As a wayward teenager and gainfully employed as a piss-poor pot-pusher I was on the receiving end of a few major shoeings..

One of the most notable being when I was assaulted in my own home by four or five trainee squaddies and a couple of their older mates.. They stormed the squat that I holed up in looking for an associate of mine one evening after the local niteclub closed.. to discuss a matter relating to possible ownership of one of the local young ladies who had apparently fancied a walk on the wild side.. 😯

Due to the amount of LSD I’d taken that night it was like watching a slow motion movie.. I watched my mates leg it bravely out the back window but couldn’t follow as my girlfriend at the time was asleep in one of the front rooms..
As I tentatively edged up the hallway towards the sounds of smashing windows and furniture I was very suddenly pushed back into the kitchen by a wave of red faced and wild-eyed military personnel.. I was then sat down and restrained in a dining chair before being vigorously interrogated concerning my pals whereabouts..

My giggling and gurning put them off a bit and after 15 minutes or so they left in disgust..

Oh how the police laughed as they helped evict us from the smashed up flat the next morning.. I got away with severe cuts and bruising all over my head face and torso.. and a dislocated jaw.. but my mate’s head looked exactly like a purple football after they eventually caught up with him..
we got £30 compo each though so it was all well worth it..

julianwilson – Member

IMHO, however, you haven’t been a proper clinician of any sort until you’ve had a nice hard poo thrown at you.

Crying with laughter in the middle of the office at that one. I empathise, but that is proper funny

Been on the receiving end of many a kicking, some resulting from my loud drunk mouth, some for being with someone with a loud drunk mouth, the occasional one when I was a kid for living in a **** off big house opposite a council estate (boy I learned to run as a fat lad) and the occasional a smack in the eye from ex girl freinds.

All character building stuff.

Had a set of metal kitchen scales dropped on me from an 18th floor balcony once. Landed on my toe not my head thankfully. That was probably the closest one in terms of potential consequences.

You rural coppers have a cushty life greatape, you want to get yourself transferred to the Met – TSG. That’ll increase your potential consequences rate.

A colleague hit me on the head with a coat rack once. He’s just a bit of a twerp.

Interested as to how ernie_lynch came to be in the workplace with his barefoot father, kingtut was working with violent ex-girlfriends etc.

Oh, I see! you didn’t read the original post…

Got hit with a lump hammer (in the back) by a labourer once when i was an apprentice for laughing at him when he hit his head. 😕

Other than that just general building site aggro!

Oh, I see! you didn’t read the original post…

I did, and I also read the question in the title of the thread too – which is what I was answering.

Miraculously survived a carbomb planted by the UVF. I was only 3 at the time and being so small and so near the car bomb, all the bits of exploding car flew over me.

Had a shotgun shoved in my face whilst being robbed by the IRA.

Had a bouncer use my head as a key to open some pub doors.

Been punched in the face by my Dad, causing a very scary nose bleed. Although I was being a wee s***

yunki – That’s uncanny. Are we leading parallel lives? I could recount a story from my foolish youth that is so similar in just about every detail, its frightening.

You rural coppers have a cushty life greatape, you want to get yourself transferred to the Met – TSG. That’ll increase your potential consequences rate.

Met/TSG – no thanks. I spent enough time working in some of England’s most delightful cities, I think I’ll stay up here in bumblef…

😯 .. maybe you’re me..? and I’m you..? It was wierd times.. anything could have happened.. parallel dimension astral planing mishap perhaps..?

kingtut was working with violent ex-girlfriends etc.

I was, she did, I employed her.

But no I didn’t read the original post properly.

Boo **** hoo.

I understand TSG isn’t what it was with the current shortage of newspaper sellers….. no fun anymore

It might well be some far out cosmic stuff. Large amounts of acid being consumed could well have something to do with it. Things always tend to get…erm… ‘interesting’

Were there PCP-charged psychopaths with baseball bats? I distinctly remember that bit. It bloody hurt

I have never ever bin involved in any violent confrontation ever and quite frankly I find the idea of violence utterly abhorrent. 😐

Believe me, Fred. I’ve never been involved through choice

I pinched my left nipple closing a filing cabinet draw once years ago, it bled 😐

ernie_lynch – Member

“TandemJeremy

Working with people with dementia being assaulted is a part of every day work……… yesterday I was helping a man who clearly was a football thug in his day and he tried to lamp me with a real punch that would have hurt.”

Did you deck him ? …….what combination did you use ?

Actually much to my surprise I arranged to calm him down and give the required care – which was cleaning up the shite he had been spreading all over himself and the room. 3 years training, 25 years experience and I am cleaning up shitty stroppy old men for £12 an ahour

I am cleaning up shitty stroppy old men for £12 an ahour

TJ – is an ahour specifically time spent working on people’s back passages? Does it attract a higher rate than an hour?

Like a cost centre type of thing 😮

I got slagged off on STW while at work.
It hurt, I tell you. Man it hurt.

TandemJeremy – Member
….cleaning up shitty stroppy old men….

ideal preparation for posting on stw then 😉