It’s a question that has wracked the souls of men for millenia, not to mention kept the STW hamsters busy on countless occasions. Only yesterday (and possibly still today), a religion thread was bubbling along nicely with participants asking whether other participants could prove or disprove the existence of Grand Creator (no, not Kevin McCloud).
Well, I must confess that yesterday I was a disbeliever but on the drive home I had an epiphany. The bible tells us that St Paul had his ‘Road to Damascus’ moment. I, St IHN as I shall now be called, had my ‘Road From The M4 To Tetbury, Just Past Didmarton, But Not Quite As Far As Westonbirt’ moment.
I was listening to the radio when it hit me. The giant panda. No, I wasn’t actually hit by a giant panda, I was listening to the travails of the good people at Edinburgh zoo attempting to get Mung Bean and Cat Nap (or whatever they’re called) to mate. Lady pandas, it would seem, are only on heat for 36 hours a year. Added to this, pandas live solitary lives in the wild so the chances of a Chappie panda bumping by chance into a Lady panda during the magical period where he might actually get his end away are about 250-1. If he does manage to beat those odds and actually find a lady panda willing to make sweet sweet panda lovin’, he might not actually manage to get his end away because, apparently quite often, her tail gets in the way! The keepers at Edinburgh, I kid you not, were holding it to one side with a long stick, hoping that this may help the loving couple in their quest to insert Tab A into Slot B.
Plus, of course, the pandas chances of survival in the wild are hampered somewhat by its entire reliance on a single food source (bamboo).
No species this procreationally and nutritionally inept could possibly have evolved through natural selection. Mother Nature would long since have said ‘sorry, but you’re just not cutting it’. The only way that the panda could have come to and continue to exist is via the hand of a Great Creator (probably one with a soft spot for big fluffy black and white bears).
So, there you have it. The panda exists therefore God exists. Bow down and pray mortals…