Aged relative recently moved house, and says she has a few bits and pieces for us. As this has previously meant diamonds and antiques, we eagerly await.
Then yesterday this turns up. Four and a half foot by three foot of unadulterated crap.

Okay, you’re bored of an evening and you decide to do a bit of Sodoku, a jigsaw maybe, even do a tapestry kit, build a wheel maybe, ride a singlespeed. But don’t stick it in a great big fcukoff frame and expect somebody to want to look at it on their wall. Anybody else had ghastly gifts they’d care to share?

Red walls in a lounge? What were you thinking! 😉

Sell it

one of Stoner Jr’s aunts/uncles got him a toy noah’s ark complete with crappy plastic animals a bit like this.

it’s in the loft. unopened.

Get it Ebay’d someone will love that.

Stoner – Christian fairy tales aside, what is wrong with the Noah’s Ark toy?

the hideously low quality waste of valuable natural resources of it is hard to describe. Far eastern econmies were built on this kind of thing. And fake dog poo.

and the Christian fairy tales, obviously.

it’s in the loft. unopened.

Why? If he’s anything like ours he’ll love it. Just take out Noah and wife if the Christian bit offends – the resources have already been wasted (or is that’s really a big problem sell it on ebay so they might have to make one less).

Red walls in a lounge?

…and stained glass windows. I’m not sure the OP is in the best position to make comments about taste!

one of Stoner Jr’s aunts/uncles got him a toy noah’s ark complete with crappy plastic animals a bit like this.

it’s in the loft. unopened.

Why ?

Back to the OP. That is truly hideous. A high watermark in bad taste. I’d gladly accept, then take great joy in ceremoniously torching it.

Ive obviously not managed to convey just how crappy the quality of it is.

you know when you used to do vacuum forming in CDT classes with wooden moulds and 2mm thick floppy acrylic…

Ive obviously not managed to convey just how crappy the quality of it is.

Not wanting to flog this thing to death, but if its unopened, how do you know how dire the quality of it is?

big acetate window on box.

keep flogging it. You wont win me round but its increasing my resolve to leave it in the loft until he’s 18.

We bought one of those Ark things on ebay for babyswadey last Xmas…..

Watched a re-run of antiques road the other night and a similar thing was valued at £4,000, don’t kick a gift until you find out the true value. 🙂

I think this one came from a car boot stall in Essex. Doubt its the same as one off eBay…although…

My mum once bought me a trouser press for Christmas.
When a WTF look crossed my face she said “Everyone should have one”. “Well you haven’t” I replied.
I sold it for a tenner to a bloke at work who likes lines in his pants.

just remembered another one. My folks got me a geography text book one christmas. It was for the A Level syllabus. I was 28 and had completed my geography A level exams 10 years previously…

The ark toy is fisher price I think – ours has got it, and plays with it – collecting the different animals, naming them etc, and whilst I did not like the amount of packaging it came with to put it in the loft is surely a waste. Are there no charity shops/hospitals etc near you who would want it?

sheesh. it isnt the fisher price one. it really is a gash collection of plastic crappiness. f*** it Ill get it down from the loft and disappoint my son with it. is that what you want eh? is that what you really want?!>>?>!

f*** it Ill get it down from the loft and disappoint my son with it. is that what you want eh? is that what you really want?!>>?>!

🙂

*flounces off*

Now he’s gone, does anyone have Stoner’s address so i can post him a load more plastic junk ?

everyone markets a Noah’s Ark set, why does no-one do an Easter Crucifixion special. Replete with plastic nails and articulated dislocating shoulders?

If it’s such an important story, surely a market exists? Rather than believing this boat story – like the tigers wouldn’t eat everything on board in a week!

We hid its sister painting behind a false wall at a chalet in La Plagne last year.

That is indeed quite a picture.

For my 30th birthday last year, my wife takes a leave of her senses and buys me…
A Didgeridoo !!!! 😯

I’ve played drums for most of my life, I’d been harking on about a pair of Recons for months, and she decides to buy me a didgeri-flippin-doo !!!!

My face of disappointment must have been all to obvious, as she knew straight away that we weren’t on the same level. Been married for 8years and together since High School…. Never ONCE have I ever showed an interest in a d.doo !

…and…. Relax..

like the tigers wouldn’t eat everything on board in a week!

It’d take a lot longer than that. They were only out for 40 days remember, the tigers only needed to kill the two zebraffantomuses to tide them over. That’s why there are no zebraffantomuses around any more. Plenty of meat on one of those things.

Balls. I’m not talking about today’s pansy tiger descendants, I’m talking the big sabre toothed ones that roamed the planet 3500 years ago, at the dawn of time.

They’d swallow a zebraffantomus whole and then use a giraffe’s spine to pick their teeth.

One thing I never got with Noah’s Ark: are they saying that only land based animals were evil and deserved to die? Are sharks, killer whales, blue-ringed octopuses, scorpion fish, sea snakes and all other water-dwellers inherently good Christians? What about ducks? Surely they are evil?

Incidentally, I think the lions and tigers survived by eating the unicorns and the dinosaurs.

Speaking of crap presents where’s that flashing unicorn that was once posted on here, I want to see that again 🙂

[Christianity]
Genesis Ch7 v2 NIV version
Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and two of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, 3 and also seven of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth. 4 Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made.

KingJames version
Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.
[/Christianity]

[/Ed ‘Stewpot’ Stewart]

The animals went in two by two
The animals went in two by two, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in two by two, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in two by two, the elephant and the kangaroo
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in three by three, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in three by three, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in three by three, the wasp, the ant and the bumble bee
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in four by four, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in four by four, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in four by four, the great hippopotamus stuck in the door
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in five by five, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in five by five, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in five by five, they warmed each other to keep alive
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in six by six, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in six by six, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in six by six, they turned out the monkey because of his tricks
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in seven by seven, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in seven by seven, hurrah! hurrah!
The animals went in seven by seven, the little pig thought he was going to heaven
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

[/Ed ‘Stewpot’ Stewart]

The red walls look great, and won’t show the bloodstains so much when auntie comes to tea.

Going back to the cruxifiction thing my brother and a couple of mates draped themselves over the crosses erected in the local church grounds one easter time while returning home from the pub only to be spotted by the rozzers and duly told off.