Works toilets etiquette (again)

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  • This topic has 56 replies, 45 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by  rogg.
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  • Works toilets etiquette (again)
  • spockrider

    TBlock 1 ) ‘Leave it for the cleaner…… You must have a weener’ La lla la la lahhh.
    T2) Oh! ‘Shit on the seat…… Um? ‘I’ll use neat bleach’. (and hope it burns!)
    T3) ‘Never leave a clink,….or someone will use the sink’. “Doo doo doo doo dooooh.
    T4) “Don’t bother to flush?…….you deserve to get thrush! 👿
    T5) Must be in a rush………..too busy to brush
    T6) Tut, FFSake :roll:………. get a decent diet will yah!!

    T7) ARRGHHUFOGOSAKE! Use the damn brush shit headz! 😆

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire

    i was having my morning download the other week and i heard someone occupy the cubicle next to me.
    A big grunt from my near neighbour followed by thudunk-splosh-thup-thup-thup-thup-thup-thup-thup-thup

    That wasn’t the worst of it though, about 30 seconds after he finished redecorating the pan he was still in there and i heard the unmistakable sound of a crisp packet being opened and the crunch as he started scoffing.

    It would appear, from conversion – not observation, that female employees are VERY reluctant to execute the no.2 procedure in the work’s toilets.

    Reminds me of a bust up I had with Wifey early on in our marriage:
    “I want to go home now” she said.
    “But why? It’s a lovely afternoon”
    “I don’t like the toilets down here”
    After several minutes of arguing she stomped off and refused to get in the car, saying she’d walk home rather than get in the car with me.
    She got home four hours later having walked sixteen miles, clenching all the way.

    She can laugh now about how stubborn she was in her youth. And yes I did go back along the route several times to see if she’d calmed down.

    Premier Icon BoardinBob

    Piss all over the floor, shit all over the bowl in my office toilets. Someone also has a habit of picking their nose and wiping it on the wall 😕


    Tyson’s Forearm or a Dead Otter?

    One sticks proud out of the pan like the boxer’s tense arm – the other produces a pungent odour reminiscent of said rotting creature.

    Both bad news.


    I once worked at a place where we had frequent visitors from Asia.

    Was it those bloody Cypriots again? 🙄


    my old offices had bogs that ensured that regardless of angle of trajectory skiddies were left… Whoever designed those bowls needs their face shoved in one

    Premier Icon chakaping

    I’ve had several verbal warnings for leaving the pan less than perfect.

    I do work from home though.

    Premier Icon bearnecessities

    Word is on the cleaning-street, is that the ladies leave bogs in a far worse state that the men. I’ve heard this a few times, so it must be a fact.

    that ensured that regardless of angle of trajectory skiddies were left.

    Like Zee Germans with their Jobby Lobby?

    Premier Icon Vortexracing

    We got told by a bloke off the shop floor a few years ago (i.e. 30) that when he started work they only had an angled gutter with a constant running water to crap in and small walls between the cubicles only.

    One trick was to set fire to a rolled up piece of news paper, if you happen to be in trap 1, i.e. the top of the gutter and listen as it moved it’s way down the gutter burning everybody’s arse on the way past. 😀


    use the diabled toilet as no one uses them no one will know your dirty secret


    Mrs Beaker tells me that things were similar in the ladies traps at her previous place of work. Someone was happy to leave a Richard in the bowl ready for the next user to find….


    Placed I worked at had a Phantom Shitter who’d leave curly presents next to the toilet on the floor.


    We had a phantom also, would shit on the floor and I assume flush the paper?


    Print out these, laminate and fix on cubical door.

    We had to put them in our German office for the notice of the Japanese staff, who lack the technical knowledge of how to operate this equipment without the correct documentation


    At a place I worked at years ago, somebody left a brown trout of such staggering proportions that people from several different departments formed an orderly queue to admire it. If camera phones had been invented back then it would have been an internet sensation.

    At the same place, somebody got their revenge on a much-hated manager by crapping in his lab-coat pocket.
    Kept the bogs clean I suppose.

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