Yes, you definitely have the wrong place 😉
Of course, I'm not sure quite whether I meet your criteria since I'm a "rider" ("goes and rides the shit outta whatever they have, and comes home covered in dirt, sweat and cuts, wearing the biggest grin.") but also like "the fluff (weight, bling etc)"
Please define clearly for me exactly which category I should mark myself down as for the people who seem desperate to compartmentalise everything.
BTW, what type of rider are you? Freeride, trail, XC race, XC trail, Agressive XC, Power XC, DH, DH race, commuter, road, touring, Freeride-lite, DH-lite, Fro? I can't really know how to interact with you if I don't have this essential information…