a long story cut short.im about to buy a new house with my wife and we are days from exchange.i have 60k morgage on the current house that i am guarentor on only.been married for 6 years, living together for ten.she has three kids 16, 18 and 20 and we have now have two kids of our own age 4 and 6.she doesnt work but wants too.
to get the new house the morgaege needed to go up by 40k to 100k and i would then be on the hose deeds and it would be a joint morgage.we have ran up costs of (im told by her) £4000 in fees which we will still have to pay if we pull out of the sale.
in short she wants me to sign the morgage and move there.we then split finacially and she goes on benefits and i rent as a lodger.as soon as she can get a job (within 12mnts she says)she will get another lodger (possibly sooner)she is adament she can cover the bills this way.she will be strapped for cash but thinks she can manage.
i spoke to a soliceter briefly and he says a)i cant have any money right now as she would be forced to sell the family home and that would upset kids etc so it si highly likely to come to me when the youngest is 18.
b) im not going to get much as we havent been married that long, but couldnt quote figures.he did say if def wont be a 50% split of everything tho.he did say we could draw up an agreement of worst case scenarios and what will happen then etc.whilst these are very strong they are not 100% guarenteed to hold up if it went to court and got really nasty tho.
so im worried.everyone says dont do it! but if she is genuine i dont mind helping her out, but i have a very strong feeling she is trying to put one over on me, and im to finacially nieve to see what the possible pit falls could be.when alls said and done its my name on that morgage and i have to pay it no matter what.living with her could be awful is she decided to get really hateful etc etc.
p.s. she cheated on me and brought all this about but our relationship was rocky any how, there fore i have no trust in her at all..
my main query is, what tricks could she pull on me???

but i have a very strong feeling she is trying to put one over on me, and im to finacially nieve to see what the possible pit falls could be

That along with the 'on benefits' and 'will' and 'she says' and the previous thread about her behaviour means I'd suggest trying to have as little finiancial involvement with her as possible. I certainly wouldn't sign up to buy a house just before splitting! I'm assuming you're not on the deeds of the current house? Why do you/she need the new house?

You've not exchanged so there'll be no penalty there. solicitors fees will need to be covered but they shouldn't be as much as £4k I reckon – IIRC mine were more like £1.5k in total if not less.

yeah, the other week she said it was 2500, then this week its nearer 4000?
it also surveyors,structual survey, morgage being reworked etc etc..

How fast can you run?

You want to do what?!?!?

Them fees sound waayy to much. The fact that you say "So she says" points out you dont trust her anyways.

Are you mad?

Take the kids and hit the road!

You are f*cking toopid!
Put both names on the mortgage at least but if you divorce you are ducked.

Charge the older kids rent/contribution?
But then again you're married for 6yrs -any reason why you both will split?

How can you not trust your wife? if you don't then you need to fix your relationship or get out.

What tricks could she pull

1. She could stop paying and you'd be at least partially responsible for the mortgage even though you wouldn't be living there. That'd make it near impossible for you to ever buy your own place not to mention the risk of bankrupcy, etc.

2. She could live in the new place with the other bloke (if he decides not to run though based on all you're saying he'd have to be even madder than you!) with you paying for it

Seriously DON'T sign anything. If there are fees to be paid off (eg the solicitors) then pay what you owe but don't get taken for a mug.

I hope your solicitor understands the situation because I sure as hell can't follow what you typed above!

Quoi??! is that a new form of english that i havent seen before? Im sure my move to Switzerland and learning french have had an impact on my english but WTF??

I'm no lawyer but that sounds dodgier than a dodgy night down the dodgems.

i def dont trust her.she was married before and she then owned the house outright.no morgage.as the law stands she then had to take out a morgage to pay off her ex husbands share.she has always been really bitter about this and just didnt seem to "get" the fact that thats just the way it works…
but im trying to work "what possible that she could do"?

Just to be clear

It all sounds far too complex a process, with myriad arrangements and promises to foul things up.

Get out, and don't enter into any kind of arrangement with her.

Why do you need the new house? It sounds like her attempt at setting herself up before giving you the flick but leaving you to pay for at least part of it (which maybe in itself isn't completely unfair since presumably she'll be looking after the kids).

So you buy a house together – then split financially – then you pay rent to live in your own house while your wife lives of benefits!!!?

Sorry mate but if you can't trust your own wife over this sort of thing you don't want to be signing anything!

To the OP: It is really hard to read your posts. Punctuation. Helps. A lot.

but im trying to work "what possible that she could do"?

Remove the need to try and work it out – simply walk away from the house sale, pay the fees and sort the divorce out. Once the dust has settled – financially and emotionally – then you might want to have a look at this car crash waiting to happen situation again (…maybe…) 😯

I have just realised you are buying your house via a PFI scheme 😯

On the original thread I advised you to talk and try and make a go of it. After reading your subsequent posts I'd like to change my advice. She is having you for a mug. After the sale, she will go on benefits and then guarentee to get a job within 12 months. She must be a pretty high flyer if she can guarentee to get a job that will cover all her outgoings (including the extra cost of childcare while she works) within a set time. Kinda makes you wonder why she isn't making that sort of cash now. Oh, and the "fees" have mysteriously gone up from £2500 to "about" £4000? Really?

