I’ll start with my brother in law….

He’s a mechanic, so has his fair share of minor bumps and cuts from through work. But he was also underneath a car welding when the petrol tank exploded. Luckily he lives near the East Grinstead burns unit.

Luckily he has since had two big non-fault car accidents, which have given him enough compensation for a pension as he will be unable to work past 50. Think cars getting rolled, weeks in hospital.

Today I’ve found out that he has recently had a mishap with a circular saw and stomach interface. Luckily he is quite tubby and it didn’t hit any organs, but there were two ambulances, air ambulance on standby and a lot of stitches.

Can I take out a life insurance on him?

I have to speculate that my social circle of accident prone people probably has a big intersection with the many mountain bikers I know, or at least my perception is coloured.

I know one or two chaps who seem to break bones two or three times a year on the bike.

Off the bike I used to know a guy who had written off nine cars before he was 25. He took great pride in telling me this as we sped along an undulating country road at 90mph whilst he hunted for his favourite mix tape while lighting a fag while texting.

I’ve found a strong correlation between mountain bikes and beer.

I know someone who managed to walk through a patio door, was always bashing himself, dropping things or generally being a clumsy oaf. A year or so ago he managed to fall over and break his son’s leg quite badly .

Strangely enough I’ve very rarely been in a car whilst he’s driving.

If there is some kind of “clott” gene, then he has far too much of it.

WCA to the forum…. 😀

For a few years I worked with a site manager named Danny who was the most accident prone person I have ever met. He had been a glazier to trade and had suffered a catalogue of horrendous injuries throughout his life, one of which involved him almost being cut in half when a sheet of plate glass he was carrying sliced through his torso front to back on one side just below his ribs, miraculously missing all his major organs. Left a helluva scar though…….

One day, on a site where Danny and I were working together, the site labourer, Rick came hobbling into the office.

“What’s the matter with you?” says I.
“Take a look at this” says Rick, pulling down one side of his trousers and pulling up his T shirt to reveal a huge black bruise down one side of his body. “I fell at the weekend when I was snowboarding”

Sympathy for self inflicted leisure injuries is in extremely short supply on most building sites so my response was predictable.

“MTFU you big pussy”

It was at this point that a moment of inspiration hit me….

“You don’t see Danny whining and poncing about the site and he’s been bitten by a shark”

Rick expressed a degree of disbelief at this revelation.
“A shark? F*** Off!” he opined.

“For Real!” I said and then proceeded to make up a highly embellished tale of how poor Danny had been attached by a Tiger Shark whilst swimming in Australia and the heroic tale of how he gouged out one of its eyes so it would release him and allow him to crawl up the beach to receive medical assistance from helicopter medics.
Bullshit. Every word of it.

Rick was still somewhat incredulous but, at this most opportune moment, Danny walked into the site office.

“Danny, have you been bitten by a shark?” blurts out Rick.

Fair play to Dan, he twigged straight away what was going down.

Without a word he pulled up his shirt to reveal the huge gnarled scar which runs from just under his sternum, follows the line of his ribcage almost all the way around to his spine. Imagine in your head what you think a sharkbite would look like. It’s exactly like that.

“F***in’ ‘ell” says Rick and scurries, slack jawed, out of the office and straight into the site canteen where we could see him animatedly relaying the tale to the assembled troops.

That was in 2007. To this day on every site Danny is running, at least one of the guys working on the site asks him … ” Are you the guy that’s been bitten by the shark?”

I’ve created the urban legend of Danny Sharkbite. Danny is bloody sick of it now. Danny, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry.

My 5 year old daughter.
we get an accident form home from school on average 3 times a week.

“Charlotte has hit her head on the climbing frame”
“Bumped head on desk”
“Charlotte hit her head on a branch”
etc…

She must be costing them a fortune in ice packs.

I thought this was going to be a thread about WCA

^bumps and scrapes are a normal part of a childs learning and growing experience. That is not being accident prone, that is learning.

A guy i used to race with.

Did 2 seasons on the same team, then he was let go, worked out that his race finish rate was about 15%, over those two years. Which even for a team of shit kickers was horrific. It was usually 50:50 as to whether he’d been eliminated or crashed out.

He’d hit other riders, cars (Team, commissaire, doctors, neutral service, random parked), fences, hedges, trees, spectators, finish gantries and one (or maybe two) ambulances.

Even used to fall off on long straight roads. When riding on his own.

I reckon he had an inner ear problem.

Last i heard of him he was stacking shelves in a DIY store.

I’ve got a couple of mates that’d qualify.

Mo has a load of metal in his leg from a WCA style ankle explosion (~150mph motorbike crash, track) and every bike he’s had over the 5 years i’ve known him has been paid for by his sports insurance.

Scaphoid twice, wrist once, multiple ribs, nearly took his eye out on a branch.

The other one has two fused wrists already after a whopping crash, then this:

Heading along the start and finish straight and towards Redgate Corner at close to 160mph, the front brake completely failed without warning and Adam crashed out. Obviously winded and bruised, he was fortunate to escape with dislocated bones in his hand, damaged knuckles and a broken bone which has subsequently been pinned.

And then he fell out of a tree doing his day job and broke two vertebrae in his back!

A guy I used to work with, he’s changed jobs (slightly) and moved over to Coaching now (working with top-level Youth and Junior cyclists).

Former rider himself and he also used to play rugby so he’s pretty well built. But he’s wrecked. More or less every other time he rides a bike he’ll crash/get knocked off and break various bones. He had a go on the BMX Track at Manchester on a staff session and within 20 minutes there was an ambulance out the back; he’d crashed and broken 2 ribs.

He’s one of those guys who, if there’s a pint of beer/mug of coffee within reach, he’ll knock it over. If there’s any sort of step or ledge, he’ll trip over it. The guy is a walking disaster area, he’s permanently recovering from some sort of injury or other.

My darling SWMBO has absolutely no spacial awareness and propensity to bruise incredibly easily. she can walk in to the end of the bed, which hasn’t moved in the year we have lived together, on at least a twice weekly basis. I call her spacial needs on a regular basis. I’m definitely going to hell.

Three honorable mentions before I even spotted the thread!

🙂

I am not sure if I count as accident prone. I was told by one A&E nurse that I appeared to actively seek out injury after returning for the third visit during just one of her shifts.

Stitches in scalp from a bike crash in the morning, check for broken wrist (negative) at lunch time and then an actual broken wrist from a garden chair collapsing at a BBQ in the afternoon.

I was told by one A&E nurse that I appeared to actively seek out injury after returning for the third visit during just one of her shifts.

I’d have probably reported you for stalking

MoreCashThanDash Yes you can take on life insurance on him. You pay the premium and you can collect! Happy Christmas!

Bloody hell WCA – how do you manage it..?!!!

WCA is it you that lives next door to SGH?

Yes, I decided a house within limping distance of the General Hospital was prudent.

Funny enough I was in a&e again the next day but that was taking someone else

My mate Glynn ‘accidental’ Anderton. Two broken legs from being run over on two separate occasions, multiple broken arms/collar bones playing Buttons in the village pantomime each year.
But his crowning glory was deciding to take a short cut home from a party at 5am which involved a highly inebriated fall over a garden fence. He woke up later that day with blood all over his pillow and had a terrible sore throat so took himself off to the doctor, who kindly removed the snapped off piece of garden cane that had, unknown to Glynn, lodged itself in his throat when he had fallen mouth first onto it earlier.