What is a reasonable answer to this question? how about eff off. 😆

‘No, we’re Satanists’.

Everything has been wrapped up and bagged in the attic for the last 2weeks , starting drop offs tomorrow as I have a day off. Just to do the food shop/collect meat for the big meal.

Yes flights and hire car booked. Bye Santa.

I avoid going to the hairdresser at this time of year just because the inane questions I get when I say, again, that we don’t ‘do’ christmas are too much of a PITA to answer. People can’t seem to grasp the idea that you don’t have to celebrate Santa’s birthday if you don’t want to and I can’t be arsed to explain why.

Yes. I will be working. Gonna have to wear a santa hat tho. I have asked if they can get me a Grinch outfit to wear on the day

I wasn’t asking the question I was calling into question the mental reasoning behind this innane and innocuous question, and asking for comedy/satirical responses one could invoke when asked.

When you’re sporting a big white beard, you get bored of this, oh, about July.

I just tell them I’m fattening up the goat for my blood sacrifice to appease the gods on the Solstice….

I’m thinking of being on my own this year, so Yay!

Looks like I’m ready.

I started christmas shopping today and bought one thing. Well that’s not true, I bought loads of stuff for me.

‘No, we’re Satanists’.

“Yes, we’re Santaists”

Whatever you do don’t say yes unless you want to be given a verbal list of every conceivable item you might need to live between the 24th and 26th by some semi-insane Xmas Panic-bot.

“Yeah well, what about BIN BAGS eh? Bet you didn’t think about that did you eh? Eh? No one ever does and you’ll run out and your whole Xmas will be ruined and that **** Nigel will leave me for my Sister again and wahahahhahahahhaaaa”.

That ACTUALLY happened to me a few years ago.

The conversation or Nigel leaving you again?

The convo – never met her before in my life, walked into an office to drop off some Quality Street and Wine, Women asked me if I was ready, “yes” seemed the easiest answer and after a semi-slow start she completely imploded before my eyes. I might have some the details out, but that was pretty much how it went. I’ve always said “No, I wish” in a over exaggerated way since like you’re supposed to and zero public breakdowns since – so it’s a internet fact!