cue Hitchcock related “The Birds” hysteria…

Riding along a nice bit of local wooded singletrack and I feel a clunk on my helmet only to then see a large brown bird flying above the path ahead of me. I stopped and checked to see if I had managed to hit any low-lying branch behind me (which I hadn’t); first thought was that maybe I’d managed to disturb the bird from it’s perch – only explanation I can now think of is I’d got a little to close to her/his nest for it’s liking…

I’d guess the wing-span was around 0.75 metres to a metre. Initially thought it may have been a buzzard but seemed to lack the white underside, maybe an owl?

My sister used to get attacked regularly by magpies on her commute in Australia, she had to put eye stickers on her helmet to keep them away.

any small mammals camped out in your barnet?

Had one come at me with her high-heel, ‘cos I bust her male friend’s nose. He started it, mind; he launched at me, ‘cos my mate was a bit drunk, and trying to chat up one of their other friends. I woon’t tell my mate to ‘leave it ahyt’ (he weren’t causing that much of a nuisance, tbh; the lass weren’t complaining. This bloke just got a bit over-protective), so he tried lamping me! Done the bastard though. Bosh bosh bosh; Goodnight Vienna, my old son.

She was a nutter; I ended up with concussion and a scratched cornea, from her attack on me.

I am not a violent man.

Most of the time.

we are watching you 😯

No birds, but my mate had a squirrel jump out of a tree on to his head! Visor over the eyes and a cut lip meant a very quick stop.

baby robin?

probably a buzzard in your case.

yeah, after taking a quick look at a bird book it seems the buzzards plumage can vary quite a bit, no owls seem to fit the description either.

I’ve been attacked by the buzzard of Yair Forest, it hit me once and swooped by several other times.

I avoid the area May and June now

Second the Aussie Magpies! Buggers! The amount of times we used to walk back from school past bush areas to be mobbed by them, had to swing a large stick over your head to keep them away!!

Only when she gets drunk 😈

A gull stole my cornish pasty once, in Padstow. Scared the crap out of me, and was also fairly humiliating as there were dozens of people watching!

Shooduv chinned it, mate!

Had a **** great big gull bowl into a chippy on Brighton seafront once. Proper hard looking bastard it was, too. We cowered inside ’til it got bored and wandered off. Chip shop bloke sad ‘don’t go out there, with an open bag of chips. They’re right vicious buggers’.

No birds but did have a badger attack the bike!
Hit the front hub/ dropouts hard enough to unclip the mudguard stays both sides (winter hack bike) almost took me down. Vicious little buggers!

Had a **** great big gull bowl into a chippy on Brighton seafront once. Proper hard looking bastard it was, too. We cowered inside ’til it got bored and wandered off. Chip shop bloke sad ‘don’t go out there, with an open bag of chips. They’re right vicious buggers’.

They are cheeky little feckers!

Heh! Little bastard! What’s it got, a packet of sweets or something?

Love the way it casually saunters in, has a look round, grabs what it wants, and then runs away! 😆

You know you have been attacked when a Mistle Thrush has a go at you.. a couple of years back I as having a rest during a ride when all hell broke loose… Mistle Thrush mum was very upset.. I spotted young in nearby bush when I was ‘getting out the way’…

😆 I think gulls are great. So cocky.

I’ve been swooped at by a buzzard before. But the funniest bird incident was on a night ride and the guy infront of me got a little owl in the face. It just popped out of the hedgerow and he rode straight into it. Very funny.

We were riding up the xc. course at Innerleithen and a buzzard flew really low over my friend Dave’s head. It gave us a fright
Big things though when up close and personal.

Top Dog – it’s been for me and others a few times! Here he/she is, watching us from a tree:

i’ll second the Yair forest buzzards. Done those trails 3 times in past few months and been attacked 3 times. First time it grabbed my backpack then swirled overhead for 10 or so minutes. Angry little buggers alright

If you ever get attacked by an ostrich just make the shape of a beak with your hand and raise over your head and point at the ostrich, hell think youre a bigger bird than him /her and will retreat, or possibly try to mate with you.

Buzzed by 5 or 6 lapwings in the Yorkshire Dales. This little bugger was heading straight for me as I took the picture

Gulls are bloody huge. I’m up at my girlfriends at the moment, little seaside town and the gulls will invade the town centre and attack anyone who dares to walk round with a bag of chips!

I’ve been attacked my geese once or twice, they’re vicious as well when they’ve got young to defend. It was on the canal towpath on my commute to work, cycling past 2 family groups and being pecked by 4 angry adults. I had to get off the bike and put it between me and the geese!

Got a bat stuck in my helment vent whilst riding home one night along the canal. Give me a bluddy fright what with all the noisey scratching about… 😯

Had some type of metalic blue Starling Kamikazee into a pie I was biting into whilst visiting the Cape of Good Hope – got hot gravy burns all over my face as the pie exploded on impact – much to everyone elses delight. Lesson learned watch out for weird yarpie starlings!

Got my backpack grabbed a few times out on the bike by various brown birds as with others.

BUT the real bad news is working in Ft William at certain times of the year. We were in amongst ground/low gull nests (or whatever they bred in) and they did not want us near the eggs/chicks. They attacked us continually, we had one person working, whilst another guarded them with stick/broom. The really fun part was when they dive-bombed and realised that the broom ninja was there and then took an airborne dump on you, these were not small birds and their diet of fish/other smelly food was reflected in their ordinance. Defo upped the tempo of the work to get out of there.

The Yair Buzzard in action

Nice pic Top Dog!

used to live in germany and was regulary dive bombed by buzzards in june as they will aggresively defend the area around their nest for 50 yrds or so i think,
shaven headed so both occasions had a pretty nasty gash in my head, thems feet is sharp!!

it happend to me on the way home from the pub one night a bird that i knew was having an argument with someone as i asked what was wrong she head butted me