You put yourself and your kids first. She is taking the piss mate.

don't do it, stop now

you are not thinking straight, you have not taken the time to get decent legal advice. Once your name is on the mortgage you will have 3 long term options

– wife buys you out. It doesn't sound like she will ever be able to do this

– wife sells the house, and you split the equity. You are unlikely to get half, and she is unlikely to agree to sell if she is comfy where she is. If you want to move out you won't be able to borrow enough to buy (because of your existing commitment).

Pull out of the sale/ purchase. Stay put where you are. Talk to a couple of solicitors.

Yes, you need to think about your kids. But you need to think about you too.

You are about to get screwed, of that there is no doubt, brace yourself. You do have some control over how hard you are going to get screwed

Everyone saddle up….we got ourselves an INTERVENTION!

Buying a house doesn’t cost £4000 solicitors fees around £1000, survey less and possibly a setting up fee on the mortgage. Which possibly shows she is being devious from the start, no?

in short she wants me to sign the morgage and move there.we then split finacially and she goes on benefits and i rent as a lodger

i doubt this arrangement will work – you will be considered to be living together and you will be expected to pay for her.

Stop now

What tricks could she pull on you?

Your name would be on the mortgage. If you stop paying up, you would have to go bankrupt and the house would go from under the lot of you.

She could kick you out, separating you from your kids. You would be pretty much obliged to keep paying the mortgage in order to not go bankrupt, and to keep a roof over your kids heads. If you stopped paying out, in the divorce her Lawyer would present this as what git you are. If you carry on paying out, you can guarantee that she'll get the lions share of it.

In a situation like this, she holds a lot of power. All she has to do is hint that you're violent towards her or the kids, or even that she's afraid you might be, and you're in big trouble. Or she could move another bloke in, and get friendly with him. That wouldn't be a situation you're likely to be able to stick out.

Ultimately, for a lot of people, money can be the be all and end all. I know of siblings who have become bitter enemies following disagreements about money. If she's willing to screw you over once, she'll be willing to do it again, and this time she could really screw your life up. If she were so minded, you could end up bankrupt and with naff all access to the kids.

my main query is, what tricks could she pull on me???

Get you in the house, like you say… nice and easy false allegation of domestic violence, ouster order against you, kicked out and homeless, she moves in new bloke to live with her and you're now homeless and still liable for half the mortgage, which she'll try and claim for in the divorce settlement.

Regards the 4k solicitors bill toward the house sale – you might want to get a breakdown, as 3k of that is the relationship breakdown advice she's been taking before screwing you over good and proper.

You might get hurt by ejecting, but not as much as you will in the crash…

She doesn’t even need to use the domestic violence allegation. With the kids, no-job (housewife?) and a women it's likely a divorce court would settle in her favor i.e. liable for half the mortgage but being kicked out.

DTMFA

You are about to get screwed.

I'm not the sort of solicitor that you need (yet) but have done divorce and conveyancing ages ago.
I cannot see how the purchaser runs up £4k or indeed £2k in fees prior to completion or indeed ever. Have you exchanged contracts yet? if so you could be liable in contract law if you fail to complete ( buy the house). I assume that you have not exchanged as a) you would have had to sign and b) most people exchange and compete on the same day now. If you have not exchanged your fees ought to be some portion of the solicitors profit costs the search fees and survey fee I would guess about £800 in all.

My considered legal advise is Run Away Now! You will pay now financially and emotionally but you will pay a lot more if you go through with this scheme. You are not likely to get much out of the current split but the proposed plan effectively takes that little and ties it up in a bigger liability for you where you would be fully responsible for the whole debt (mortgage liability is joint and several you can be held liable for her share too). Once she is in that house with the kids the law will not easily move her out or make her sell but it would move you out and make you pay.
There is a reason why Divorce is so expensive….. Because it's worth it.

Odannyboy – would you advise a friend to enter into an uneeded and potentially very expensive financial arrangement with a person that the friend didn't trust?

YES / NO ?

Please do not do this. I think the responses will ALL be telling you the same thing. I'd bet that she'll try anything to make you go through with the deal though, so be very wary. As said above, she's trying to make sure that she's set up well for the future. At your expense. Through no fault of your own.

I'm just glad you cut the story short as I really couldn't follow the plot at all.

DON'T DO IT! She sounds like she is trying to screw you, and the benefit system.

The only people who stand to make anything from this are the solicitors, estate agents… oh and Jeremy Kyle 😯

GET THE **** OUT DANNYBOY!!!!

OP – following your previous post about your partner cheating on you.

You really do need to need to stop and think. Really.

PLEASE don't take this the wrong way- is this an elaborate-troll?