s got to me.

Moving it on a bit then, if someone was feeling that banter had become bullying…how should it be dealt with.

It’s got to go to a superior for a “word” – presuming the bullied one has asked for it to stop without success.
I work for a company that rams “Doing the right thing” down our throats, so it would be easy to deal with here.